I'm not FTM or MTF, I was born biologically female and I love men. I moved out of my home a few years ago and I regret it.
Please bare with me --- I want to understand as much as possible about Transgenders, you'll understand why when you keep reading.
My younger brother had a very unusual child hood, he'd always want to do whatever I was doing or sleep in my room. I viewed nothing of it other than him wanting to hang out with his older sister. But when he reached age 10 he became really depressed and often spoke about gender differences and I recall him saying "I don't want to be a boy", he was crying. My Mother put it down as something upsetting him at school. She contacted the school and he was picked on for wanting to play with some girls, but that's it.
My mother grew really concerned for him, and so did I. When he was 12 I moved out of the house - I called up once in a while to check in on him and he sounded worse and worse every time. My mother told me that she caught him dressing up in some of my old clothing and she began to get seriously worried. He eventually stopped going to school and cried almost everyday. My father was an ass and told him to "stop crying and be a man". Though, I didn't realize how much this affected him at the time because I was clueless, I didn't know he was a Transgender, I just thought my father was an ass because here he is breaking down and crying and all my father can say is "get off your ass"?
I now realize though how offensive those words must have been to him. Telling him to "be a man" or "man up" or to "grow a pair". I can only imagine what was going through his mind. I spoke to him a couple of months ago on the phone and he confessed that he wants to get a sex change --- I have never heard someone in so much pain before, I could literally feel it on my end of the phone. I wanted to cry as well because I love him to bits. I don't want to hear him suffering. He said he needed me more than ever, but I told him I was busy with work all week.
A couple of days later I got a call that my brother was in hospital because he tried to kill himself. I told my boss the situation and rushed straight to the hospital. When I got there I was in tears. If only I had taken some time off work - he may have been alright still. He never woke up. I'm furious with my parents for not taking his problems more seriously.
They tried to make him play more sports, dress more boyish and was furious with him when he took interest in my stuff. He would still be alive RIGHT NOW if I hadn't left home or if my parents weren't a bunch of complete morons!!
I'm not sure why I came to this forum considering that this won't bring him, or should I say, her back.
I'm not too sure, I guess I just wanted to vent, and perhaps learn more about her.
