Did SRS solve your genital dysphoria (phantom feelings etc.)?

[Apple]

Hi, I have read here multiple times that often after SRS, when people close their eyes and touch themselves, it seems like touching this or that part of their previous "equipment", a little bit like phantom feelings. Like if the body map would not get updated much. Since I feel a strong dysphoria towards my genitals (pre-op), I'm a bit worried that SRS might not solve it satisfactorily, despite the result being good from the outside... Any ideas? Did you have strong genital dysphoria, got the phantom feelings, yet still feel "corrected"?

[suzifrommd]

There is basically no part of my new body that doesn't feel like SOME part of the old. That's because there are only so many nerves. They weren't cut. They're still attached to whatever they were attached to before. There are really no "new"parts. Just parts that have moved around.

When I'm not touching down there, I feel like I'm still "tucked".

Do I mind? No. I'm so thrilled to finally be shaped the way I should be that there is nothing but celebration.

[Vicky]

I did have some of the issues that you are talking about, and for about 6 months I was readjusting to where stuff was. Six months seems an eternity when you are 6 days post-op, but remember that for many years your brain had learned that nerve 1a3c4 was at point "Alpha" and is having to learn that it is at point "Zeta" or the like.  As post-op swelling goes away you will have less and less of the "re-mapped" nerve experience.  The "phantom" sensations will make more sense each and every day and eventually go away except for the odd little Zap or two.

[Jenna Marie]

I've seen both surgeons and patients claim that the brain usually rewires itself eventually. At any rate, in my case it was true; within a few days the nerves were remapped to their current locations, and I no longer had any sense that the old equipment still existed or was related to what I have now.

And yes, the genital dysphoria vanished the moment I woke up from anesthesia. It *helped* once I actually perceived myself as having a vagina and vulva, but I hated what was there so much that just having it GONE was enough at first. Every once in a while, to this day, I'll touch myself down there (in private, obviously!) just to reassure myself that it really is fixed.

One thing that may help you, and that did help me, was explicitly sitting down with a mirror from time to time and watching as I explored my new anatomy; somehow, actually seeing what I was touching seemed to help my brain figure out what nerves were reporting from where now.

[PinkCloud]

To me, it does not feel like the old parts at all. It feels completely new in every way, except for the neo clitoris. The sensation I often get is/was the same as when the glans expanded/filled with blood. Almost the exact same sensation. But yesterday I learned that a cis woman's clit also engorges with blood and it even has erectile tissue beneath it, so I guess I experience the same. I confused it with an erection type of feeling. There is actually little difference between male and female genitalia, only the size and location differs, but the same stem cells are used to develop both.

When I touch the area, it feels new, it also feels empty. But it is way better, no more tucking and stuff, and every pant fits nice!  I do not have to be afraid anymore that someone sees a bulge or something out of order. I also do not have to cover the area. That is also a huge relief, especially when  the summer arrives and when I go to the beach. Cannot wait to dive into the ocean and not having to worry about tucking and all of that.

[Apple]

When I touch the area, it feels new, it also feels empty.

Could you please explain more the "empty" feeling? Do you mean empty from the outside, that is, the crotch is empty (no penis and scrotum), or empty from the inside (like the opposite of engorgement)?

[nicolegn7]

Yes, I feel like I still have a penis and ball sack but it doesnt bother me. I know I have a vagina now. But, I was never the type to HATE my genitals, it was more just being in the wrong body nd knowing im female.

[PinkCloud]

Could you please explain more the "empty" feeling? Do you mean empty from the outside, that is, the crotch is empty (no penis and scrotum), or empty from the inside (like the opposite of engorgement)?

There is nothing anymore, so it took a while to get used to the empty spot outside. Maybe two weeks, before it became natural again. Similar as losing a tooth, the same empty feeling. But you get used to that as well. Because it is gone I have more freedom of movement it seems. Male bits really obstructs a lot of movement, now that I can tell the difference. Can close my legs tighter, my pants fit beautifully, and no fear of getting bits stuck in a zipper anymore.

When I look at it, it doesn't seem to be a rearranged penis. It looks and feels completely new. Before surgery, I was afraid of recognizing my old bits, but it is unrecognizable for me. Even the neo clitoris. I *know* it came from the glans penis, but it doesn't look like it at all.

[warmbody28]

for m everything went away. im just a normal girl now. even if someone says different it doesnt bother me anymore. i know who and what i am. no longer need validation

[divineintervention]

Yes, I feel like I still have a penis and ball sack but it doesnt bother me. I know I have a vagina now. But, I was never the type to HATE my genitals, it was more just being in the wrong body nd knowing im female.

Same - lol.

[Natalie]

It absolutely fixed my dysphoria problems! I wanted nothing more than to rid my body of that cancerous tumor affixed to my crotch. It was like a leech sucking the life-force from me and having that abnormal cellular mass gone is exactly what I wanted, and required psychologically, to get on with my life. My dysphoria was so severe I would vomit if I had to touch that "thing" for too long.

[Zumbagirl]

This coming March will be 12 years post op for me and to be quite honest I for the life cannot remember what it was like not having the plumbing I have now. I myself was very relieved the day after my surgery and to be honest it cured me pretty well I'll still take what I have now over what I had before any day of the week.

[awilliams1701]

I've fantasized about being a women before I came out to myself. Since coming out, I've had days where I forgot I still have male equipment. Everything about me felt female. Its almost like my brain is already trying to re-wire itself to feel my not yet present female components.

[Northern Jane]

The "phantom feelings" were there BEFORE SRS, like things were in the wrong place. After SRS, it was much better but I was still aware of slight differences between the results of surgery and what-should-have-been. Even 40 years later, some of those minor variations are still present.

[jfong]

Pre-op I have phantom vagina syndrome lol, now it just feels right and I hope it will be even better once I start exploring. It still feels a bit sore now and I am a bit wary of causing any pain for the fear that I will associate certain parts with pain.


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[Syne]

5.5 years postop and no, nothing down there feels the same as before. Not immediately after surgery and not now. I never had a hatred for my male equipment, just knew that it was not right and that caused depression. Maybe that has something to do with, maybe not. I do not know.