Help! Which toilet should I use??

[Canl]

I don't know which toilets to use when I'm outside. I don't think I pass because of my voice but I look male I think. I just don't know which toilets to use and I don't wana get thrown out of the toilets because that would be embarassing. I get odd looks as it is so if something like that was to happen I don't think I could handle it. I needed the toilet today so I went to a shopping centre (mall) and I sat in the seating area outside the toilets because there were a lot of people around and I wanted to go to the disabled toilets eventhough people who see me are probably judging me thinking "why is he/she going to the disabled toilets?" Am I even allowed to go to it since I'm not actually disabled? I haven't changed my name to a male name yet so if I go to the male toilets is this legal or not since I have a female name...can I only go to the male toilets after my name change? I don't know what to do because I feel like I can't go out because I can't use the toilets and at the moment I am walking all across the city just to find toilets and its annoying not to mention tiring. I think it is ridiculous that I (and others) are going through this. Why aren't there any toilets for all genders? It is frustrating especially because I'm in new a city so this is another problem to my list.

[Rengar]

This can be super scary for anybody and I totally feel you. Pre Testosterone I looked sort of passable and "not even like a girl" according to my friends. I used the male restroom quite a few times before getting on Testosterone and passing 100%. STP's definitely help but, I never used one. What I did was just keep my head down. Don't make any eye contact and just walk straight towards the stall. If someone was in it I would just wait with my head down, again making no eye contact.

I used to use the disabled stalls all the time. Nobody knows if you have a metal leg or not. I still don't have my name changed and using the female restroom now would get me thrown out for peeping. Even when I was pre testosterone I would get the gals asking "Was that person even a girl???" And they'd laugh as the ran out.

It can be really terrifying when other dudes are in there but don't worry! I've never been thrown out of a restroom because of the way I looked. I know some people do but, try to be confident! If you don't feel comfortable until after you're on testosterone then look for an all gendered bathroom if you can find one! https://31.media.tumblr.com/72c8982299facd07c80d63b63bf8cde7/tumblr_inline_nhprl0PHpr1qgm2u3.gif Here's what I looked like about a year ago before I was on Testosterone! If that little loser can pass in a bathroom then I'm sure you can too!

[Canl]

I think I'll just use the disabled toilets even if I have to wait a long time to use them and walk to the other side of the city. Atleast then I won't get too many odd looks hopefully. I thought my voice sounded manly but when I recorded it and heard it back it sounds like a girl. So I'm gonna have to work on that. Thanks for replying.

[katiej]

You guys have an easier time of switching restrooms than we transgirls do.  And it's because male bathroom culture is very different.  Get in, do your business, and get out.  Do not make eye contact, and rarely will there be any talking.  And honestly, a good percentage of guys never even stop to wash their hands.

If you mostly pass visually, then you'll be fine.  Don't overthink it. 

Kate

[AndrewB]

I agree with Kate. If your only concern is your voice and you're wanting to use the men's room, there's not a whole lot of risk; I started going Pre-T and I've never had to say a word while in there. Just use the stall, nobody will question it; we all have to use it at some point, and not all guys go standing up at the urinal. Relax and try it out, see what you think.

[aleon515]

If it's only your voice, I wouldn't worry, nobody talks in the men's room. Go in do your thing and leave. No one will question you.

--Jay

[Going4Miles]

This can be super scary for anybody and I totally feel you. Pre Testosterone I looked sort of passable and "not even like a girl" according to my friends. I used the male restroom quite a few times before getting on Testosterone and passing 100%. STP's definitely help but, I never used one. What I did was just keep my head down. Don't make any eye contact and just walk straight towards the stall. If someone was in it I would just wait with my head down, again making no eye contact.

I used to use the disabled stalls all the time. Nobody knows if you have a metal leg or not. I still don't have my name changed and using the female restroom now would get me thrown out for peeping. Even when I was pre testosterone I would get the gals asking "Was that person even a girl???" And they'd laugh as the ran out.

It can be really terrifying when other dudes are in there but don't worry! I've never been thrown out of a restroom because of the way I looked. I know some people do but, try to be confident! If you don't feel comfortable until after you're on testosterone then look for an all gendered bathroom if you can find one! https://31.media.tumblr.com/72c8982299facd07c80d63b63bf8cde7/tumblr_inline_nhprl0PHpr1qgm2u3.gif Here's what I looked like about a year ago before I was on Testosterone! If that little loser can pass in a bathroom then I'm sure you can too!

Rengar,

I highly doubt that you are or ever were a loser.    Anyway, your post with your pre-T photo was just what I needed because both just inspired me to use the men's public bathroom, which I just did and for the very first time.    I'm pre everything, but I look more boyish than you did back when that photo was taken.  I have to admit, I did think to myself if this guy can use the men's room looking like that, than so can I.  This did help me in working up the courage to just do it.  There was only 1 guy in the bathroom and he stayed in one of the stalls the entire time I was there.  Oh well, maybe next time I'll encounter some guys; I'm actually looking forward to that.  The important thing is, I went out and did it.  Thanks again!      

Miles     

[Rengar]

Rengar,

I highly doubt that you are or ever were a loser.    Anyway, your post with your pre-T photo was just what I needed because both just inspired me to use the men's public bathroom, which I just did and for the very first time.    I'm pre everything, but I look more boyish than you did back when that photo was taken.  I have to admit, I did think to myself if this guy can use the men's room looking like that, than so can I.  This did help me in working up the courage to just do it.  There was only 1 guy in the bathroom and he stayed in one of the stalls the entire time I was there.  Oh well, maybe next time I'll encounter some guys; I'm actually looking forward to that.  The important thing is, I went out and did it.  Thanks again!      

Miles   

Dude that's awesome! Congrats on your success and new found confidence!

[katiej]

Oh well, maybe next time I'll encounter some guys; I'm actually looking forward to that.  The important thing is, I went out and did it.  Thanks again!      

It's the little things like this that make transition so interesting.  Cis people never even think about stuff like this