I know firsthand how it feels to not have a good relationship with one's parents. I was the black sheep, the disappointment, the underachiever, the misunderstood rebel from another planet. I could never do ANYTHING without receiving sarcasm, ridicule or derision from them. Sometimes I'd change it up, do the opposite of what I had been doing and still receive the same sarcasm, ridicule and derision. My relationship with them for my entire life had been chilly at best. When I came out as trans, I tried to explain that this was the underlying cause of all of my problems. I didn't hear from them for a week and thought it was going to be all over, which, at the time, wasn't perceived to be such a great loss, and perhaps even a relief.
When my Mom called a week later, my mother basically said, "Your father and I have discussed this, and we have decided not to disown you. I don't understand why you need to go there, and by the way, don't ever tell X, Y and Z because they are (bigoted)."
Really, I mean disowning me was even on the table because they even value their relationships with the bigots? I almost disowned them, but I am so glad that I did not. In fact I did not burn a single bridge. Some people really do come around eventually, given their own time to process this. What drove it all home was when people noticed that I was actually happy and fun to be around for the first time. My parents finally "got it" when they saw me happy and smiling. My brain was running on the right fuel, and I was no longer that miserable, irritable, cranky person that they learned to barely tolerate. Some of my friends that initially said some pretty hurtful things, came back after they processed it all and are now some of my biggest supporters.
My relationship with my parents and some of my friends is better than ever now. I call my mother ten times more often than I ever did.
I'm just glad I never burned a single bridge. Maybe even Drunkles X,Y and Z will come back one day in their own time.
