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Focus shifting towards life

Started by Newgirl Dani, December 06, 2014, 03:40:08 AM

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Newgirl Dani

Right now I seem to be kind of overwhelmed, ecstatic,interested, and just an overall sense of the world unfolding before my eyes.  The first few months of hrt and I never strayed too far away from my standard fare: hrt, mtf talk and a couple others.  Something new is happening and I dont know how to label it, I think the answer is in the title of the thread.  Tonight I ventured around the site far more than I ever have before and experienced an overload of sorts, but of really nice feelings.  As some here may know, I spent my entire life in addiction, running as fast as possible in the direction 'away' from personal insight.  Well the thread that had the most impact tonight was scrolling thru the cooking thread.  I very rarely ate and was at most times nutritionally starved.  Oddly though this was about something entirely different, seeing the pictures of nicely prepared food, place settings on tables, descriptions of preparation techniques, I felt I was beginning to see what the world is 'truly' about for the first time.  It made me feel all funny inside, like I wanted to cry, laugh, smile, and a myriad of other things all at the same time.  I feel like I'm being born and looking around at the world.  At this very moment I can feel tears on my cheeks as I type.  After leaving the cooking section I started to scan all the different forum sections, science, hobbies, on and on.  My world is finally coming alive and it feels really really good.  It is nice to be relieved of some of the burden of stepping out and away from that bright and glaring hotspot which exists underneath the magnifying lens of self introspection and relaxing enough for this experience to take place.  I have much much to learn and this is a great place to do it.  Thanks    Dani
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PinkCloud

 :icon_walk: wow... that is so honest and heartfelt.
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JoanneB

Transitioning is changing. It is a process. Usually a long one.

Six years in and I am still being amazed at the emotional/spiritual/mental changes taking place as I slowly learn what it really is like being me and not living up to an image
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Rachel

Newgirl Dani, Hugs

You are beginning a new life, you deserve it.

I was always socially awkward, had social anxiety and was always quiet. Now I am on 4 volunteer employee enrichment groups and I am volunteering for The Trans Health Conference in Philly. I want to be me and live. I am turning into a health nut too :)  2 years ago I was trying to kill myself. I can not believe the change.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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stephaniec

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Newgirl Dani

Thanks all, sure has been an interesting and difficult road, at times I wanted to quit hrt, almost quit the forum, times of thinking nothing could help cause I was probably clinically insane.  There was just enough stars people here were tossing onto my path that kept my way well lit.  Key is to never ever give up.  Dani
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