Quote from: Jaston on August 09, 2007, 04:51:19 AM
Good Morning All!
Well I woke up this morning in abit of a state. Last night I dreamt that I was in Tenerife however if was very different, with people all in the street looking like they would stab you if you gave them two looks.. and it was manic and disturbing. However to the real point, I was with 3 MTF's however they where very passable by them selves and they told me that there was a doctor who can get us our hormones and surgery extra quick with just one appointment, so I followed them walking to this surgery.. which was private and in an old terrace house which didn't look like a surgery before... The 3 MTF's asked if I wanted to see the doctor first however I said "no" its alright you all can go first. The three females where talking to the doctor for about 5 mins and the doctor said "Here is your subscription and the dates for your surgery" The three women then walked out of the surgery happy. However it was my turn I got into the doctors room and she asked me "why are you here" I explained and she looked at me wanted to look at my lumps then.. said "I don't think I could ever recommend you for surgery or hormones I don't be that you are really FTM and I am going to tell all of the gender doctors so you wont be able to get treatment anywhere...." I asked why and the doctor became angry and basically kicked me out of the surgery......
I woke up this morning worried.......... thats the only word I can use...... 
Whoa... dude! Please don't let your Dreams get you too worried!
I'm a great believer in the power of dreams - not necessarily in that they always speak of the future, or of given 'sub-conciseness' thoughts, though some dream states may occasionally bring such messages. Most often though, I suspect they're often merely a random jumbling of daily thoughts, concerns, fears, and hopes.
We can learn a lot by looking at our dreams though, and asking ourselves the kind of honest questions only
you can ask yourself - and get an honest answer.
My own dreams often reflect variations of unresolved issues or concerns, and as such, are often not real pleasant. As such, I don't believe those dreams are predicting any future, but rather, are an 'escape valve' for those sub-conscious memories and concerns that I haven't yet resolved, or are still worried about.
Sometimes, a dream may present us with a possible solution or scenario that we haven't previously considered. Other times though, we may just be dreaming about it because it's something that we're worried about, and think about a lot.
Regardless of what type of dream this may be, I wouldn't sweat it too much... at worse, I suspect your dream is merely your concerns about getting treatment, being able to afford it, people's acceptance of it, etc. Ultimately we rule our own dreams though, if only because they so often stem from the very things that concern us, or are unsettled.
I try to use my own dreams to explore options... to try out different versions of actions and responses, and if nothing else, just lay back and observe what the dream may bring. It isn't always pretty, but it's often insightful!
If you really get into your dreams, you may even start to explore options like consciously 'entering' your dream when things go bad, and changing things, or just waking yourself up, and then going back into the dream with the idea of changing what was happening.
Anyway, the bottom line is... don't sweat it too much. A dream is often nothing BUT a dream, and certainly not a guaranteed vision of the future. Take them for what they are - something of your mind, and possibly, even your own control if you wish. Our dreams are usually merely our subconscious telling us it's bothered by something, or expressing the worries we're consciously aware of.
It's often useful to try and remember your dreams when first awakening, so if nothing else, you can try to see if there's any patterns. Meanwhile, don't worry about the rather dismal results in this dream... you're understandably afraid of such things happening - not ever getting treatments; perhaps questioning yourself about transitioning (even if subconsciously); worrying about people's reactions to you; etc. You may be dreaming about such TS issues simply because it IS a concern to you!
And yes, sometimes a Dream is only a Dream, and nothing more. Just try and lay back and enjoy your dreams as much as possible. Take care, and worry not, man!
Scott
