Struggle with gender dysphoria

[Jessicuhh]

Hi all,
I've used this forum as a great resource and it's been such a huge help. Lately I was dealing with a great dose of gender dysphoria where I really began to question my gender identity. I'm currently 21 and have had a bit of a kink since day 1. I thought of being a girl since I was very little. However when I hit puberty this began to be a source of arousal to me. So I would cross dress and a sort of thrill and excitement but at the same time it just made me feel right inside. Over time the arousal started taking more of a back seat and I noticed as of lately a different feeling. A feeling I can most closely associate with gender dysphoria of some sort. I began doing a bunch of research on the topic of ->-bleeped-<- and I have learned a lot. I've done some soul searching to begin to find out who I really am on the inside. I've come to the conclusion therapy is probably the best option to really find some true answers and figure things out. I guess my only problem is that recently i feel like this feeling of dysphoria has faded a bit. That being said I don't feel cured. Instead I feel lethargic and a bit depressed. It's such a polar opposite and I just don't know. I just feel like I have no direction in my life. It's such an uneasy feeling not being sure about your future and what you think might be best... anyway thanks for listening to my rant.

[jasellebelle]

Hi Jessicuhh,

I cant give much insight yet but your post sounds as if I wrote it myself. My gender dysphoria comes and goes. Sometimes for years or only months to just days. Its quite the roller coaster ride of emotions. Just so you know, you def arent alone 

[GeekGurl2014]

I find myself in a similar situation.  My feelings of gender dysphoria are very fluid.  There are some days where I feel completely comfortable in my body and there are other days where all I can think about is becoming a woman.  It has got so bad as of late that I had actually tried to obtain hormones for the purpose of self-medicating (fyi never a smart thing to do, seek professional help).  Lucky for me I came to my senses quickly and was able to cancel the order.  Needless to say I am now in the market for a therapist and I highly suggest you seek one as well to help you through some of these thoughts and feelings.

[Ptero]

Hi Everybody,

I also have "phases" of strong or milder dysphoria. But I identified some "triggers" like meeting new persons, romantic relationships, official events, go clothe shopping with my mom,..., that cause stronger dysphoria and I try (as much as possible) to avoid them. It's not an entirely good solution because, in my case, it would result in isolation, but if you can identify your triggers perhaps you can avoid them at least temporarily when you feel too bad. And perhaps work on why these events/persons/situations cause you stronger dysphoria. (of course, sometimes I just don't understand why I suddenly can't bear anyone calling me "mademoiselle" and it seems there isn't any precise reason...)

[Clhoe G]

Feeling sexy is very close to arousal so I wouldn't look at that as a negative, maybe a miss directed thought of the feeling 

Clothes can really make a big difference, when it comes to getting that feeling, n shoes, shoes are sexy.

[Clhoe G]

 If that makes sense 

[traci_k]

Mild Depression, aimlessness, lethargy could be subtle symptoms of Gender Dysphoria.

A transperson who went throughaomething similar describes it on "That was Dysphoria 8 Signs and Synptoms"
Don't have the link handy, just google That was dysphoria - should be close, if not at the top.

Hope it helps.

[alexbb]

"I'm currently 21 and have had a bit of a kink since day 1. I thought of being a girl since I was very little. However when I hit puberty this began to be a source of arousal to me. So I would cross dress and a sort of thrill and excitement but at the same time it just made me feel right inside. Over time the arousal started taking more of a back seat and I noticed as of lately a different feeling. A feeling I can most closely associate with gender dysphoria of some sort.!

Yep bingo. i was the exact same. i left it till 32 but now im transitioning. tbh i just live as a girl now pretty much, it feels natural, all my friends and fams now know, its awesome. depression, sexual worries, feeling suicidal, all gone. i still love buying clothes and make up and dressing up and now dont have to undress ever ha!

[Robyn37]

You definitely are not alone! Many have gone through a similar situation that you are going through. I just joined this forum, but it seems like there are many knowledgable people at various phases of their journey, and maybe reading about other's experiences can help you on your own journey. Just be sure to love yourself and everything will fall into place!

[Mustang Kaelin]

What made me decide to start crossdressing was that I was extremely comfortable in my own skin to put on girl clothes, try on a bra, etc. I just ordered some boots to go with my clothes, and I'm fixin to buy a wig and experiment with makeup. I know that I'm 100% biologically a male, and have no plans of going on HRT, but I just wanted to just see what it felt like wearing the clothes of a woman for a little bit, and quite honestly, it feels really good! Hope that helps

Hugs!
Kaelin