Holidays

[SJ]

Hey all,

Christmas is coming up and I was just recently outed to most of my family. All of my aunts, uncles, and cousins know that I am FTM transgender, and with the exception of one, they all accept me (as far as I know). I have not seen or spoken to most of them, only an aunt and cousin whom live nearby, since they found out. I'm really nervous about seeing them face to face, all at once, knowing that they know. My grandparents whom host our Christmas gatherings do not know. I feel like it is going to be super awkward. I also don't want the holiday to be all about me or about trans issues, but at the same time I want to know how they all feel since I wasn't even the one to tell them I am trans. I'm really nervous that I'm going to be further outed to my grandparents, or that everyone will be making jokes that hint at my being trans (my family likes to make jokes about what bothers each other most....I know, we're so nice).

How do you guys deal with holidays and family gatherings?

[AttackDonut]

Hi SJ-

This may not help, but I would be thankful to be around my family during the holidays. For me, personally, I have no family left, so things like xmas are particularly hard for me. I do not believe there are going to be any easy answers for your situation, especially since you were outed before you were ready. I would find one who is accepting of who you are, and if anyone gives you grief, tell them "Aunt Em accepts and loves me for who I am" and leave it at that, the guilt should set in on them and perhaps they will change their tune.

Or you could get really lucky and find everyone is playing nice. Do let us know how it goes.
AD

P.S.
Something I just thought about, could you meet with them one on one before the holidays and talk with them? Might help if they see your side of things

[SJ]

Hello! I had a decent holiday.

A cousin said (a safe distance from my grandparents), "Hey there, fella!" the moment I walked in. He gave me a super long hug and said he missed me. His mother told me I should cut my hair again to help me pass, and that's about all there was in reference to my transness. It was a pretty normal Christmas, thankfully! My sister gave me a perfect-fitting button up that I'm having a hard time not wearing haha I put it on right after opening it. Everyone was chill and didn't treat me any different.

I also met another FtM! I knew him prior to transition and suspected his trans identity. He's only 17 but he's been on T for a few months now, so I'm jealous! I had a nice long discussion with his mom whom I am friends with and ended up coming out to her. She is super supportive but has a hard time with pronouns and name change. She said she doesn't mean to misgender him, but it's become so automatic to use her/she. It was kind of funny to listen as she went back and forth using male and female pronouns and name, she's trying so hard! She even gave me the name of their doctor and now I'm going to try for an appointment.

So, good holiday break!