Another "I'm sure now"-thread... kinda

[Pia Bianca]

I know, my texts tend to be loooong. Find a TL;DR at the end, if you don't want to hit a wall of text.

I know I'm not a very regular visitor to this forum. In fact I'm hiding most of the time.

But... I just did some experiments on my own. When being female first came across my mind I was fantasizing about being abducted. I dreamt to be female and helpless. Later on it went sexually as I experienced my first orgasm while roleplaying to be held captive.

Years later I visited this forum by accident. I questined myself if I could be transsexual or not. I wasn't sure and neither was any of you. (I don't blame nobody for that except myself.)

Female clothes were kinda connected to sexual arousal for myself. I wasn't sure if it is a fetish or transsexualism. Trying to cure the former with HRT and SRS will obviously fail while not curing the latter might hurt a lot.

I am loving girls and nothing else. I can't feel anything for boys; I'm as sure with that as I can be right now, knowing that this might change with HRT and SRS. But I enjoy giving ->-bleeped-<-s to my new dildo. It arouses me a lot as does pain. That's just the way it works for me. I also enjoy anal with my dildo.

I was very eager to find out if wearing female clothes is connected to arousal. But I found out by accident. If I masturbate in male clothes first and change clothes afterwards, I'm still enjoing the clothes and feel aroused, but not in a sexual way. I'm able to wear the female clothes for very long without feeling any urge to masturbate or be sexually active in any other way.

I'm very sexually active. I could enjoy sex on a daily basis if I had any chance to do so. Being alone and all for myself seems to trigger my sexual arousal. But when I'm not alone for very long, my urge to wear female clothes becomes stronger. So whenever I was wearing female clothes it was when I was all alone for the first time for quite a bit...

TL;DR
I found out that when I wear female clothes after masturbation, it feels just right without arousing me.

What do you think? Might sexual arousal in female clothes be just a coincidence?

[Veronica M]

Hey there,
As to the what do you think, it is really hard to tell from your post, but I will try to explain it from what my experience has been. At eight years old I knew something wasn't right, as I liked doing girl stuff even at that age. Puberty was a nightmare and then I spent many years trying to bottle up the obvious.

One thing I would say is there is a big difference between sexual pleasure and gender dysphora... As to the sex, my theory is if it works for you do it. Including dressing up... Myself I am bi-sexual and tend to lean to the male attraction. That said, I have been in a wonderful relationship with a great lady for twenty plus years and we are very active sexually.

I think the thing to remember here is being transgender and fulfilling a sexual fantasy are completely different from each other. If you feel you are female then seek therapy and follow the path to transition. If not, continue fulfilling your sexual desires... Pretty simple actually, but do keep the two separate as there is a big difference.

Hugs
Veronica

[Pia Bianca]

Pretty simple actually, but do keep the two separate as there is a big difference.

Yeah exactly. Since I'm very active regarding sexuality, it's not that easy unfortunately. As soon as I'm all alone I start being sexually active. Sometimes it's just caressing myself, sometimes it's hours of masturbation.

I never felt the urge to dress in female clothes after the urge to do sexual "things" faded away. But since I just tried it, I realized that female clothes feel right even if I'm not sexually aroused at all.

Today I experienced my first steps in wearing female clothes in the public. I did so in the past, but was watched out that nobody was watching me. This time I went to the supermarket but was only wearing female underwear. Nevertheless it just felt great (in a non-sexual way)!

[LizMarie]

This is where I am going to suggest a therapist with extensive training in gender dysphoria and sexuality issues. You may or may not be trans. You may or may not have some fetish. You may or may not be both or neither, and from where we sit, we can't really tell. But I'd say you appear to have multiple issues going on and need to sort them all out before you leap to any conclusion.

[Pia Bianca]

You may or may not have some fetish.

I most assuredly do have a fetish. And as soon as I got the guts to make an appointment, I'll see a gender therapist... Until then I'll try to sort things out as best as I can. The more I sort out beforehand, the less to do with the gender therapist, right?

Okay, just another excuse. But still... I don't have the guts to make the call.