Two weeks until I leave for phallo attempt #3

[Roxanne]

Going to have TWO teams of doctors working on me in Serbia on Nov 12th.

Of course, still nervous that things go ok, but at least with this flap (graft) I had a CT scan done which didn't show any vascular anomalies like I had for my MLD phalloplasty attempts (for whatever reason the main arteries used in those two flaps are extra small for me).

Bye bye to having nice legs which sucks. At least with my MLD scars they are hidden by a tshirt. My ALT scars will be hidden by slacks or jeans of course, but not by shorts in the summer time. Oh well - worth it. I'd even do the fibula or forearm if I had no other choice (and I only wear short sleeved clothes, not counting sweaters in winter).

[FriendsCallMeChris]

Wishing the the best of luck and easy/fast healing!

Chris

[suzifrommd]

Good luck Roxanne. I'll send good thoughts your way.

[JLT1]

Good luck!

Hugs

Jen

[mrs izzy]

Best of luck.

Speed in healing.

[Roxanne]

Thanks all.

I should feel good but I actually feel terrible. I'm scared ___less about the prospect of it not working. I felt so good when I had initially met Miro and I knew that he agreed to fix me up, but ever since the first failure the thought has crossed my mind of NEVER being able to be fixed - and that's not something I could take. The only thing keeping me hanging on is hope.

I have no idea how I survived the first few years after SRS. Also I'm nearing the point of spending HALF my adult life in a state of regret from SRS, and it just gets worse and worse with time.

It's such a silly fear too as I had a CTA scan done on the vascular system of my legs which showed no problems. And I'll have two teams of doctors working on me.

[Bombadil]

I've never talked to you but I've read your posts about your situation and post-op regret. Good luck. I hope you can get healing.

[Roxanne]

Off to Europe tonight. Surgery soon.

[LilDevilOfPrada]

Goood Luck!

[Roxanne]

Barring a late failure, op = successful

Going to be quite awhile until full physical recovery though.

[mm]

great to hear everything is a success so far.  Keep us informed on how you are doing.

[Pikachu]

*hugs*

Great to hear that the surgery went well. Take gentle care while it heals.

[JLT1]

That is really good to hear.

It's been a while for you.  Keep us up to date.

Hugs,

Jen

[crowcrow223]

I genuinely want you to be happy, Roxanne. I'm sure we all do, we all know what it's like to detest our bodies...

I encourage you, regardless if the surgery is successful or not, to still be seeing a therapist

Good luck and speedy recovery!

[Roxanne]

Thanks Ladies and Gent

I'm stuck here for a few more days still, but I've been out of the hospital (everything turned out fine) and I'm so bored. Not that the hospital was fun either... but not allowed to go any further than the grocery store on the corner, no friends or family here... hell barely even speak any serbian besides hi yes no good day thank you etc. So sick of nothing to do but watching Netflix and playing video games and talking to my wife and mother on Skype. Can't wait to get home! Argh! Still over 4 more days here until I go home to the states.

[mrs izzy]

I am glad your doing good.

Boredom is temporary, health is a everyday event so take care of your health.

Happy hugs

[Roxanne]

I am glad your doing good.

Boredom is temporary, health is a everyday event so take care of your health.

Happy hugs

*hugs*

Yeah I know it's temporary and I know to not overdo things. The last thing I want is to get another skin graft because this one failed... and given that I've done virtually everything possible transition wise I've been through a lot of pain but that first bandage change on my skin graft was the worst. I cried and screamed so bad. The second bandage change involved crying and screaming too. Thankfully the third one was virtually painless.

Well I don't want to go through that again.

[MichaelJTritter]

I am glad you are doing well Roxanne

Regarding the post you made to me on TS, RFF was the best option for me due to my body type and scars are cool, I hope all works well for you.