hi there! i'm a teenager who has been questioning their gender since they could even comprehend what gender was.
i was determined female at birth, but i've never felt incredibly connected with the female gender. i remember being five or six and taking my princess toys, i would have them go into "surgery" and have them "get penises". i would also walk around shirtless until i developed breasts and no longer could, i would hang out with mainly guys and try to be one of them. i used to fantasize about becoming male and joining a pro baseball team, i never wanted to play softball but rather dreamed of joining the st louis cardinals. i didn't really know why i did any of these things at the time, but thinking back with the knowledge i have about gender now all these things kind of make sense.
my "real" name isn't alex and nobody calls me by it, but i wish people would. it's gender-neutral, it's nice, it's simple. it makes me feel comfortable. as i said, i'm very much questioning my gender but i don't think i'm cis. maybe non-binary, maybe trans, i have no idea. until i figure it out i'd prefer if people used they/them pronouns with me, but i'm ok with he/him pronouns too.
aside from gender related stuff, i really love playing and writing music. it's gotten me through a lot and is my biggest passion. i play the bass guitar and sing.
my username "synesthetic" comes from me having synesthesia. what that means, if you're unfamiliar, is that my senses can come together. when i hear sounds, my mind translates it into colors. and sometimes when i see colors, my mind translates it into tastes. it's kind of weird but really interesting. i love it.
i don't really know what else to say about myself, but i'm glad to meet all of you lovely people. i lurked for a bit before deciding to sign up, haha. thank you for this great community, i hope it can help me in my journey of self-discovery.
- alex
