at what age did your dysphoria awaken

[stephaniec]

It's such a weird phenomena , I was hit hard by cross dressing at 4 , then my parents intervened then came the boy friend at 6 or7 then parents intervened then my mother passed and things quieted down for a short time then picked up again then hit  puberty and hell broke loose . then stopped for awhile late high school while dating then drugs , therapy. school again quiet then a relentless attack for 10 years then denial and quiet then suicidal then transition. It's been an experience

[Alana_Jane]

As the oldest of four brothers, I have early memories of leading all of us to raid our mothers intimates, then hiding them under the mattress.  Then there was one winter morning when I was 10, I put on a wool turtle neck sweater and I looked in the mirror and saw a girl looking back at me.  From then on I always felt like I was maybe intersexed.  I told my mother who was a nurse/RN and she would reply to me that no I was a boy. 

One Halloween, when I was 13 I borrowed a full outfit from her, and it fit.  She had a private talk with me about the locals were not so accepting of this type thing.  So, I took it off.  That's one aspect I miss about living in an urban metro area, no one knows who you are and they don't care what you do.  Instead I live in highly conservative, isolated (~70 miles to the next) town of ~30k people where this sort of thing would spread like wild-fire.  Well, when I'm ready I'll let it spread as I will be spreading it. 

[big kim]

I was 14, an older boy at school rode past on his BSA motorcycle with his girlfriend on the back.My friend wished he was the boy,I wished I was the girl.There were other clues looking back.6 and a half years later I read a news paper story on a TS and realised I was and it wasn't going away and I would have to deal with it.It took another 11 years of failing to blot it out with drink and dope to realise it wasn't going away on it's own and I will have to deal with it

[Elsa Delyth]

Yeah, I also had addiction problems... not to mention that I thought I was a lesbian, and was obsessed with lesbian culture in my teens, and in complete denial that I had anything at all in common with transsexuals until I was like 27... all of the stigma, and aversion people have, it was hard to admit that I was one.

[Monica Jean]

Interesting how 85% or so of all transgender people  knew by the age of 13 that they were indeed different and something was very different about them the rest of society.

[Merrydownjade]

I must have been around....11-12 late bloomer I guess, a lot went on in my childhood never had time to settle to even think about it my mother wasent really enforcing gender roles on me either but I tended to be much more girly, wanted to wear girls clothes wanted to play with my female cousins toys and all that jazz.

[awilliams1701]

I always knew there was something different about me by then, but I didn't know what it was until about 6 months ago. You would think hating everything about being a man would be an indication that I wanted to be a woman, but nope.

Interesting how 85% or so of all transgender people  knew by the age of 13 that they were indeed different and something was very different about them the rest of society.

[stephaniec]

well, to be honest , I think I've always been afraid to admit it . I've know since 4 years old , nothing changed about that all my life . I kept trying so hard to accept the part of being male even though I knew deep down I really wasn't . I was so afraid to mention it in therapy until I came to the end 14 moths ago. For some reason I needed to try be male. I failed miserably .

[Evangeline]

From the earliest moment that I can remember (roughly about 3 or 4, I believe), I was pretty sure that I was a girl. Hell, everyone else was, as well. In fact, strangers casually considered me to be female up until the age of 8 or 9, when my parents (in tremendous distress that their "son" was not as labelled) started shaving my head bald and filling my wardrobe with the most masculine children's clothes available. When that happened, I didn't stop thinking that I was female, I just assumed that something weird was going on and I would be acknowledged appropriately eventually.

That moment never came, sadly. I spent my teenage years waiting for the magic of "puberty" to turn me into the girl that I knew I was. Hah! That didn't happen either - beginning my continuous, unrelenting depression and increasing anxiety. At the current moment, I'm trying to fix this before I end up losing my job and my everything else due to the inability to focus and the constant mental agony that I find myself in.

[allisonsteph]

I think I realized there was something different about me when I was 5 or so. As puberty approached I'd look at things like the Victoria's Secret catalogue and think "I wish that would look that good on me" .Throughout my teens, twenties, and thirties, cross dressing took the edge off just enough that it was manageable. The dysphoria became crippling at 44, to the point I couldn't live one more day without addressing it.

[PurpleCrown]

At the age of 4. My oldest memory of dysphoria is from my first days of primary school. I didn't have siblings and going to school was kind of an eye opener to the difference between boys and girls. I remember watching a girl across me in the circle and wanting to be a girl too. I wasn't into dolls, but I liked other girly stuff alongside cars etc. and loved to identify with female characters in cartoon series.

5 are my earliest memories of it but it wasn't until puberty that it started to cause serious issues.

Before puberty I just wanted to be a girl. Puberty is when I really started having problems with my body.

[alexbb]

I am such a cliche, haha! Knew at 4 or 5, REALLY knew at 12, had been secretly wearing and sleeping in my sisters dressing up dresses for years by then, then got sent to boarding school and just had to crossdress in my imagination.... oh the conflicted emotions on being called pretty by another boy... wow!... did badly at school, was bullied and to my shame a bully, the GCSEs (did crap) A Levels (same) then college, uni, my face changed by puberty, made me very sad, 20s, dated loads of girls, overcompensating, was only interested in them if they were extremely good looking, got a job as a car designer, bought a flash sports car, imagining it all would make me a man. Depression, despair. 32, My mum got sick, I took stock and decided to go for it. Never felt happier. Cant wait to start HRT. Work as a prop designer in the movies, my hildhood dream so saving up the cash for my other childhood dream; FFS, and looking forward to the rest of my life, for the first time in my life.

[alexbb]

I buried it all with the mantra 'Yes, I wish I'd been born female, but I wasn't so get over it'

One thing is for sure, now aged 46, the dysphoria is terrible and undeniable.  You know what the really weird bit is though?  I know this will sound sooo dumb, but, although I have wished I was born female for as long as I can remember, I only recently figured out I actually AM female. I didn't even realize that was possible, does that make sense?

^That makes SO much sense its unreal!