Ye I'm realising that happiness with this whole deal is attitude, but I'll be honest I'm a little scared that I'm not that type of person. You have to own who you are. I get that. When I came out to myself a few months ago I felt that way for a little while, I am who I am and I'm happy type thing, but it quickly went away. I'm trying to get into that way of thinking again but its hard and even if I can sometimes I feel like how hard transitioning would be I would have to be that way ALL the time, and that type of confidence just doesn't come naturally to me. The opposite in fact. But hey I'll keep trying.
I just wish I could know what I would look like or even if hormones worked in such a way that I could change a tiny bit each day and keep going if I liked it but without coming out to anyone until I was sure I was going to go all the way.