such a conflicting dillema

[Ataraxia]

There's an issue that I've been a bit conflicted about for a while now. A while back, I came to the decision that I'm never getting FFS, because I won't need it in order to pass. But lately, I've been looking at some amazing FFS results that people have gotten, and it's amazing--even women who didn't need it to pass seem to get it, and it makes them look a lot prettier, more feminine, and most importantly, happier. Which makes me think, maybe even if people don't need FFS, they still might want it. And that's my dilemma: I won't need it, but I still might want it.

I just want to get some other people's opinion on this: would you get FFS even if you didn't need it to pass? Or do you see FFS as kind of an emergency measure that you should only take as a necessity?

[Megumi]

I'm in the same dilemma boat. Even as I detest saying the word I pass 100% in public even though I do get a lot of stares because I look and sound like any other tall amazon. I only know that because I have outted myself to strangers in safe situations and their reactions as I can honestly say are genuine where guess what they only saw me as a tall woman and would have never guessed in a million years that I happen to be transgender. Even so I am still self conscious about how I look, yeah womanhood of insecurity! but I still want to have FFS. The only reason why is I want to correct a few things I don't like about my own face, my hairline and brow bossing are my only issues but they don't effect my ability to pass at all and I'd leave it up to the surgeon to suggest any other options they'd think would be beneficial for me. My therapist thinks I should wait until I have the more important surgery done which is an every day issues where as my face isn't but every time I look in the mirror when I'm dressed and can't see my naked body all I can see are those two glaring issues on my face.

My honest opinion of FFS is this, if you really want to have it done and are 100% certain that this is the right thing for you to do with NO pressure from anyone what so ever then go for FFS. 

[stephaniec]

personally can't afford it

[Beth Andrea]

I need FFS, but if I didn't but saw something I didn't like (like my hooded eyes) I would get those done...granted, that's not full-blown FFS, but it is the least I could do and be happy.

I guess I'm saying get something done only if you're not happy with it*; and keep in mind that what works for others may not work for you.

*= I.e., the changing of a negative to a positive; don't change a positive into something "more" positive.

[Sunhawk]

I feel the same way. I only started HRT 30 days ago, and hope that I will have enough changes in my face that I won't need FFS, but I think that there will be a few features that I'm unsatisfied with. At least that will reduce the cost of surgery.

My therapist thinks I should wait until I have the more important surgery done

This is the decision I would like to have to make. To have enough of a change that I don't need to have FFS, but maybe want it.

[ErinS]

The only thing I *need* is my hairline lowered, but while he takes care of that I'm going to have Dr. Mayer do a little on my forehead, cheeks, nose, lips and chin. Besides the hairline the rest are 90-95% there, just a little subtle work to bring everything into harmony. I seriously thought once in the beginning I would need a lot of aggressive work, Now I realize I could probably get away without most of it but why not?

[Seras]

For me FFS is the most important surgery. So yes, even if I do not need it. I think it will have a valuable mental effect upon me. People say since I have been on HRT now for quite some time that I look pretty good but to myself I do not look all that different. So I hope it will help cause a break in perspective, when one day my face is radically different and will help me see it as different.

[Lostkitten]

Many don't need it at all. I have seen people on these fora look awesome, undoubtedly pass-able but even so they tell everyone they are ugly, hideous and need all kind of surgeries to really look feminine.

The women we look up to are not the ones you should even see as examples. If you got a big nose as an example you neither should look at a model with a tiny nose and wish you ever were here. It is as if everyone has the ideaal image of a woman in their head and they need to accomplish it. Even so we tell each other and the world by being transgender that being unique, ourselves is a good thing.

If you want it, well.. feel free to get it . I just don't understand why everyone wants to look perfect. If everyone looked like your ideaal image then big chance that the way you look now is the way everyone wanted to look. Because it would be different.

My opinion about FFS, I don't feel I need it. Even if it would make me prettier I would just rather look like close to myself.

[Julia-Madrid]

Interesting dilemma.  Before I had FFS I had an interestingly androgynous face, and I got some amusing male interest which I didn't expect, but I did need makeup to hide a slightly square jaw.  Most of my girlfriends insisted that the only thing I needed done was my Adam's apple.

OK, now, after quite a bit of FFS, I pass all the time, and while my face remains a little exotic (for Spain), I've lost the androgyny.  But, honestly I am absolutely content about how it's left me, and there is no doubt that it's given me a much greater peace of mind, and removed all of my insecurities that were face-related.

But let's be serious, it's major surgery, expensive too, and it's your FACE we're talking about -  the absoultely most fundamental part of your physical identity.  There are consequences to such invasive surgery, both in terms of a slow recovery time for some items, right through to potential nerve damage and loss of sensitivity. 

Riversong, you don't sound traumatised by your face, so I'd suggest you put it into the "maybe one day" category.  If you'd like an honest critique, why not pay the $150 that Alexandra Hamer of VirtualFFS charges to retouch some photos of you and, much more importantly, critique your features.  She really knows her stuff, and doesn't benefit from charging you for large amounts of unnecessary surgery.

Julia

[Clhoe G]

I'm extremely afraid of going under the knife but I probably would if I had the money to, I really would need much done tho, probably forehead reduction, rhino plasti, maybe a slight jaw shave n the bone around the side of the eyebrows shaved and an brow lift n maybe cheek bone implants

[Jessica_S]

I sometimes wonder if we are much more likely to go under the knife for cosmetic results than (the majority of) cis-women because we are resigned to surgery for other reasons anyway. The main hurdle of fear of being cut into (and of anaesthesia) has already been mentally crossed?

J

X

[Jenna Marie]

Cis women get plastic surgery to be prettier/younger, too.

I'm too much of a wuss about surgery (I knew going in GRS would be the only thing worth it to me, and so far nothing's changed my mind) that I don't think I'd want to mess with my face... but if I did, I'd look at it more like getting a facelift, and not feel guilty about it.  I obviously don't need FFS to blend in with cis women b/c I already do, but that doesn't mean I don't have a list of things I hate about my face and body, just like most women. And if cis women can spend money and risk surgery on "vanity" alone, why the heck can't we?

[mynees]

Apart from visable Adams apple, I don't have any masculine features on my face.. if something, I have some androgynous features, like barely visible brow bossing, slightly hooded eyes, and a little bigger nose which destroys my facial harmony. However after 14 months of HRT, I don't just "pass", I blend in 100% without wearing any make-up, and get gendered correctly despite being almost 6ft tall, even when wearing male/androgynous clothes (due to the fact I still have some unfinished business with facial hair and I feel really uncomfortable around those days).
I'm having FFS in something like 5 weeks, and I'm obviously not doing it because I need it to become "passable", as I have zero problem with this. I'm in my 20s, and I want to have some things corrected now, and I'm doing it for noone else, but for myself. I'm doing this because I need to stop any left regret I still have about not starting hormones before puberty, and because I simply want to erase any damage done by testosterone. I'm having forehead reconstuction, orbital remodeling, hairline correction in corners, brow lift, rhinoplastly, chin and jaw remodeling to slightly emphasize V shape, small chin implant/or sliding genioplasty to improve chin projection, trachea shave and malar cheek implants with medpor. I guess you can call this full FFS.

[PinkCloud]

Whenever I get the urge, I simply remind myself that nobody cares if I have FFS. That is a reality check, because everyone only cares about themselves. The only person who will notice and care is YOU. So do YOU want it, or are you doing it for the outside world who doesn't care anyway? Every time my answer to this question is: I think I don't need to do it for myself.

[Athena]

Do what you need to feel happy. If you eventually feel that ffs is needed then you can always get it then.

[suzifrommd]

No FFS for me. I'd love to look as beautiful as those women that do it, but I've assaulted my body enough.

[Foxglove]

Your face, your choice, as far as I'm concerned.  But as they say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." And my face ain't so broke that it needs any fixing.  I get by as it is.  That's good enough for me.

[TSJasmine]

If you don't need it, then just add it to the "Maybe one day" list.

[sam79]

I'm actually quite surprised at the number of women here who are opting for aggressive or considerable FFS even though they admit it's not about passing... I wasn't really expecting that. 

In a very short time, I will be going under the knife too.  I've opted to fix the only two things that are out of balance, my nose and chin. And yes, they can give me away sadly. When I was considering all of this, there was a definite temptation to go further and change some of the smaller things that don't really affect my passing. But then I realise that it's almost pointless to me. I will never be 'pretty', and that is fine. Nor are other women in my family.

So what is important to me?  The answer, passing. In some ways it's easier without the vanity. I'm perfectly content to be able to blend in 100%, which I more or less do now sans the two issues I have.

[ErinS]

I honestly think quite a few women get way too aggressive with FFS, and it results in a visually attractive face no longer in sync with their body.

I'm hitting quite a few areas, but it's going to be subtle refinement and I will still look like myself. Already going to be under for the hairline, might as well tweak some.