Hi ladies
I'm new here, and quite nervous, but you all seem very friendly so here goes...before I start into anything else, I want to say thank you for everyone who's posted on this forum, on whatever topics. I've been lurking sporadically for years and this place comes up again and again as an invaluable source of information, support and good sense. As someone with no real-life support network, it's been a real help to me and I'm deeply grateful.
I'm going to be 40 next year (how it pains me to type that) and I've been transitioned for 21 years. I've been living in deep stealth ever since. Although I pass without issue in everyday life, I still see a masculine face every time I look in the mirror and - especially - in photographs, which I avoid like the plague. It makes me enormously sad and I've been thinking about FFS ever since I first heard of it. I now feel like it's something I really want to go ahead with but I have some concerns:
- First of all, I'm terrified of wrecking my face or making it look unnatural. It's not *awful* now, and it doesn't ruin my life, although I feel I would be much happier if it could be improved. It seems like serious accidents/complications are extremely uncommon but every surgeon seems to throw up a few horror stories if you dig deep enough. Did/does anyone else feel this anxiety? How did you manage it? Am I just being a stress-bunny for no reason (I am quite an anxious person by disposition)?
- Secondly, I'm worried about outing myself in retrospect by turning up with a new-ish face. I guess I can just pass it off as regular, albeit unusual, cosmetic work. Has anyone else coped with this or found an elegant solution? I suppose there's always the Andrew Ridgeley solution (a reference which will itself date me terribly) but it doesn't seem ideal. This is actually my biggest worry, silly as it seems (the same thoughts apply to Yeson, which is also something which haunts my dreams).
For the reasons outlined above, I'm focusing at the moment on Drs Spiegel and Bart as possible surgeons since they both seem essentially conservative and to deliver fairly natural results (as well as getting very good write-ups here, where some absolutely stunning results have been showcased). I'm trying to set up consultations now but I'm thinking I want some brow, chin and jaw work since those are the features that upset me. Everything else can stay as it is...I'm no-one's idea of a beauty but I look like me, which will have to do!
I realise this is a bit unfocused so please don't worry if no-one has anything to add, though of course I'd be delighted to hear from anyone who cares to reply. I'll look forward to hopefully chipping in on other threads as I find my feet!
Charlie xx
