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Telling my job about surgery

Started by kenton_07, January 05, 2015, 06:54:53 PM

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kenton_07

Hey everyone,

I recently started a new internship and I am getting bottom surgery done in the summer. I didn't tell the company prior to accepting the offer because I was more concerned about getting the job since my surgery wasn't finalized prior to accepting the offer. I had hysto done over this past summer and I informed my old boss that I needed to have a surgery done and would be out for a few weeks. She understood and was fine about it. I didn't specify my situation because I am stealth. I just simply said something came up with my health and it needed to be taken care of. I thought about doing a similar approach with this new job but I can't tell them quite yet since I am so new. I just don't really know how to go about it. Any advice?
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campenella

Basically just say the same thing. I said I had a health issue that came up and needed surgery and that I'd be out for the 2 weeks. They took it great and I never bought it up afterwards. No one said anything to me, and if they asked I just said that it was personal. Good luck
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Arch

If this were a regular job, I would ask, "What's your probationary period?" At my old job (before I started teaching), we had a ninety-day probation during which we could be fired for any reason whatsoever. Some other companies have even longer periods. So I would tell you that under no circumstances should you bring this up before your probationary period is up.

However, an internship is a different matter. Is there a probationary period? How long is the internship for? Does it count for course credit at a school? If so, what does the school recommend? Would you be expected to make up the missed time if you were out for an extended period? Is any of this information covered in a contract or employee handbook?

I dunno, maybe I'm asking stupid questions. I don't know anything about internships.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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kenton_07

Quote from: Arch on January 05, 2015, 07:51:22 PM
If this were a regular job, I would ask, "What's your probationary period?" At my old job (before I started teaching), we had a ninety-day probation during which we could be fired for any reason whatsoever. Some other companies have even longer periods. So I would tell you that under no circumstances should you bring this up before your probationary period is up.

However, an internship is a different matter. Is there a probationary period? How long is the internship for? Does it count for course credit at a school? If so, what does the school recommend? Would you be expected to make up the missed time if you were out for an extended period? Is any of this information covered in a contract or employee handbook?

I dunno, maybe I'm asking stupid questions. I don't know anything about internships.

The internship can last until December 2015 if all goes well. I am employed at will meaning they can terminate my employment at any time. I am not using the internship for college credit so I don't have that issue. To me, this surgery is more important than any internship as it is life changing and will finalize my transition. I just like to be honest but the surgery was up in the air upon offer acceptance so I didn't want to ruin my employment chances by bringing up something that may not happen.
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SpiffyTiffy

In that case I would say do what will make you the happiest. In your shoes I'd chose the transition, but we are all different.

Is it paid? Do you need that income? There are a lot of factors to decide. The best one is the one you mentioned first, a sudden medical issue came up. PHI is just that private, need to know only. Was the company you work for rated by the HRC corporate index for being trans* friendly?


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Arch

Quote from: kenton_07 on January 05, 2015, 08:07:09 PM
To me, this surgery is more important than any internship as it is life changing and will finalize my transition. I just like to be honest but the surgery was up in the air upon offer acceptance so I didn't want to ruin my employment chances by bringing up something that may not happen.

It sounds like your mind is already made up that you WILL go through with the surgery. All the same, it's probably good if you can make it to the six-month mark before the actual surgery date, and you should probably give them a month's warning. But I am not sure.

In my experience, a lot of MTFs here (and not as many FTMs) have been and are in positions of authority. They may have good advice. You might start a new thread in the general trans boards and just ask in the subject line "Surgery--How Much Notice to Give My Boss?" Or, better yet (since a new thread on the same topic might be deleted due to the cross-posting rules), change the subject line here and ask a mod to move the topic to a more visible and gender-inclusive area.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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kenton_07

It is a paid internship but the money isn't a huge deal. I'm more worried about getting fired because I'll have to miss work. I plan on going to graduate school and I want to get recruited by a large firm during graduate school. If I get fired, I'm afraid that it will ruin my chances of making it to a big firm. I wouldn't really know how to explain myself to the recruiters about what went wrong with my previous job. It would also stink to not be able to use this internship as a reference during the hiring process.

How do I go about requesting that this gets moved to a general topic forum just so I can get even more opinions? I'm grateful for the responses thus far but I definitely wouldn't mind hearing more experiences. Thanks!
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Alexthecat

I was already at my job for a year but I just told them months in advance I was having surgery. Then I filled out the forms and stuff like that.

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Arch

Kenton, I'll move you to "Transsexual Talk" and see if you get some more hits. Also, let me know whether you do want a new subject line. You should be able to change the titles of your own threads, but we recently shortened the window for that.

The way I understand it, U.S. firms are not supposed to fire people because they have surgery and are out of commission for a number of weeks. However, I don't know exactly what the law says, and I don't know whether internships are different. If it's paid and is treated like a regular short-term job, that might make a difference. You might want to do some digging on employment law. It's good to start now while you still have time.

If it turns out that they can and do legally let you go because of the surgery, you can always explain that to anyone who interviews you and is wondering. But you might not want to initiate and call attention to it, and they might not ask.

Another thing--if you have an employee handbook, use it. My old handbook had a section for just this sort of thing. And the HR person should be able to help you and is not supposed to divulge your information to other people. However, I'm not sure what is considered private information beyond the obvious personal info; if you make a general inquiry to an HR person about the policy for taking time off for surgery, is he or she supposed to keep your inquiry confidential?

I suppose that your last resort might be to quit after six months, but that move might raise eyebrows later, too. It's probably better to risk being fired.

But seriously, too many variables. You need more information. Do more research. You might talk to the Transgender Law Center (I'm not sure whether they help people outside of CA) or another advocacy group, such as the National Center for Transgender Equality.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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LizMarie

I've not had surgery yet but now it's on the horizon. When I came out, I informed HR last year in March that surgery would be coming eventually. They understood. I'm planning to broach the surgery specifics this Monday.

My differences:

1. I've been here a few years.
2. I am in a fulltime position, valued, and proven myself to my manager.
3. They were informed far in advance.
4. I transitioned at this job so HR knows I am trans (though apparently a lot of employees don't, since I mostly work from home :D).

Your situation is different and I'm not sure what advice to give.
The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.



~ Cara Elizabeth
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kenton_07

Yeah the situation is definitely tough given that I'm just a student and it is only an internship. At my last internship, there were many interns and I was out during non-busy season (accounting world) so it wasn't a big deal. With this new internship, it seems like I'm going to be the only intern in our group. All of the people I work with have company laptops and typically work remotely a few days a week. I don't have that luxury but if there was a way they would give me that sort of access for a month, I could probably still work but from the state I'm recovering in. This is just one of those times where I wish I just didn't care like others I have met in the workplace. They typically do whatever they want and is best for them. I've just never been that person and I always try to take into the consideration how something in my life would affect others. I also have no idea how to tell my boss and I figure I'll tell her in March probably when all of the details are set.
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