what would you do different if you could transition all over again.

[Steph34]

I would go back and start the process when I was 19 and had a smaller head, full scalp hair, higher voice, narrower waist, no facial hair... that is, before the T wreaked its havoc, yet after I was old enough to make my own decisions legally. Even going back to when I was 24 or so to initiate the process, could have saved my hair. That was when I found out that my sister dumped her fiancé for being transgendered, which presented me with an opportunity to open up about myself that I failed to acknowledge at the time. That is my biggest regret, that I waited so long that I can never have beautiful hair or a feminine body shape. I would have convinced myself that hormone levels really do matter, and that it is impossible to be effeminate with a high T:E ratio. I would have realized that my life savings of $1100 WERE enough to get me started on HRT, especially while floating on my family's insurance plan. I would have stopped worrying so much about my family disowning me, because even if they threw me on the street (unlikely) or gave me steroids (conceivable), it still would have been better than living in the wrong body. I would have overcome my fear of shopping and amassed more feminine clothing and skin care items, alas I have still been unable to do that. But above all else, I would give up everything I own to have my hair back.

[Christine Eryn]

I recently told a FTM buddy of mine I should have smashed my "poison producing T gonads" when I was 18.    Definately should have got an orchi and started transitioning in my early 20s, that's for damn sure. I would have not listened to my family, and should have stopped living in denial. Too many goddamn should/would/could statements for me.

[katiej]

Most of the same, I guess.

But I would advise this: Start with hair removal yesterday. It is probably the most difficult and most time consuming of all things you can do. I started long before HRT, and after 5 years I am still busy maintaining sparse hairs that pop-up. I cannot imagine doing a real-life experience with a five 'o clock shadow. Some girls even have a beard shadow while having SRS, it is the last thing you want. I knew I had to start early. Glad I did.

This is really good advice. I've started low dose to take the edge off the dysphoria, and it's been fantastic for that. But I'm not ready for the physical changes of full dose until I can get my facial hair under control. Mine is super thick and dark, and with makeup I've got a four to five hour window before it's showing up again.

I wouldn't have humiliated myself making nice to my in-laws while they asked me nasty questions and attacked me after I came out. Turns out if they were just going to disown us anyway, I might as well have gone easy on both of us and just walked in, said "Guess what? I'm a big ol' transsexual and will likely never speak to you again" and left.

I am absolutely dreading coming out to the in-laws.  I think my mother-in-law will come around eventually, but it's going to be ugly at first.  And they live in the same town we do.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Well seeing there's an option to go back in time...

True.

But I will answer anyway.

I would have come out to my mom in 97.
I would have knocked out the electro from 98 to 04.
I would have found a therapist in 98 and went from there.

That's pretty much it.

[Wynternight]

If you could go back in time to the day you began your transition, what would you do differently?
Or what advice would you give, based on your experience to others, beginning their transition?

I would lower my testosterone levels before, adding any estrogen, because I ended up with full blown andropause symptoms and I think estrogen made it worse.
Worst few months of my life.

I would have started 30 years or more before I did.

[CrissyMarie]

Definitely started transition around 14-15 to go through puberty correctly instead of starting so late.

[noleen111]

I as well, you loved to have started my transition at the age 12 or 13, i started at 21 (I know that is not so old)


but if I had started say at 12, i would have had one puberty, and i would have been a teenage girl.

My personality has changed a lot since i started my transition, i went from a shy, withdrawn person to outgoing, center of the party person. If i had transitioned at 12, i could have gotten more from my school years.. i.e. taking part in more activities.

[Clhoe G]

I recently told a FTM buddy of mine I should have smashed my "poison producing T gonads" when I was 18.    Definately should have got an orchi

Ouch, I think I'd prefer the orchi, if I wasn't do attached to em.

[Jenny07]

Interestingly all I would have done was to prevent the accident that took my mothers life when I was 9.
She knew all about it and even explained it for me. She was wonderful.

What could have been.

I would have told my aunt about the abuse we had to deal with from my father which scarred me very badly.
I was too afraid to speak up aged 10-12 about it to anyone.
I was trapped for so long and forced to live is fear until I could escape the hate.

I promised to start at 30 but didn't know how.

I am now and that's all that matters.

So much happier and have reached the point of no return and I am not looking back ever.

J

[emilyking]

Besides starting sooner........
I'd change nothing.

[V M]

Probably everything because I would have started much earlier and so everything would have naturally been different and I would have been none the wiser either way

Who knows how it would have all panned out because that's all woulda, coulda, shoulda stuff that doesn't really have any relevance to the fact that we all have to live in the reality of the here and now

But no worries, it's kinda fun to daydream sometimes 

[missymay]

If you could go back in time to the day you began your transition, what would you do differently?
Or what advice would you give, based on your experience to others, beginning their transition?

I would lower my testosterone levels before, adding any estrogen, because I ended up with full blown andropause symptoms and I think estrogen made it worse.
Worst few months of my life.

I should have had consults With few therapists, before deciding on one, but in 1998 there was only one in my area that I could find. At first I really liked her (and I still do), she was very personable, and she was the first person I had ever confided in about being a woman in the wrong body, but she hurt me, because she gave me false hope in regards to the changes I should expect within the first 6 months of HRT. I started HRT at age 35, I weighed 215lbs of solid muscle with 4% body fat and I had been that way for 10 years. Anyway, I explained to her that I would only begin HRT and start the process to transition, if I could be sure that HRT would cause me to lose enough muscle, so that I could have a feminine body.  Her response was that she sees transgender patients regularly, and that she was certain that I was going to have a good outcome.  She went on to say that within 6 months after starting HRT, I would resemble a female athlete, such as a tennis player. Well 6 months later, Her predictions were all wrong, and I was heartbroken, and put transition on hold for 9 years, because the fact is that for every year that you lift weights, it takes that full amount of time for the muscles to atrophy.

We deserve to know the good as well as the bad, so that we can make the correct decisions. I already knew that it would take 10 years to lose the muscle, but she led me to believe that HRT magically melts it away.

[Danielle Emmalee]

I'm not sure I would even start earlier if I could go back in time.   I'm so happy with how my life is right now, and who knows what changing anything about my past would mess with that.  Yeah, it could be better, but would I have learned the same lessons, would I have appreciated what I have as much, would I be happy, not knowing the same sadness?

[katiej]

I'm not sure I would even start earlier if I could go back in time.   I'm so happy with how my life is right now, and who knows what changing anything about my past would mess with that.  Yeah, it could be better, but would I have learned the same lessons, would I have appreciated what I have as much, would I be happy, not knowing the same sadness?

Danielle, I'm with you.  I almost transitioned in my early 20's, but I'm not sure I could have found the needed support back then.  I certainly wasn't financially stable enough and probably wasn't emotionally ready for it.  Yes...testosterone poisoning and all of that, but I'm now financially stable, in a good place for transition (Seattle), and I have four kids to show for my decision not to transition earlier.  So I'm good.

[Allyda]

I would have followed through with my first attempt at transition when I was 17 years old, and let nothing get in the way of my happiness such as parental/family pressure not to despite my genetics, and having to move to another state. Had I done this instead of using having to move as an excuse to save my money. Every time I think of my lost years I just break down and cry.

Happy Holidays!
Ally

[Steph34]

I would have started with only therapist #1, instead of starting with two concurrently in case one did not work out. Therapist #2, although very polite, was expensive and referred me to therapist #3 who was even more expensive, and therapist #2 disowned me as soon as she found out I was "cheating" on her by seeing therapist #1. Or better yet, I would have started with therapist #4 because therapist #1 was verbally abusive and ambivalent about getting me on HRT. I hope that makes sense.

Every time I think of my lost years I just break down and cry.

I feel the same way. There are some new songs out now that make me think about what I could have been if I had started sooner, and they bring me to tears almost every time.

[missymay]

I would have started with only therapist #1, instead of starting with two concurrently in case one did not work out. Therapist #2, although very polite, was expensive and referred me to therapist #3 who was even more expensive, and therapist #2 disowned me as soon as she found out I was "cheating" on her by seeing therapist #1. Or better yet, I would have started with therapist #4 because therapist #1 was verbally abusive and ambivalent about getting me on HRT. I hope that makes sense.

Who's on first? 

[katiej]

I would have started with only therapist #1, instead of starting with two concurrently in case one did not work out. Therapist #2, although very polite, was expensive and referred me to therapist #3 who was even more expensive, and therapist #2 disowned me as soon as she found out I was "cheating" on her by seeing therapist #1. Or better yet, I would have started with therapist #4 because therapist #1 was verbally abusive and ambivalent about getting me on HRT. I hope that makes sense.

Sounds complicated.  And I'm sorry you had to go through that.  It also make me feel very thankful I found such a fantastic therapist.  The process has been very easy so far.

[arimoose]

Start at age 15 instead of forty something. Period.

Sent from my KFSOWI using Tapatalk

[SarahElizabeth]

  I would have to say nothing.  I know that is probably strange to hear but everything that has happened in my life has made me the person I am today and I would not want to change any of it because there is no way of knowing what the final outcome will be.  Changing even the most minor detail could change my life for the worse.  Right now I have a good job, a loving and supportive wife and family and I would not want to risk loosing any of that.  I like to live by the saying everything happens for a reason.  That reason might not be apparent today but one day you may see it.