Hello everyone. I used to visit here as a guest for a few years and then finally registered as a member about a year ago. Well, I guess I wasn't very active in the forums and got purged. So I'm back again, hopefully a little longer this time around.
A little bit about me...I'm Canadian. From a very young age I knew I was different from all the other boys. I prefered to be around girls and wanted to be one of them. I envied their long hair, their frilly dresses and their toys (dolls, china sets, etc). I would sometimes pray when I went to sleep that I would wake up as a girl. Eventually I realized that this wasn't going to happen and tried to fit into the role of a male. Does this sound familiar? For a time I was able to bury those feelings. Marriage & kids came along. Then a few years ago those feelings came back...with a vengeance. And then I found the internet and realized I wasn't alone out there. I bought clothes and started dressing again. I even came out to my wife who had a difficult time with it. It hasn't been easy but we're still together. As for where I belong in the TG spectrum...I'm probably transexual but haven't been to a gender therapist yet. And I'm not sure if I ever will go to one. Like many of us who have families, there would be too much to lose if I were to come out full time and consider transitioning (wife is the only one who knows). So we take things one day at a time. I get time to be Monika whenever the kids are not at home. It's nowhere near enough time for me, but it's a compromise that we've been able to live with.
Well that's where I am now. For now it's working. Who knows what the future will bring. I'm looking forward to meeting many of you in the chat room. And this time around I'll be a little more active with the posts in the forum
Hugs & kisses,
Monika
