I'm a Butch Woman. Do I Have Cis Privilege?

[Shana A]

I'm a Butch Woman. Do I Have Cis Privilege?
By Vanessa Vitiello Urquhart

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/12/26/do_butch_lesbians_have_cisgender_privilege.html

Last week, I was mistakenly misgendered in front of an auditorium of people. I'd gone to see a speaker at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, and during the Q&A period I was called upon by the nice lady doing the facilitating as "that young man, there, who has been waiting." An excruciating 30 seconds followed, in which it became obvious to everyone that I was a young woman, and the facilitator was visibly unsettled by that revelation. My voice tends to eliminate all doubt as to my gender—it's a woman's voice, and it gets higher when I'm nervous.

This is the sort of story that is often used as an example of the daily hardships associated with being transgender. As a gender-nonconforming woman, I share the frequent, uncomfortable reminders of my difference with the trans community. So, when I'm called cis by a trans advocate in a way that feels dismissive, or if anyone dares to suggest that I benefit from cis privilege, I can get a little hot under the collar. I start thinking things like, "Hey, this person has no idea what I've been through! How dare they say that I have any sort of privilege?" Occasionally, to my shame, I've even argued on the Internet about whether it makes any sense to say a butch like me has cis privilege.

The word privilege just seems to set people off, myself included. I've often thought that the connotation of luxury and ease, of waltzing obliviously through life while others struggle, makes it a word more likely to divide people than improve their empathy for one another.

[Ms Grace]

As a gender-nonconforming woman...

Dumb question, what's the difference between being gender non-conforming and non-binary?

[suzifrommd]

Dumb question, what's the difference between being gender non-conforming and non-binary?

Maybe not so dumb, since gender is complicated.

I'd answer that it involves the difference between a gender presentation (how you look), a gender role (how you exist socially), and a gender identity (which gender is wired into your brain).

Gender variant is someone either whose gender presentation or gender role differs from a large portion of the members of their gender. Someone like that may or may not have a gender identity that matches their body sex.

A non-binary person is one whose internal gender wiring doesn't place them firmly as a member of the male or female genders. Many non-binary people are NOT gender variant - the adopt gender roles and presentations that place them squarely among most members of one of the binary genders, even though they don't feel cleanly like a member of that gender. Likewise, many gender-variant people are binary-gendered - they see themselves as completely male, or completely female, but don't want to present or live socially the way most of the people of that gender do.

Does that answer the question?