Dear Parents (rant)

[Matthew]

Ugh. Feels like my parents dictate everything in my life, probably teenage angst but it's driving me crazy.

Over 10 months till I can legally move out and even then I'll need to save up for furniture for a flat. So need a rant.

Dear parents:
No, I did not talk myself into being transgender. That's stupid.
No, the computer is not to blame for me being transgender. Cutting of my wifi isn't going to make me cisgendered.
Telling me I can't have therapy because it's for people with real recognisable problems doesn't help anything.
Telling me it'd be easier to wear girl clothes because I have a girl's body doesn't help.
Using incorrect trans* stereotypes against me is not only stupid but doesn't help anything.
Being overprotective doesn't solve anything, or shield me from bad stuff. I can, and do still get drunk at school.
Just because you have qualifications doesn't mean that I don't know more than you on trans issues. If you'd listen you'd learn.
I don't have to be heterosexual or masculine to be trans. Gender expression, sexuality and gender identity are all different things.
Just because I didn't show obvious signs when I was younger doesn't make me any less trans. There were signs but you ignored them.
School grades aren't everything. Neither is my behavior. Turning off wifi doesn't help either of those things.
Susan's Place didn't make me transgender. Why do you think I came here in the first place?
Stop putting my feelings down to being a teenager.
Stop trying to relate how I feel to your teen years. The fact that you 'always thought it'd be fun to have a winkie' doesn't compare to my dysphoria.
Also : I know you started putting a timer on the wifi as punishment for asking for therapy, I'm not stupid. If you're reading this you're in denial, don't make that my problem. You're acting up because you're not ready for me to transition and blaming it on whatever, which not only makes me feel like crap but you'll never be ready, stop making it harder for me. I'm finally comfortable and happy with who I am, stop trying to make me miserable again. Thanks.

Probably the whiniest teenage post ever, really needed to rant ~

[Devlyn]

Big hug! I thought you did good. It's going to take them awhile to work through this. It's having to deal with our issues and then having to teach others that makes us such strong people. You are wise beyond your years, Matt.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Ms Grace]

Probably the whiniest teenage post ever, really needed to rant ~

Actually it was direct, coherent and to the point.

Sadly it doesn't sound like you'll be getting much support from them in the foreseeable future. It's not unusual for a lot of young people, cis or trans, to feel that their parents don't get them or care about their problems, but for them to deny you therapy because they think you don't have "a recognisable problem" is rather absurd!

Hugs.

[ChiGirl]

Not whiny at all. Perfectly spoken.  The very things I wish I could have said to my parents.

[Rainbow Dash]

If I could, I would give you a hug Matthew. I'm  sorry that you don't get the support you need and deserve. At some point I hope they come around. Don't give up on them. In time they can change. But, don't give in to them either. You know yourself better than they do. You seem to have a plan. Keep moving forward. We will be here to support you and cheer you on. I think your post is direct without being mean or trying to start a fight.

[mrs izzy]

Mister Matthew

Vent all you need.

Write all you need down just do not turn all that inside and close down.

Write down your goals that you need to make the 10 month change.

And we are here as you know for you to vent, yell and shoulder to cry on if needed.

Be strong man!

Hugs

[Matthew]

Thanks all. I have transition plans but I know they won't go do well when it comes to it. According to certain members of my family I've talked myself into being transgender, because that's the sort of thing I'd do apparently. I find when I'm trying to push forward with transition it ends badly and that's frustrating, so I need to vent sometimes. Ugh. Thanks again everyone

[suzifrommd]

Matthew, sorry I'm late to the party, but am I to understand that they are restricting your computer access?

That's really hostile and controlling. An anti-social move, really. Not the sort of thing one does for someone whom they respect.

Hugs. Give yourself credit for dealing with a very difficult living situation.

[ashley_thomas]

Matthew you are welcome to vent anytime. I know 10 months seems like a long time but you can do it.

I became aware I was trans at home years ago and hid it the entire time. I made it and plenty of your brothers and sisters here did too. 

It's hard and I don't want to diminish the pain you feel but you can and will get through this.  The life you want is too valuable not to persevere.

[Matthew]

Yeah suzifrommd, the wifi goes off at 11pm every night now, so I can't spend as long talking to people and apparently talking myself into being trans.

Dumb logic, I know

[stephaniec]

sorry your dealing with this. 10 months goes by fast then the rest of your life possibly another 80 years . Its sad I wish I could of got the help I needed early on , but then again because of the times they probably put me through a course of electro shock treatment. You'll be all right just try to be patient ,which is hard to do ,but once you gain your freedom it's such a different world

[ImagineKate]

Matthew my brother, I feel saddened by your situation. On the other side of the coin, there is light at the end of the tunnel, in about 10 months. Stay strong, and pretty soon as the young man you were meant to be you'll look behind at this in the rear view mirror and smile knowing you won.

[Tyler]

Stay strong. Just ten more months. Keep looking on the bright side. 

Great letter. I wish I had the courage to talk like that to my parents.