Depressed.

[CrazyDiam0nd]

Well I guess it was inevitable, but I've been feeling kinda down lately. When I first came to terms with how I wanted to transition to become a woman I felt great and liberated but now I just feel cowardly and afraid to make the next move. Its like I have no guts, every oppertunity I get to tell someone or try and get help with therapy, and feminizing myself more, I just kinda cower back into my shell and back down. It sucks, and I can't figure out how to muster enough courage to move forward...especially when its just me, no one there to help me. I've even started ciggarettes again...which isn't that big of a deal since I can quit them easily once again as soon as tomorrow. Its just that shows a sign of stress, and I'm just feeling really unhappy lately. Anybody have any advice or help they lend me?

[LostInTime]

Have you been seeing a therapist?

Everything about us comes down to cycles. A human being will not remain locked in happy mode once it is reached. It is typical to have various thoughts along the way. The trick is discovering what is right for you and only you can decide that.

Take some steps back for a bit, find something you enjoy, and do it. I often find that not thinking about something directly is a great way to get some serious thinking done.

[Steph]

Well I guess it was inevitable, but I've been feeling kinda down lately. When I first came to terms with how I wanted to transition to become a woman I felt great and liberated but now I just feel cowardly and afraid to make the next move. Its like I have no guts, every oppertunity I get to tell someone or try and get help with therapy, and feminizing myself more, I just kinda cower back into my shell and back down. It sucks, and I can't figure out how to muster enough courage to move forward...especially when its just me, no one there to help me. I've even started ciggarettes again...which isn't that big of a deal since I can quit them easily once again as soon as tomorrow. Its just that shows a sign of stress, and I'm just feeling really unhappy lately. Anybody have any advice or help they lend me?

It would seem that the first question that you need to ask yourself is "Am I TS?", as there is enough uncertainty in your post that may suggest otherwise.  That being said your first step before anything else is to seek professional help.  Find a therapist (a gender therapist if possible) and discuss your issues/feelings with them, then based on this you would be in a better position to determine your next step.

As you are posting in this forum I suspect that you feel that you are TS, and often our feelings are correct but when dealing with TSism I believe that it's prudent to get a diagnosis from professionals, if nothing else but to get a second, professional opinion.  It would be up to you to the take the next step as you deem appropriate, and I would recommend that a next step would be to form a plan/timetable and gather information that should include seeking an MD and together with the therapist move forward.

Steph

[CrazyDiam0nd]

I dont think its an issue that I am doubting myself or my thoughts, its more that I am having trouble building the courage to move forward or tell anyone. I want to see a therapist badly and begin letting my feelings out, the trouble with that is I have to get around my parents, friends, ect to do so. I'm trying to figure out a way to maybe begin therapy in more of a private way... so that no one else knows my situation. I want to let people know eventually, but not before I get advice or counseling from a professional to help me down that path. I think the depression is coming from frustration, and thats understandable I suppose it was inevitable.

While on the topic of therapy, does anyone have any experiences with Dr. Bushong? Or know where he is located? From his website I am getting the impression that he just does over the phone appointments...