do you think your realistic about your trasitioning perception

[stephaniec]

I have an idea of what I'd like to accomplish. I want to feel and be perceived as being female. I'm a whole lot older and  live where everyone knows me as male for the past 20 years with no plans to move. Given my age , I don't know how close to invisible I can  get, but I'm learning to accept that and am so  grateful for the changes that have occurred and still to come  how ever far it goes. I wish I could of seen the path when I was 18, but I didn't, I had too much going on and no one to point the way. so be it, I'm happy though to be transition no matter the out come. Do you think your expectations are achievable . ( disclaimer : question is not intended to cause harm in any fashion and if said question is misinterpreted as anything other then the harmless pursuit of knowledge I am truly sorry )

[Jessica Merriman]

Do you think your expectations are achievable .

I surpassed mine a long time ago. If anything I had too low of an expectation. Needless to say I am one VERY happy woman! 

[suzifrommd]

I did not expect much. I figured I'd be one of the trans women that would always be read. The first time I passed, I nearly fainted. Now I pass most places, though not 100%. There are many people who can tell, but many others who make it clear they have no idea.

[HoneyStrums]

I don't know, its not somthing I think about much, I suppose in terms of passing, I don't exspect to pass, (this affects my scoical life some) don't go out alone if I can help sort of speak.

But as fare as everything ells is concearn I just don't think about it, it just leads to a lot of I'm not ther yets and this is taking to longs. So I take things day by day. I have some admierers, know I'm trans and pre op.  That's more then what I exspected.

I suppose that on a MtF scale of seen and treated as female then I do pass at time so its morr then what I exspectad, and on an intamassy scale as a trans is also beTter then what I exspected.

So realistick I don't know to be honest.

[Lostkitten]

When I started transitioning pre-everything, I had braces and they planned jaw surgery for me. Their compliment was that I would get a very nice masculine jaw and it got me to think. I didn't want that. Did not know why not other than that it did not feel right. So I started exploring, changing. The only time pressure I really felt was my male baldness pattern. Even wrinkles I am not worried about.

Meaning I don't got any expectations at all other than the male baldness stops and I can save up to fix the little damage done. Anything extra I gain from it is a nice extra .

I leave the surgeries aside. I don't expect any breast grow and I will need SRS anyways eventually o.o.

[ImagineKate]

Honestly I initially thought I'd be really really ugly and un-passable.

But then I began to figure out stuff, and clean up myself, and even now pre-transition I am seeing where I can go.

I think being passable is a reasonable expectation. I just need to work at it. However, unlike a lot of trans women I am not going to prioritize looks. My whole transition will be based on presentation and attitude. Voice is a must. Trying training and therapy first, if that doesn't pan out I'll be on a plane to Korea or heading to upstate NY. Looks will be icing on the cake.

I can't be 100% stealth as having a family and past will out me but I can be stealth to strangers which is good enough.

What is working against me is that there are pretty much few visible, passable transsexuals of my ethnicity and nationality. So I have to aim to look like my cis friends, which probably is not too hard.

[Mai]

i have relatively low expactations for myself when i am able to go on hrt.  trying to be a little realistic about things.   i would be happy with a A or B cup just enough to be noticeable.  less erections so that tucking is not as uncomfortable.  and even a little less libido.  and some filling out in some areas.  we'll see how much actually happens but id honestly be happy if it did anything at all.

i prefer to go into most things with low expectations but high hopes.

so that you dont get dissapointed, but things are that much better when it works out.

[Newgirl Dani]

Well Stephanie if there ever were words that expressed my own situation, yours would be a good fit.  In regards to expectations, well I believe myself to be fairly grounded in the facts of my situation.  My T levels have always been extremely high which explains many of my life behaviors but in this instance it is the cause of a very solid settling in of my male features (approaching middle 60's myself.)  With that said I will just be a bit more excited with each new advancement hrt gives me.  In that little negativity room of my mind I suppose I align right along with others my age, which is that I hope I do not get stuck in that 'in between' place.  When in this mentally dark room fortuneately I am able to realize that the only way to get in here is by being fear driven.  One of these days it will only be a teeny tiny closet that is not worth the visit.   Dani

[Ms Grace]

I expected I would never pass. Apparently that was an unrealistic expectation and I was glad to be wrong.

[Seras]

Yea. I still have a long way to go but I am not heavy set with my ectomorph build and have a big pile of money to pay for any surgery I need while only being 26 having started this aged 25.
This TG stuff gets me down a lot but really I am very lucky. I expect to achieve my goals. The hardest part was accepting myself and coming out cause my family is supportive

[Jill F]

I kicked the goal post on the ground to make sure I cleared it easily.  If you want to hit the target every time, shoot first and whatever you hit, declare the target.

Mission accomplished.

Seriously, anything better than "shaven ape in a dress" works for me.

[LizMarie]

My expectations were low but I knew I had to try. I expected to never pass, to have few friends, and expected to be treated like a freak.

Instead I pass easily 99% of the time, have expanded my network of friends by leaps and bounds, and regularly get hit on by older guys. If anything my expectations were far too low.

[Nicolette]

I had no expectations when I started in my 20s. Inspiring role models were in short supply. Caroline Cossey's story fed me with optimism of what was possible. I don't think I was wide of the mark. I think I far surpassed all my dreams.

[Ariel Renée]

This scares me to death...I know that in a few years when my grandmother passes i will be left her estate and be able to afford anything extra(and i seriously hope she is around another 20 years because she is such a blessing to this world)...but right now i have just work on getting on HRT.. and a minimum wage job to pay for it...Im so scared at the moment...the dysphoria is started to affect me everyday and i go through phases of extreme discomfort that distracts me at work...As time goes on i just feel more and more discomfort with little things about my body and being called "Big Guy"  I have being called big guy...HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT...

Its starting to become borderline torture....I need to do SOMETHING...even if i start off as a freak...the butterfly needs to come out

[Hailey zy]

I'm pre-hrt but my number one hope is to pass.  I know it sounds shallow but at 18 looks kind of are what most people care about sadly.  Being able to pass while going to college would allow me to enjoy college life more.

[katrinaw]

Wow, what a topic   

I have not come out fully yet on a person to person basis, will I? Planning and really hoping so this time. Am I scared, a little, which is why I have not come out before, been very close to it at least a dozen times before.

Risks: lose all my family, may make finding work even harder than it is with my age.

So what are my expectations?
This time I have more of a womanly look (I hope more than just breasts and slim eyebrows), hope to pass scratchily except for voice (will need surgery).  Most likely will lose contact with most of my family (worst case)... Will be living in my caravan (trailer). Will have had facial hair removal, will have to keep wearing wigs; male pattern baldness is less now than it was 10 years ago, but still there. Actually not sure I would pass outside of a close set of friends.
So reality is I do have expectations I hope they are not insurmountable.

I am praying that worst case does not happen and that I take the leap. I am sort of happy as I am... But the urge to fully cross the line is the strongest it's ever been. I'll Keep the group updated as I progress on my journey.

[Releca]

Personally my only goal is to be a woman and at leather feel female and preferably look it too. I hope its not asking to much from fate.

[Susan522]

Personally my only goal is to be a woman and at leather, (least?) feel female and preferably look it too. I hope its not asking to much from fate.

I find the question of the OP confusing.  My best interpretation is, "Am I being realistic re: my transition goals?"  This of course begs the question of just what those 'goals' are.

I think setting realistic goals is an important component of a successful transition.

[Releca]

Susan yes I'm using a phone to write post. Though some good leather may be nice too.

I agree that you need to set realistic expectations like I can't say I want to look like Michelle Kuan

or other superstars. For one I'm not Asian and two i need to be realistic. I gave seen some transitions that are eye poppongly wow but I'm not going to say I'm unhappy with myself unless I look like a super model.

[Jane's Sweet Refrain]

Good question. I find that my perception and whether I'm being realistic about it are always shifting. When I first began the process, I, like many, just wanted to pass to avoid what I thought at the time would be ridicule and danger if I did not (I've since learned that those are not realistic outcomes). Once I started passing and became attracted to men, I started dating. And now that I'm dating, I want to find a heterosexual partner to fall in love with who might also be a partner in raising my children. Am I being realistic? I have no idea. I think the only realistic thing is that I have no idea what the future will hold, and thinking that I do makes my world smaller.