Getting support

[PhoenixGurl2016]

I hope this is in the right place, but I currently looking to increase my network of support of cis women who is not family. My current network is a little bit toppy as they both are seeing some man and I would love to have undistracted support. How would I go about doing that? As I am just beginning I am not as feminine looking to find some one but who would be looking for a tg friend in person and how do I find them? Perhaps I should not worry about it now but I do.

[suzifrommd]

I agree it really does help to have supportive friends during transition. I'm not sure exactly how to find them - a lot of people are uncomfortable being involved in the process, I'm not sure why. I'm struggling with the same thing you are (though I'm a bit further along).

[Bran]

Hobbies!  When looking to meet new people, for friendship, support, or romance, your best plan is pursue the interests you have with a group.  My go-tos were always book clubs, sci-fi, anime, yarn, and religion.  I met my wife at a knitting group, have met some of my best friends through anime clubs or sci-fi book clubs, also met some great friends, and great sources of support, through religious groups (I'm Wiccan).  The trick, I've found, when looking for support or companionship, is to just find people that you have something in common with, and not push too hard at first.  The group activities can help you feel less lonely, and eventually you'll meet some people who can become good friends. 

[PhoenixGurl2016]

there is where I have a problem. I always want to do something with the person I link up with (friends,family,more, etc), and in turn it makes it hard for me to have relationships/make friends. I personally do not know why I struggle with that. The hobbies I do have have such a small group that I need to expand, though right now I do not know where to start.

[Bran]

It can be really hard, when you want intimate friendships, to just do group stuff for a while.  But, for me, it's usually necessary. 

I don't know where you are in transition, or how much time you have, but this might be an opportunity to explore new interests.  Most recreational groups are delighted to introduce new people to one of their favorite hobbies-- whether they're bowhunters or lacemakers, they'll probably love a newbie.  And if there's anything that you'd avoided because it wasn't congruent with your assigned gender, now's a great opportunity to branch out. 

I was hanging out with a friend, young and very queer-identified, who has met most of her friends through contra dancing!  She tells me there's a lot of crossover with comics fandom and the BDSM community. Who knew? 

[PhoenixGurl2016]

I am just starting out on my transition as stated in my introduction, so I sill look very male. It as always been hard for my to socialize and articulate in person so compared to online but I am looking. Luckily I am n0ot far from the twin cities but I am still an hour and a half away from it.

[Bran]

I am just starting out on my transition as stated in my introduction, so I sill look very male. . .

Sorry, my mistake. .  It's just a thought. Some people find online friendships, or friendships that started online before moving to RL, are very supportive, and this might be true for you.  I find I prefer meeting people in person, though I'm an introvert, and usually come home exhausted if I'm with more than a couple people, or people I don't know really well.  And, sometimes, the outlay of time and energy required to build new friendships is just too daunting. 

It's an awful irony that, if you don't have a good supportive social structure behind you, it's really hard to go out into the world and meet new people.   

[PhoenixGurl2016]

That it is. I just don't know many places I can go to find people right in my area


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[Rachel]

Hi,

Perhaps a LGBT center that offers meetings or LGBT clubs or bars that have different audiences. 

[PhoenixGurl2016]

Hi,

Perhaps a LGBT center that offers meetings or LGBT clubs or bars that have different audiences.

Contacted my local lgbt community center and talk there to a lady who said she would meet up with me after the 1st to talk.


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[Skylar105]

If you live near a decent size community you can most likely google hobby groups. I've found various things from sowing clothing to anime. there is a group for about everything. :3 but a LGBT center is a good place to start! Although my cities LGBT center is only a LG center. >_< (I don't go because of the lack of people) most of them are kind of bunched together.

[PhoenixGurl2016]

I live in Eau Claire Wi so we are not too small but not that big. We are larger then La Crosse, Wi but we do not have a group meeting (like them)from what I've seen so far. However we do have a LGBT Bar which I hope to go to with a/some friend at least one before I can pass. I am a bit of a geek. the good news about that is that the geek community is very open, the bad news is that we don't have as big of one as the cities. I actually do lead a community in my area to a particular interest but it is small, has mirrors. No Women. This hobbies community is very open as it has plenty of open gay people who not only play it but also good, really good. The same can be said for transwomen. So on the larger scale I am not to concern as I am an ok player, and don't have too much of recognizability for it to be an issue.