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Treated differently by women...!

Started by MelissaAnn, November 20, 2014, 03:46:19 PM

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MelissaAnn

I was always jealous of the way women greeted each other and the way they treated each other. I always liked the way women would go up to each other and hug each other when they get together or just saying hi to each other. I recently came out to a bunch of my female friends, and I'm now finding that I'm being treated much differently. When I see them. They come up and hug me and asked me how I'm doing how everything is going. They want to offer me tips on makeup, fashion, shoes and hairstyles. After 51 years of poisonous T running through my veins, this is quite a unique experience for me because as a man, I was never approached like this, other than with SO's. It's like I've been handed a membership to an exclusive club or something. It's hard to explain but their perception of me is quite different, and it's very noticeable to me. I'm not complaining, mind you, I'm enjoying every second of it. Have any of you other girls out there experience this also? If so, I'd love to hear your stories.

Much love,

Melissa Ann

Luna Star

I was about to make a tread about this exactly, you lil'... :p

And yes btw, but I am not out the closet looks wise.
And mainly it is still guy treatment, but better
(Once tho a friend told me that I was a nice caring guy unlike the other guys,reminded her I am not one to begin with. Answer:Ya but still, you are a caring dude)
:(

I'm side tracking.For guys however... I either get treated like a guy or a "special case", it annoys me.
Luna, the poet and the digital artist.

Pleased to meet you ;)
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Eva Marie

A membership to an exclusive club is a good description. The other night I was standing in a checkout line at the grocery. The female checker eventually noticed me standing behind some other people in line and her whole bearing changed. She gave me a smile and greeted me nicely when it was my turn. The men in front of me did not get that treatment lol.....


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Jess42

Quote from: MelissaAnn on November 20, 2014, 03:46:19 PM
I was always jealous of the way women greeted each other and the way they treated each other. I always liked the way women would go up to each other and hug each other when they get together or just saying hi to each other. I recently came out to a bunch of my female friends, and I'm now finding that I'm being treated much differently. When I see them. They come up and hug me and asked me how I'm doing how everything is going. They want to offer me tips on makeup, fashion, shoes and hairstyles. After 51 years of poisonous T running through my veins, this is quite a unique experience for me because as a man, I was never approached like this, other than with SO's. It's like I've been handed a membership to an exclusive club or something. It's hard to explain but their perception of me is quite different, and it's very noticeable to me. I'm not complaining, mind you, I'm enjoying every second of it. Have any of you other girls out there experience this also? If so, I'd love to hear your stories.

Much love,

Melissa Ann

I really thought this was gonna' be a negative thread. Not so much negative though. Congrats.

I really don't know because I've always had more female friends than male.
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katrinaw

Love the girl greetings and "sharing" of idea's... hate the male greeting and discussions... Can't wait to make it to the exclusive club  :icon_love:

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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TSJasmine

I'd say they treat me like one of them lol Nothing more, nothing less :p Plus, I'm a friendly, talkative person. I went to an office today & me & the receptionist were talking about makeup & serums lol I think I actually forgot what it was ever like to be a "boy" honestly.
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Indoctrinated

Quote from: katrinaw on November 20, 2014, 06:55:25 PM
Love the girl greetings and "sharing" of idea's... hate the male greeting and discussions... Can't wait to make it to the exclusive club  :icon_love:

L Katy
Same to me! Nowadays I find myself more inclined to talk about clothing and even chocolate than anything technical.
"Freedom, I must say,
Exists within unconditioned minds"

Dead Can Dance - Indoctrination (A Design for Living)
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judithlynn

Hi;
Yes like Eva Marie, I have found that  it really is like being in a different club. Some 25 years ago before I moved to Australia, I lived full time (as port of my Real Life transition). I was on HRT then too and I worked for what is now a UK Bank, but then a UK Building Society. There Head office was in Bletchley, near Milton Keynes. I started in the Accounts Department as a part time Secretary Receptionist, but eventually got promoted into a job as a full time secretary to their in house Legal counsel (a woman). All my fellow co-workers in Accounts were women and  on tea breaks, coffee breaks, lunch times even after work, I was treated totally as just one of the girls, in all conversations. What amazed me then was just how much cis women discuss their intimate sex lives, periods, boyfriends partners.. I had confided in two women there , but it was almost as though I had been inducted into secret women's business club. It was the same with my next door neighbour - Maggie. She introduced me to a group of her girlfriends who met for dinner at a local pub and then  get together in the evenings. Maggie had explained before that I was TS and we'll underway with my transition, including living full time as a woman and on HRT. At first they were a little curious, but by the second time out, I was just treated as one of a group of women friends. They always commented on how nice I looked, my dress sense and how nice a bag was or a pair of heels All the talk was about boyfriends, sex, fashion, makeup, guys film stars) romantic holidays, men, babies etc. I loved every minute of it. The important thing was that once the other women had got over their initial interest, I was just treated totally as another woman with no holds barred. Maggie once said if I was brave enough to go full time, dress and work full time as s a women, take female hormones and eventually have surgery to create a woman's vulva, clitoris and vagina, I should be totally treated as a woman and  someone that had  seriously abandoned the male privileged world and should be embraced by all feminists! Sadly she moved to San Jose in California and I lost touch with her!
JudithLynn
:-*
Hugs



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Skeptoid

I've never noticed much of a difference in the way my friends of either gender treat me. I suppose that goes with being part of the young/nerdy crowd.
"What do you think science is? There's nothing magical about science. It is simply a systematic way for carefully and thoroughly observing nature and using consistent logic to evaluate results. Which part of that exactly do you disagree with? Do you disagree with being thorough? Using careful observation? Being systematic? Or using consistent logic?" --Dr. Steven Novella
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Jess42

Quote from: katrinaw on November 20, 2014, 06:55:25 PM
Love the girl greetings and "sharing" of idea's... hate the male greeting and discussions... Can't wait to make it to the exclusive club  :icon_love:

L Katy

I really wouldn't call it "exclusive" more than inclusive. Oh yeah, I hate all the male stuff too.
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Wild Flower

Females generally treat me in this regard after knowing me... but males treat me better at the moment.

But Im a guy who looks like a guy... older women like me the best follow by pretty women. Its the average female who tends to be intimidated the most.
"Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets."
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Eva Marie

Quote from: Wild Flower on November 20, 2014, 11:45:04 PM
... but males treat me better at the moment.

The guys at work treat me entirely different now. There is a softer, kinder note to their voices; they greet me warmly, they try to help me carry things, and the crude guy talk I used to hear every once in a while has been MIA. The fact that i'm sprouting boobs and a butt has probably caused some weird feelings for them too I imagine, with them knowing how I used to look and that i'm pre-op and yet..... and yet.....  :laugh:
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Tori

Yeah,

Men AND women act differently around me now.

I have not lost male friends exactly, I mean guys don't tend to socialize quite as much. They do seem less likely than before, to hang out with me. I am sure it is partly because I am trans and partly because I am female. The main thing, after a LOT of thought, is I have denied my masculinity and that just does not compute to even the most tolerant of men.

It does compute with women. I have several new girl friends now. I get to get drinks with the ladies. We talk on the phone. We go shopping. We hug. We cry. We gossip. We listen. It is weird, it is a whole new way to socialize but, I like it.

I have not lost many friends (I lost far more when I was dysphoric).


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katrinaw

Quote from: Jess42 on November 20, 2014, 11:08:54 PM
I really wouldn't call it "exclusive" more than inclusive. Oh yeah, I hate all the male stuff too.

Yeah, but Just seems like that currently, but working on it

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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Dee Marshall

Even though I still present male, I see the treatment, too. I think some of it is that I've become more  outgoing. I don't currently have any male friends, haven't for years, just a few male acquaintances. The ones that are in the know treat me like one of the girls, The best of them all is my (hopefully) daughter-in-law-to-be. She had been a lesbian, tried the bi thing, and had just given up on men for good when she met my son. They clicked and now live together. When I came out to her she told me that now she understood my son. There relationship works because he was raised by two women. She can't wait to take me shopping! Can't teach me makeup, though, she never wears it. I ended up giving HER tips.
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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JulieM

And maybe at parties now I'll be able to stay with the girls and not be dragged off with the boys (or viewed with suspicion and obviously inhibit the conversation if I stay with the women). If I have to listen to talk about the Cowboys or freaking lawnmowers again I'm going to lose it...
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Foxglove

I was just thinking today how many women I've met in recent times.  I go into the cafĂ© and see one woman I know and she introduces me to one or two others I didn't know.  My acquaintances are mushrooming at this point.  I myself am convinced that women have more of a sisterhood than men have of a brotherhood.  It used to be I'd be all on my lonesome.  It's not like that any more.  One advantage of being a woman: you see more friendly (female) faces wherever you go.

And today a guy held a door for me.  I know a lot of girls don't like chivalry, but I'm cool with it myself.
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Allyda

I'm just treated like one of the girls by those I meet and friends and neighbors. This began nearly 6 years ago when I was forced to go full time due to male fail. To me it's a wonderful thing to finally belong.

I've never really had many male friends tho. I just never fit in no matter how hard I tried. And I spent long enough trying. Now I don't have to try any more and I'm just accepted. It feels so wonderful and even after 6 years it never gets old. Weekly get togethers and girl talk sessions, and just visits. After so many years of feeling outcast it's been a welcome change not to have to try so hard anymore. Now I fit in just being myself, who I've always been. And now that my outside much better matches my inside well, I don't have to describe to y'all how wonderful that is. I'm finally living though I do have one more thing to get fixed. And once my private parts re fixed and I'm finally whole maybe I'll finally find my special someone to spend the rest of my life with and have a normal relationship -if she's out there that is, lol!

Ally :icon_flower:
Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



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mac1

I occasionally meet a gal who offers to give me a hug but that is rare. I enjoy that when it happens. However, I am reluctant to offer to hug the gals. As far as hugging a guy, forget it.
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Polina

Somehow girls tend to be more intimate and trusting to each other)))
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