Maybe you're just seeing things more clearly now. That's how I see it. When I was in a shell of a male identity many years ago, I made the decision to come out at work and the "guys" seemed to want to push me around but couldn't because I was a valued worker. Of course, I followed the process of coming out as gay and then the process of coming out to myself as transgender was something I had to do with myself. Now that I am okay inside, I just be who I am and avoid all the negative stuff my real and true senses tell me are there. Nothing ever completely exists in our heads, IMO. Peace.