So, I am deep in the closet that you can find my bra, panties, wigs, and make-up there, but my mom had an interesting conversation.
My brother came down and he has always had a leaner body shape then me, but his appearance is more feminine. He has been growing his nails (long looking, but not really manicure), appeared to be battling talking at different pitches, and his expression appeared to be feminine. I was thinking that if he is embracing his feminine side, while I am not. I thought about how to do that, but it just feels awkward. Honestly, it felt awkward interacting with him, mainly the fact that I am dealing with my internally identity/emotional crisis.
Anyways this happened two weeks ago.
My mom comes and comments on his appearance and informed me of her concern. I asked her if she thought that he was gay. She told me that she did not have a problem if he was gay, but it would be concerning if he was transgender. She had this look of pure terror and sadness. She asked me how I felt. I asked her if he looked depressed or sad? She told me no. I told her that is the most important thing is that he is happy. I told her that the only thing that irritates me is that he doesn't pick up his phone when I call him or I saw him blatantly ignore my phone call when I saw in restaurant, freakin kid.
Ultimately, this is going to write off my mom for a while being an ally and informing her that I am going through my own identity issues.
I have not approached my brother about this issue because I believe that he will feel comfortable telling me whatever.
This post is coming from a gender neutral more masculine position as an older brother looking out for the well being of a younger sibling. Also I am referring to him in masculine pronouns and would appreciate that any reference to my brother use the same, due to him portraying a masculine gender.
Thanks.
Comment and questions are appreciated.
