When I first started transitioning, I was really worried about my mannerisms and body type and such. I felt like even after T, I wouldn't pass as male because of how I look and act. "There's no man out there like me," I thought. "I have to keep a close eye on them so that I can pick up on some things to help me pass." I don't like the idea of becoming someone I'm not, I just mean things that were learned that I can unlearn to help me be gendered appropriately.
Well, the more I watch guys, the more I notice that there ARE men like me. I've seen guys with my body type and mannerisms, and when I listen to them speak, there are some men who don't speak much differently than I already do. There are men with my hairstyle, there are men who wear things I would wear. There are men who act like I do and men with my dorky sense of humor. There are other little similarities that I can't verbalize. It's SO relieving, I can't even express to you how much this calms my fears of never being taken seriously as an FTM or a man in general.
Last night I swear I saw my doppelganger. I saw a guy with the same hairstyle as me (a long mohawk combed to the side instead of spiked on top), and he was really short and skinny. I'm on the tiny end of women's sizes, so I'd be a REALLY petite male...like this guy. (There are a lot of really short/petite men out there! I never realized...) The way he moved past me, he seemed kind of shy and reserved. Then he felt my eyes on him and glanced behind him to see me quickly turn my head away. Even his features reminded me of my own, a little bit. It was freaky, but cool. He modeled the body and presence I could have in the future, haha.
Have you ever met your doppelganger? XD
Have you experienced anything similar while transitioning, especially when you first started?
