How did you know you were transgender?

[J441]

I mean I know a lot of people have clues in the past they can look back on.

But how did you know for sure?

[PinkCloud]

By going deep inside of myself, and do the soul searching work. Every question can be answered this way. After that it became clear: I knew that I was a woman, because I knew what I was not: a guy.

[Jessica Merriman]

In Therapy when someone else saw what I felt.

[JenniR04]

Like PinkCloud said and I agree, lots of deep soul searching. Mine was aided by therapy, but I realized and accepted myself in 2008 when I was driving down the road alone in my vehicle and it just hit me as I was deep in thought, probably deeper than I should have been considering I was driving. I had tears of joyous, relief, a ton of emotions. I just knew right then and there.

[Lostkitten]

I explored on a younger age, grew up, always felt uncomfortable tingles in my stomach with no specific reason and they made me wonder what was going on. A few years ago my life was perfect but I still felt like I was fighting a depression with huge mood swings.

When I gotten braces they told me I needed jaw surgery and the result was a nice masculine jawline. They showed me kind of what it would look like.. and I hated it.

I just started exploring. Changing clothes, behave as how I wanted to, letting my hair grow. I realized all of the changes were very feminine.

Eventually gender dysphoria started to kick in a little and I disliked being called a man. But having to tell someone, which is often asked when you are transgender here and in the hospital or some sort, to state that you are female, felt funny to me. Just being me, changing, developing and finally happy when I look at the mirror, or see myself at pictures (somewhat). Other than that I never thought about sex much, it didn't interest me before. So it never felt as if something was missing. It just always felt a little wrong, the exploring is the right step forward and even now I assume HRT will make me happier but I am not even sure.

I can't answer when I knew I was transgender because I still don't know. I just am doing what feels natural and assume/expect this is the right way because every change in this direction has felt so right already.

Boom, wall of text.

[Deborah]

I just knew when I was. 11.  I just didn't know what it was called or that there were any others.  I just thought I was weird.

Every night I prayed to wake up a girl.  Not really sure how I knew but I just did.


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[Ms Grace]

Deep, unyielding despair at being seen and treated as a male and the exclusion from womanhood and living as a female that entailed.

[Nicole]

Even though I just didn't feel right, I hated my penis, I hated boy things, I hated boy clothes and wanted to be like my cousins (all girls) I didn't know what was wrong.
After mum took me out of school (I've outlined why a few times here) I was watching day time TV and saw transgendered people, even though they were the freaky, scary, will trick guys ones it opened my eyes and I knew then.

[Sammy]

There was this weird tatoo on the side of my head - I had no idea it was there because it was covered by hair, but once I found it, everything clicked. There was another one as well, but that was not really important, just some random numbers (999).

[BlueGemFox]

For years I always knew I was different. when I was about 3 or 4 years old and my brother was in the toddler stage, I fondly remember asking my dad why my brother had the dangley bit and where I had lost mine when we were bathed together. Hitting primary school, I would always get into boys stuff. When I was in grade 3 or 4 I would always say that I was a boy yet I was wearing skirts and pig tails (due to being forced to), which caused a lot of bullying. I finally realized I was actually a FtM when I was around 13. By then i was wearing oversize mens clothes and tight bras in an attempt to hide my chest. and short boys haircuts. I was already being bullied as a lesbian at my school (which i kind of was at the time) But I had watched a tv show one time about a MtF and the issues and feelings I could relate to so much. I finally discovered what to call it and thats probably the time i fully realized I am Transgender

[Clhoe G]

To try n keep my story short

I knew since I was very young, like when I was 5, I had a Barbie n most of my primary school friends where girls, at the age of 5 or 6 I remember asking my mum where is my dolls willy, she replied girls ,don't have willys, which really upset me, she later took the doll of of me, I also dressed up as a girl in the dress up corner in kindagarden in a dress, straw hat n heels but the teacher pulled me a side n made me take it off, telling me that was wrong n giving me a toy tobacco pipe n a man's hat n explained to me how to play house.   

Later in life as I began to learn about things I found that some people have something against me expressing myself, especially in school
n growing up around the church, I repressed my feeling n became a very rebellions n angry teen, drinking n smoking weed n often getting in trouble by the police because of the people I tried to fit in with.

I lost all my friends that where girls near the end of primary school which was like loosing a peace of who I am

In puberty I felt myself aroused by boys, as much as I tried to like girls, but it just doesn't work like that

It took 23 long years before I found out about anything to do with a sex change, after a mental brake down that landed me in hospital, but that's what drove me to tell my mum about how I've always felt, leading me to search online for answers, n found myself imersed in a wealth of information like an addiction, my mum said she should have known from all the little things I did n became rather accepting of my choice to pursue my feelings n my life's greatest dreams.   

[FrancisAnn]

My first grade teacher said you are a boy!, you have to move to the other side of the room & sit with the boys. I was so upset. Later she said you are so nice & have really long eye lashes & you would have made such a beautiful little girl.

[KattMan]

I only figured it out 4 days ago. Lol! Id alwayz been so much more comfortable dressed as a boi since a kid. I grew to b a lesbian but wen puberty hit me it was all wrong. I kept thinkin god i wish i had a beard. I got jelly of this indian guy in my class with his FULL on beard at 15. My tits growing in sucked more. I never looked at my chest again for years. I only know wat trans is after meeting a transboi thru scool!

Give Free Love
Be Peaceful
Stay Outta Other's Business

[Jo-is-amazing]

Ive wanted to be a girl as long as I can remember. I remember when I was very little like 3 or 4 having a bath with a friend who is a cIs girl, and realised we were different, which really shocked me I thought we were the same until then. I noticed that both her and my mum had a scar under their knee a few years later (like 5)...and for some reason drew the link that if I gave myself a scar in the same place id be a girl...needless to say that did not go well     
...
I was first diagnosed with depression at 6 which was the age I realised I wouldn't be a girl and assigned that part of me to never ever dreams, like being a character in a movie or fairy tale, that it would never happen. Life  felt pretty bleak tbh
At 10 I hit puberty which was not fun, even less fun was 'the talk' when I realised just how different girls and boys are. I found out what trans was though and I knew that I was it which gave me so much hope
And from then it took me eight years to do anything so yay :p

[BlaineGame]

I think I had wanted to be a boy since puberty but it didn't hit me until I pretended to be a boy online. I got a deviantart account where I was male and realized I felt more comfortable as male than female. I'd had that male account since late July but it didn't hit me until August. It was like a switch went off in my head. I was no longer in denial. I guess my feelings showed when I was ready for them.

[LordKAT]

I didn't. I knew I was not what other people saw. It was confusing to put it lightly. I knew what I was and always wondered at their blindness.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

I'd often go through periods when I found myself thinking about my gender a lot, often as a result of a dischord between my feelings and my biological gender.  It didn't matter that these feelings were intermittent rather than constant because I recall a history of these feelings, characterised by wanting to be.  Thankfully when they do arise, they aren't very strong (though female exclusion bothers me more than normal).

[Brenda E]

I knew something was wrong from a fairly early age, but being trans was at the bottom of the list - actually, not even on the list to begin with.

First thoughts - this is what all guys feel.  Then perhaps I'm gay.  Maybe focusing on school and work would cure me.  Didn't work, so figured girls and marriage would straighten me out.  Nah.  Then thought it was depression, but meds didn't cure that.  Eventually there was nothing left other than being trans.

It's a shame I grew up in a time when being trans was completely outside the scope of acceptability, and when I had no access to the internet to help me find information about what I was going through.  I'd have found out who I was far earlier and not spent a couple of decades going down a very wrong path in life.

So for me, I guess it was a process of elimination.

[Kamiki]

At 6 I asked my mum if for my birthday I could become a princess for my present. Asked her if it meant I would be a girl for real. She FREAKED!!!

At 12 I chose to be a prostitute for Halloween because to quote myself, "I want to be pretty and have guys attracted to me."

At 14 I started stealing my mums lingerie.

At 16 I had a full female wardrobe and wigs.

At 19 I realized what it was that I was facing, transexualism/transgendered nature.

At 22 I began transitioning with HRT.

At 34 I am finally looking at having surgeries done by 35.

I guess it boils down to I always really knew, even when I did not know what it was I knew.

Kami

[Kaydee]

I had completely repressed the girl side of me.  This must have started at a real early age and so I was completely oblivious to the being transgender despite all the obvious signs.  At age 56 I was reading a forum thread with a title much like this one and found a number of posts by trans women, each talking about what it had been like before they discovered they were transgender.   They listed about 10 behaviors, fantasies and actions, including-

• cross dressing from an early age and throughout much of their lives  (I was an opportunistic dresser. If there were cloths and an opportunity, it was an unstoppable urge.)
• When seeing an attractive woman they seldom had sexual thoughts, but instead imagined what it might be like to be her, or to be dressed as she was.
• Played games with a female avatar
• no/little interest/success with sex with women.  Or just feeling uncomfortable that way.
• Finding sexual release only by imagining themselves the woman, rather than the guy.

When I finished reading the list I realized I shared almost all the traits they listed.  At that moment my view of who I was began to change and continued to change as I investigated my feminine side with the help of a gender counselor.

I should also mention that I had been struggling with depression, having trouble finding anything to interest myself - all my old interests falling away.  As I have begun to find out more about myself I have found a reason to go on with life and even, for brief moments, some happiness.

Now I look back at my life and wonder how I could not have known long ago.  The signs were everywhere and it is obvious that the gender issue has affected me all my life.