so done with doctors f-ing me over

[sebster]

2-3 GPs did their best not to be helpful? Now, my long time therapist is doing all he can to avoid writing me a surgery letter. I have a time limit! I need that effing letter in two weeks, and I can't get him to spend 2 minutes signing a letter for me. His first excuse was that he wasn't "qualified"--- which he was--- and when I informed him of that he said he'd get to me by email or phone within a day and now it has been 2 weeks and I am foaming at the mouth. I thought he was a good person. I can't get to another therapist in 2 weeks or even 2 months because of my stupid insurance and the fact that every therapist is booked for the next 6 months. I NEED this surgery. I can't be missing school. I'm absolutely heartbroken, appalled, and frantic.

The surgeon and the insurance company both need a letter or I can't get the procedure done. I've been waiting YEARS for this, and now that's all going to be snatched away because some bigoted, incompetent, SOB couldn't find it in his heart to give me his signature. I'm languishing without top surgery. Every time I look down and see my flaccid dugs, I am reminded of the fact that physically I'm so far from being the man I want to be, and it makes me physically ill. 

I WILL NOT SURVIVE WITHOUT TOP SURGERY SOON. I will cut the damn things off myself with a meat cleaver. I am so done. So so so done. I feel like walking into his office and lighting myself on fire to express my discontent. Maybe this means I'm not mature enough to get surgery. Well, you know what? I've wanted it for SO LONG that it has turned me into this twisted, disgusting excuse for a man. I'm this close to just ending it if I don't get the okay for top surgery. The dysphoria is absolutely crippling.

How is it that every doctor I've seen IN LIBERAL CALIFORNIA has been an effing bigot? How is it that they're so hateful and uneducated that they'd let me die rather than get me the surgery I need? I seem stable on the surface. My demands have been polite. But, I've been polite for the last decade, and that hasn't gotten me any further along in my transition. These people should not be allowed to call themselves doctors. They're sadistic.

[Stephe]

Stop being polite. Go camp out in his waiting room and MAKE him explain to you, to your face, why he refuses to sign your surgery letter. If he does, explain how you are fed up with his bigotry, he should have explained that he has a problem with trans people long ago before he milked thousands of dollars out of you and the next contact will be from your attorney. And then sue him. These gate keepers need to be held accountable for abusing people based on their prejudice.

[sebster]

Stop being polite. Go camp out in his waiting room and MAKE him explain to you, to your face, why he refuses to sign your surgery letter. If he does, explain how you are fed up with his bigotry, he should have explained that he has a problem with trans people long ago before he milked thousands of dollars out of you and the next contact will be from your attorney. And then sue him. These gate keepers need to be held accountable for abusing people based on their prejudice.

You are completely right. This is exactly what I'm going to do. Now, I just need to have the letter completed by tomorrow. Any advice on how to draft a letter for the insurance company/surgeon that the therapist will only have to sign?

[Stephe]

There may be good "draft" examples online? I had a letter for my orchi and it was fairly detailed about why she felt I was ready. I know it will need all the stuff like his name, any numbers assigned to him by the state and what state he is legally allowed to practice in and MUST be on his letterhead.

[FTMax]

I have always referenced Ethan's site here whenever I encounter professionals who don't know what I need them to know. He's also been very generous in posting his letters online.

Here is the link to his top surgery letter:
http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/chestsurgery/chestletter.html

And his T letter:
http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/testosterone/ttletter.html

And 2 bottom surgery letters:
http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/bottomsurgery/bottomletter.html
http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/bottomsurgery/bottomletter2.html

Hope these help!

[sebster]

I have always referenced Ethan's site here whenever I encounter professionals who don't know what I need them to know. He's also been very generous in posting his letters online.

Here is the link to his top surgery letter:
http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/chestsurgery/chestletter.html

And his T letter:
http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/testosterone/ttletter.html

And 2 bottom surgery letters:
http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/bottomsurgery/bottomletter.html
http://www.ftmtransition.com/transition/bottomsurgery/bottomletter2.html

Hope these help!

Thank you! I'll definitely use these for reference!

[FTMax]

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

[Susan522]

What if your therapist feels that you are not ready or, he/she actually is not qualified to write said letter?  What would be the grounds for your lawsuit?

[Stephe]

What if your therapist feels that you are not ready or, he/she actually is not qualified to write said letter?  What would be the grounds for your lawsuit?

If they told the patient on the front end they are a gender therapist, and then years and thousands of dollars later say they aren't qualified to make a call on a gender related issue. Why were they charging for treatment in a field they are not qualified in? Sounds like grounds for a lawsuit to me.

[Susan522]

Who knows what said.  Usually here is some written agreement.

[Stephe]

Who knows what said.  Usually here is some written agreement.

In another thread on this same topic the OP said "The psychiatrist I've been seeing for a decade said he wasn't qualified to write me a surgery letter. By phone AND email, I informed him that he was qualified (because he is), but when I tried to get in contact with him after that they just put me on indefinite hold. Earlier in the week (after I told him through a secretary that he is qualified and emailed him like he asked), they said he'd call or email me back WITHIN A DAY, it has been two weeks now, and still not a peep out of him."

I would think, seeing this therapist for a DECADE, the therapist would have discovered the OP was trans and if they was NOT qualified to treat a transgendered patient, why did they continue to do so? There are some therapists who want the cash from TG patients but just have no intention of ever writing a letter.

[Jill F]

In another thread on this same topic the OP said "The psychiatrist I've been seeing for a decade said he wasn't qualified to write me a surgery letter. By phone AND email, I informed him that he was qualified (because he is), but when I tried to get in contact with him after that they just put me on indefinite hold. Earlier in the week (after I told him through a secretary that he is qualified and emailed him like he asked), they said he'd call or email me back WITHIN A DAY, it has been two weeks now, and still not a peep out of him."

I would think, seeing this therapist for a DECADE, the therapist would have discovered the OP was trans and if they was NOT qualified to treat a transgendered patient, why did they continue to do so? There are some therapists who want the cash from TG patients but just have no intention of ever writing a letter.

This is true.  I know people who have seen therapists who basically dangled the letter like a carrot on a stick.  Some therapists see a transgender patient and just see dollar signs in their eyes and a cash cow that is never to be taken to slaughter. 

[Susan522]

This is true.  I know people who have seen therapists who basically dangled the letter like a carrot on a stick.  Some therapists see a transgender patient and just see dollar signs in their eyes and a cash cow that is never to be taken to slaughter.

I am not arguing this point, (and it is unfortunate), but my unanswered questions stand.