Major attempt at a pick up...?

[Ms Grace]

Walking home from shopping today I was hit on by this young guy (mid to late twenties?) who threw every bit of flattery at me in his arsenal - complimented me on what I was wearing, complimented my name (I had told him after he asked nicely), told me I was a tall, red headed beauty, complimented me on my figure and asked if I worked out... was chatty, wanted to know what I was doing, where I was going. Jeeze, WTF? Unlike other guys who have tried me I wasn't rude to him (besides, this wasn't in the shopping mall or somewhere with a lot of people, just him and me walking in the street so being rude mightn't have been the best tactic anyway) I did engage him in short conversation... I even dropped the fact that I had a "boyfriend" a couple of times which didn't seem to phase him. He did go a separate way when I went to cross a road and said "good bye". A shame I'm not into guys or I'd have plenty of suitors already it would seem...? Do guys really try to pick up women on the street?? Was this guy just a pick up artist? It just seems so weird and inappropriate. This coming from someone who, when she was in guy mode, couldn't even muster the nerve to chat up women I already knew and liked at parties.

[Sabrina]

Yes it seems to be that some guys do do that. I was talking to the lady at the local coffee stand near my work back during summer. Some strange individual walked back and forth, in and out of the front entrance a couple times then left. I got into my car and he waved at me. My first thought was he was asking for directions. He ended up asking for my phone number. I replied "You know I'm a guy right?". He replied with a yes. I sped off cause I was creeped out. Normally, I might be flattered. I was wearing black skinny pants, tall heeled boots, a very nice blue dressy top, and had my hair done up nice. I guess there was something about me that he liked. My issue with him was he wasn't doing things correctly. Old jeans, a wife-beater shirt, and overall just didn't look like he tried. Had a creepy vibe I didn't like. I have since bought some mace to protect myself.

The only advice I can give is watch yourself and be aware of your surroundings at all times.

[Mai]

some people are like that it seems.  right now  it takes alot of effort to work myself up to just talking to someone i like, let alone getting to the point where i could carry on a conversation or get to the point of compliments and flirting.

but i have a coworker that goes out of his way to start complimenting and flirting non stop with every woman he comes accross, and goes out of his way to run into more to have more to talk to. 

[Ms Grace]

Well I did think to myself, "maybe this guy is a ->-bleeped-<-?" I almost couldn't believe he didn't realise I was MAAB. And yet...

I have to admit that even after nine months full time and 18 months HRT I still figure most people realise I'm trans, especially if they're the kind who knows what to look for.

[immortal gypsy]

Grace you pass completely. Nobody will ever doubt you weren't cis. We are all naturally our own worst critics, we will nit pick and obsess over our minor flaws while others look at the broad picture. You are a tall beautiful red head

Yes some guys (and girls) have the confidence to chat and try to 'pick up' anyone. It doesn't necessarily make them pick up artist, just confident people who are willing to use any chance they see to talk to someone they find attractive, (like you). Maybe a ring on the left hand will soon be needed to keep some of the guys away

[Cindy]

Grace, as Gypsy said you are an attractive woman, and men are attracted to women. Yep many men have the balls to chat up women. It is built into their genes. We never could probably because we were never men!

Oh BTW does he have a brother?

[Newgirl Dani]

I'm of the opinion that overt flirting is just sort of sad, weird, and can even verge on the pathetic.  It shows that lack of self confidence of knowing their own attractveness potential ( + & - ).  I also completely believe in the very subtle, those slight and 'natural' cues people give, and even then an easy testing of the waters will suffice.  Now that I think of it, I posted about something along these lines the other day, where I got caught totally off guard and blurted out some lame response.

Sabrina is right also, were living in stange days, never ignore the creepy vibe factor.  So just be careful Grace.   Dani

[Emjay]

We never could probably because we were never men!

Very good point!  I've always been amazed at people who could do that, just a completely alien concept to me.

[Ms Grace]

Grace you pass completely. Nobody will ever doubt you weren't cis.

Thanks hon, clearly I'm still coming to grips with this reality!

Oh BTW does he have a brother?

Ha, I'll ask if I find him wandering the streets again.

Very good point!  I've always been amazed at people who could do that, just a completely alien concept to me.

Indeed. Same here.

Maybe I should go to a lesbian bar and see if any of the ladies there try to pick me up... 

I knew women, especially young and very attractive women, have this hassle but I just never expected it to apply to me. I guess at least this time he was a young handsome man not an old sleaze!

[judithlynn]

Grace;
Having met you in person, all I saw was a gorgeous woman. There was nothing remotely masculine about you and I know  from experience that if you pass, there will always be some men that  will go to any attempt to pick one up. Unlike me, you are slim, look really great in a skirt  or dress with a really nice figure and you just need to find a nice woman or transwoman to date.
Judith

[amber roskamp]

guys are totally creepy. ive had to shoo them away of a couple times. and its crazy when you tell them "no" and/or "im not interested" and they react surprised. or they just ignore it and try a different line in like five minutes. Its like dude im a lesbian get the ->-bleeped-<- away from me. Ive said that and it didn't work. Guys have absolutely know idea how violating that is.

[DanielleA]

Hey MS Grace I think that you pass well. One of my girlfriends has an aunty that looks quite a lot like your picture.

[Rachel]

Grace, I think the 1st couple of times guys hit on me would be flattering then I guess it would get tiring.

He saw a beautiful woman he wanted to connect with, you. Guys see what they want then go after it.

[Ms Grace]

I'm so used to thinking of myself as having been, at best, a fairly so so looking guy and to think that I might now actually be an attractive woman...I think my mind is discombobulating!

[amber roskamp]

I'm so used to thinking of myself as having been, at best, a fairly so so looking guy and to think that I might now actually be an attractive woman...I think my mind is discombobulating!

well ive only seen your pics, but its not to hard for me to believe that you are an attractive women.

I  hope that one day I feel discombobulated in the same manner that you do.

[lemon_ice]

I have to agree with everyone else and say that yes, was absolutely a pick up attempt! :p I also know how you feel about being so surprised they don't know that you're trans..  I always kind of assume that people know as I'm like 6'0" and have only been on HRT for 6 months, I get told that I pass but I kinda figure people are just trying to be nice..
Well I had a very similar thing happen to me last night which has changed my mind a little.
I'm Argentina for a wee surgical revision, I'm just about healed and will be going home tomorrow. I decided to go out and have a few drinks in the early evening (I get lonely as I'm on my own, and its just nice to be around people sometimes), well a couple of Argentinian guys sat down at the next table, and one was all smiles at me etc. he tried to talk but I only know about 5 words in spannish lol. It turns out his friend knows a little English, but not so good with the speaking, so we started talking via typing onto smartphone screen and passing it back and forth, which was kind of fun- especially as I was super lonely, so they found out that I'm from NZ and that I like Argentinian wine, yadda yadda.. It was all nice. The he started asking if I liked his friend etc., and he was quite good looking, so I said I kinda did lol.. it got to the point where I thought I'd better tell them I was trans though (there were lots of people around and I felt pretty safe but I was still freaked a bit..), well it turns out they had NO idea lol.. I was quite flattered

[Railgun]

Grace, as Gypsy said you are an attractive woman, and men are attracted to women. Yep many men have the balls to chat up women. It is built into their genes. We never could probably because we were never men!

Oh BTW does he have a brother?

I beg to differ since i used to do that. 

But the reason why i did this was just wrong. I felt kind-of forced to do it, since that was still in the days where i doubted my identity.
I believed or more wanted to believe that if i just get a girl friend the gender dysphoria will go away. I was lying to myself, even more since i never had any sexual fantasies with me being male - it's just unimaginable for me. Which i also quickly found out as i actually tried it.
It just doesn't work for me. But for the "pick up": i really enjoyed talking with the girls, even if it was clear that they're not interested in a romantic way. It's just fun to meet new people and i never forced a conversation.

Oh... and a lesbian couple i know also met that way. They're married since this october.