A Mess

[lindagrl]

Hello AngieFerg.  Thank you for sharing your experience with me. It must have been very difficult for you going through that
for a whole year.  Happy for you that it all worked out in the end. i agree now, a doctor is a better choice.

i am trying to come to terms with never being allowed on HRT, because that´s the reality i am afraid. 
Get angry over that, that some people are going to decide for me if i am fit to be me.
Having massive regrets about having gone to the psychiatrist, feel like such a fool.  i woke up really sad this morning.
For the first time, i had real doubts if i should put on my female clothes today after my shower.  i did, but broke down while putting them on.

i have been full of fear of rejection and now that it happened i am not handling it. i got angry during the session and i saw how his
whole perception of me became really negative. There is nothing feminine about me when i am mad, am like a roaring tiger
and part of me likes intimidating folks when i feel that i am being judged.  i know that sounds crazy and maybe it is, but it´s my
only protection mechanism. i have to learn new ways befitting who i see myself as, linda.
When i calmed down a little, i begged him to strike my comments from his little book and he refused, giving
me the usual Oh i don´t share this with anyone, it won´t go on any file.  Yeah right. Feel like an idiot.
Everyone shares everything in this rotten country.

i did do something positive yesterday. Contacted a trans woman who heads the Trans Ísland community.  i was really nervous about it
but i had to do something, i can´t have it end like this.  Was pleased with how i expressed where i am at and what i am seeking,
to at least in some way move further closer to my chosen gender, that i am looking for possible options.
She is soft spoken and i felt comfortable chatting with her on the phone.
She invited me to attend a monthly meeting they will have on December 3 and i told her i would.  Am scared that i am going to blow it again,
that they will see something in me they don´t like and will reject me too.  Still i am going to attend, will give myself one more chance.

Wanted to post a pic of me (not face) but can´t figure out how to do it.  Help appreciated by some kind reader.

[Seras]

It is easy. You just have to upload a picture to a website. For example: http://postimage.org/

Then after you have uploaded it you can get the link and post it. To make it show up on the  post you make put the URL inside these tags:  ]img[THE URL]/img[
(obviously make the square brackets the opposite direction to how I out them, so the encase the text within them

Good luck at that meeting. Don't feel bad for your reaction to that psych though, nothing wrong with getting angry.

[lindagrl]

Good morning Seras, thank you for the help. i tried inserting an uploaded image into the post, but for some reason it does not show up.
Will upload some pics to postimage.org today and see if it works that way.

Thanks for wishing me luck, need it all the luck i can get.
OK i won´t be too hard on myself 

[lindagrl]

Can´t insert image, this will have to do.

http://postimg.org/image/f6y03ozdv/a3d851c2/

[Seras]

OK, so what you do is this:
Click on the image in that link so you get to a page with just the image. Copy the URL from that page and then put that inside the tags I described previously.

Cute skirt.

edit: sorted

[lindagrl]

OK, so what you do is this:

Click on the image in that link so you get to a page with just the image. Copy the URL from that page and then put that inside the tags I described previously.



Like so. Quote my post and look at the text to see what is typed. Cute skirt.

PS message me or post here if you want me to delete. It is your image. I just wanna help

Thank you Seras, no it´s fine i wanted to insert the image.
Am technologically challenged.
My wife altered that skirt, adding the red ruffles.  i like it too.