Voice Dysphoria

[ChrissyChips]

Ok, well this is one I didn't expect.  The only times in the past I've really hated my voice was when I could hear myself slip into that horrid male monotone.
But today I've been practising my female voice, I haven't had much chance to practice but I seem to be getting better really fast, it feels so natural to me.

So after about 3 hours wandering round the house doing chores and talking to myself constantly, I decided to rest my voicebox and slip back to male mode...............UGH!!! OMG! it was HORRIBLE!!!!! I HATE it!!!!! lol

It felt soooooo wrong, everything about it, the sound, the vibrations in my chest...just WRONG!  So I quickly went back to female and felt instant relief.

I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced that?

[Ms Grace]

Oh yes. Yes indeed!

[ImagineKate]

My voice is causing me major discomfort. It doesn't help that I am reluctant to practice because I have this stupid cold I need to get over (got it from the flu shot).

[angie]

my voice causes this everyday I feel like it's the last missing piece to being able to transition full time and be happy with myself and feel confident

[ImagineKate]

I can't lapse back even at 3 am. my vocal chords are pretty much adapted to the higher range and stuck there

I so wish I could be there, especially without surgical intervention.

[ChrissyChips]

I'm sure you'll get there kate I've heard even the deepest of voices sound great.  I've always been good at accents and impressions so I don't know if that's helped me at all.  I mean I'm a loooong way from being happy with my voice but I have improved enough to at least give me the confidence that I'll nail it in the end

[Gothic Dandy]

Wow, you're right! I do have mild voice dysphoria sometimes. It's the other way around, though. I sound like a chipmunk or an anime girl. I have to put in effort not to sound that way. I'm worried that even after T, I'll still just have a husky woman voice and won't be able to pass. I've been trying to practice speaking from my chest, but it's really hard after all that life spent training my brain to speak a certain way.

[fitzyfoop]

Yay! Voice dysphoria sucks, largely as my voice is extremely deep and I'd probably never pass

[rachel89]

I know the feeling. I haven't started voice training yet, and the more I hear myself talk the i hate myself.

[fitzyfoop]

fear leads to hate
hate leads to anger
anger leads to the Dark Side .

train you must
agonize you must not.

Made my day, that did

[ChrissyChips]

Fitzy, don't worry about how deep your voice is, plenty of cis women have deeper voices. It's less about the pitch than it is the resonance IMO.
There are so many voice feminisation courses and tutorials around and it can seem a bit daunting at first. Personally I looked at how the throat works, what pitch frequencies I can reach easily.  Basically I took the bits I found useful from a few different sources and adapted them to what works for me, now it's just a case of constant practice

Keep working at it, you'll be amazed what you can achieve

Hugs

[ImagineKate]

train hard, fight easy

Part of me says train. The other part says leave my voice alone before I damage my vocal cords and just go to Yeson or Dr Haben.

In any case I'm going to find out if I'm even eligible for Yeson and going that route. Can't risk my voice outing me in some places. I go to the deep south and the Caribbean and it's a safety issue.

[LoriLorenz]

I have always hated the way I sound in recordings. As a voice student in college (trained for operatic and choral singing) I had to record my training sessions and practice. Listening tp those was really rough, and we HAD to listen to them. My voice is the sad result of female genetics combined with deaf-voice that's been trained to speak. As it is I have trouble hearing myself, let alone adjusting to a lower vocal range, though I would LOVE to have a deeper resonance voice, or at least a voice more atuned (pardon the puc) to belter vocals. Right now I am the high flute voice that flies over everything... at least if I go about as Male, I could say I'm a counter-tenor?

Don't overdo your training, but def keep at it in moderation, and keep those pipes wetted.

[Trillium]

Yep, I don't think my female voice is that good yet but I've yet to have my gender mistaken from my voice so it's doing the trick. I still slip back now and then and I hate it, my whole demeanor just drops and I'm guaranteed to have a good sob, whether there and then or later.