I passed when I wasn't really expecting to.....

[Canl]

I passed twice last week when I wasn't expecting to. I dress like a man but I could probably pass as both male or female lol I think I heard someone say "oh it's a woman" when I walked into the toilets yesterday. I know when people are looking at me they get confused like is that a man or woman? Which is sort of funny and awkward to me. I think its because of my hat which I am wearing to cover my hair (I tried to cut my hair myself) I like it but I don't want other people to look at it and laugh coz its quite messy looking/wavy. Anyway should I use the male or female toilets? How do you deal with people looking at u and trying to figure out whether ur male or female? Does anybody find this awkward?

[makipu]

Even though I do have anxiety regarding this as well, first and foremost I DON'T look around me and make sure my eyes don't meet theirs whether men or women.

[zero.cool.crash.override]

I think its because of my hat which I am wearing to cover my hair (I tried to cut my hair myself)

^ Nice
Yes, I experience this as well.  And I have also been perceived as male at times when I least expected it.  I was getting that reaction when I went into the women's locker room at the gym.  There I was with shaved legs, a perky sports bra, sweat making my shirt stick to me, my face flushed all girly like -- and they still freaked out when I went into the women's room.  On the other hand, just yesterday I was wearing a hoodie, baseball hat, cargo pants, and boots, and a customer opened the door and before I had even opened my mouth, he corrected himself from telling his kids that the "____ man was here" to saying that the "____ woman was here." Could he not see the one whisker hair on my chin?!?!

I've been wearing guy's clothes my whole life.  So I have been getting the negative reaction in public restrooms for as long as I can remember.  It's hard to imagine feeling free to use a bathroom without the reactions, stares, and comments.  That freedom has not been part of my life experience thus far, but I am really looking forward to it as I transition.  For now, I still use the women's room.  I intend to switch to the men's room only when I am consistently perceived as male. 

How do I deal with it?  I just suck it up and carry on about my business.  I've never gotten used to it.  It is still awkward and I still hate it, but I don't dwell on it. 

[kris0426]

I've got bitched at in the female public washrooms during rush hours by the caretaker very often back then cuz I look nothing like a girl to them. And all the girls in the washroom wud keep staring at me from the top to the bottom. Some of them wud even give me the look. It makes me feel very vary uncomfortable. There was once that the caretaker kicked me out with a broom stick n yelled at me saying I shud not be in there it's a woman's washroom. Don't pretend u don't know this is for woman only!! I got really really embarrassed. So later I decided to just go to the man's since it's been so many times I've got yelled at n they cudnt tell if I'm a boy or girl. I had no problems going to the man's and it's been about 2 1/2 years now. But there's just one thing I wud worry about - The peeing sound. Cuz peeing with a penis or standing peeing sound different from sitting down u know what I mean. I'm afraid that Ppl cud tell the difference. It wud be awkward.

[Bran]

. But there's just one thing I wud worry about - The peeing sound. Cuz peeing with a penis or standing peeing sound different from sitting down u know what I mean. I'm afraid that Ppl cud tell the difference. It wud be awkward.

Some guys sit down to pee, or so I'm told.  There are all kinds of reasons why a guy would, from having non-standard genitalia (plenty of cis guys don't have a penis structured to make peeing standing up easy) or one of a variety of acquired medical conditions, to a simple preference.  I'm also told that men generally don't notice one another's existance in the bathroom, so it's almost like privacy!  If you are usually read as male, I don't think the noise of you sitting to pee would interfere. 

[Cynobyte]

Ya lost your penis in a fishing accident;)  I've been/wuz a guy for 40 years and you don't notice someone pissing:)  guys are homophobic in the restroom.   I just never noticed these things til lately;)   but unless you use a urinal, I'd never use a toilet in a men's restroom.  I actually snuck into a girls bathroom one time to #2..  just that dirty..  but things are getting cleaner;)  i hope!