I'm just at the beginning of the road, but as a general principle, I suggest trying to be as patient as you can. It sounds like your wife and family love you and want you to stay, and that is something extremely valuable. I totally understand wanting things to move along, it's what I'm feeling more than anything myself (except maybe for anxiety about telling my own family). But if you think you can, moving things slowly sounds like it will help your family, and especially your wife, adapt. That is worth a lot, and maybe if you focus on your future *together with your family*, you can find the strength to be patient."
Thanks Jeni
There is a lot of back story on my parents and extended family to wear I have a tendency to want to take hormones and work real hard till I am passable and hide it as much as possible til I am passable, then dress to the nines and give them two middle fingers on the way out of their lives..But I digress, her family in seven years has treated me better than my own family has ever treated me, and I end up at there house for holidays and gatherings. My mother I told right before my daughter was born and she half flipped and half supported me in a your not gong to make a good parent but I will always love you and you an always come to me kind of way...I was thinkin really I am not going to be a good parent after all that's like the pot calling the kettle black. My dad has always been steadfast and while I feel I had my share of beatings for what ever reason he was pretty fair except when my mother was at her maniacal best, she would tell him I had done things that I didn't and when he got home I would get the belt, that wet on for years not every day but at least three times a week. It turned out she got better with treatment and that she had bi polar disorder. And she is mostly loving as long as she doesn't forget her meds lol. But I was adopted and the rest of the family never really treated me as "blood". We all lived on the same road, still do, on privately owned land and even though I didn't know I was adopted I knew I was treated differently than my cousins and I have resentment towards a lot of them, so I in part when I originally wrote this I was already in a bad way with depression and when I am like that all that resentment comes roaring back and I know that's why I was ready to leave, her family it actually bothered me, the thought of leaving all of them just doesn't ring in my head, I just thought logically that they would never support their son in law changing and that I would be seen as bad for doing that to there daughter. Well I was wrong... I cant say I have never been more happy to be proved wrong. We are probably going to find a house to move into together in January and I am selling my current house and my in laws are going to split the payments with me, so If I get a reasonable deal I know it will be cheap enough for me to transition still and have a nice place to live away from my family. So that's pretty ass backwards from what you usually hear about in laws, but that's it I have always like them a lot more than my family and when me and my wife first got together we lived with them for a year before I bought my house and moved out. So it will be nice to spend more time with them again. again sorry for the long posts, I just felt a little back story was in order as to why I tend to want to tell my family where to go... I swear there should be a law against posting drunk, or emotionally unstable lol, I would fit one or the other depending on what day of the week it was lol, but I feel some of the pressure I was feeling is gone now, and I can breathe again. I see and I knew that I was at peace with transition, I guess all the depression was coming from the thought of losing loved ones in the process... Thanks all and I will keep everyone updated as to what progress is made and I still have to have sit down with my in laws in person.
