Galaxy, I want to share something with you... one of my closest MtF friends, Arianna, could pretty much post EXACTLY the same list that you did earlier in this topic. She got no breast growth, no reduction in body or facial hair, no nipple development, no fat redistribution, only very slight softening of skin, she can't grow her hair longer than her shoulders either, she was more or less exactly the same age as you when she started transition, and she too doesn't see anything but her old self when she looks in the mirror.
The thing is, though, despite this, she passes. Even despite having a very deep voice, even despite having pretty much no body shape at all, she still ended up passing more or less 100% after several years on hormones, even though she could never see them changing a darned thing about her. (And it took her until about a year after her SRS before this happened, because her face also got a bit more angular on HRT between the 1.5-2.5 year mark, and she was still regularly being misgendered at the time.)
She doesn't look much different today. It's all little tiny things that have changed... her face and skin are a slight bit smoother, her mannerisms are now much calmer, her voice is softer (though not higher.) So even though she pretty much looks EXACTLY the same as she did pre-hormones, Those little subtle changes that only happened with lots and lots of time and lots and lots of RLE made all the difference. I can't see her as anything but a beautiful normal woman. All I'm trying to say is, I was shocked when I met Ari because I was like "what? YOU'RE trans?" I couldn't see any masculinity in her whatsoever when I met her, (she was 6 years into HRT by that point,) and yet she still didn't feel good about herself, and still even today can't seem to think about anything but the fact that she doesn't have breasts, doesn't have hips, still has to fight with body and facial hair, doesn't look any different to herself than she did before hormones, and is so much bigger and "less pretty" than cis girls, even though despite all of those things she's now passing with ease. (And quite pretty, I might add.)
Other people don't judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves. When I met her, I didn't see an inadequate girl with no breasts, no shape, or a deep voice, I just saw Ari. Because while we know every single one of our own flaws, every single thing that makes us somehow inadequate or "lesser," they mean nothing to other people... other people take you at face value for who you are.
And one of your posts that I have indeed seen is the one where you said "Other people see me as a ordinary woman..."
So I suspect that your problem is the same as Ari's, and to be honest, the same as mine... (trust me, I have the same issues with wanting to be pretty, wanting to be able to wear bikinis and swim and live a "normal" feminine life,)... constantly focusing on all of the things that somehow invalidate your femininity because you don't have them, and losing sight of the fact that in spite of all of those "inadequacies," you are a woman. That even though you can't accept yourself, others do.
Ari is beautiful despite her own perceived "lacks," and you're beautiful too.
