Trying to come out to start the year right

[iwanttobemyself]

Hello everyone for the past few months its starting to eat at me more to come out. Since early on in my life i believe around age 9 i started to try on bras and panties. When i tried them on it just felt right. I started to come home from school everyday and wear them. Until i got caught by my mom one day. She questioned me about it and i denied it. I now regret denying it when i was much younger as i am now 22. I deal with depression which i take medication for daily. Every medication i take doesn't seem to help it any better then what is now. I believe that because of what i think about this everyday that it is making me more and more depressed. I want to come out and reach out for help. If i can get some advice and where to start. I just want to be myself.

[JoanneB]

Come out to yourself first. Find a for real real gender therapist or a local TG support group in order to get leads on therapist that are T friendly to hopefully have a clue. It seems that the therapist, or likely psychiatrist, you are currently seeing either A) Hasn't been told about your TG feelings; B) Hasn't a clue; C) Thinks the depression is from something else. Or, God help you, some GP is feeding you anti-depressents 

Full Disclosure - I have little faith in most doctors having worked with them professionally.

All that you may just is be a cross-dresser. Knowledge is power

[jeni]

What she said re: coming out to yourself first.

I'd just add that, while maybe it's just a glib thread title, don't focus on special events to dictate your schedule unless it serves your needs. There's no right time or rush to come out. Though, if you've decided what you need to do for yourself, sometimes a target can be a useful catalyst for facing a challenge. (I just came out to my father this afternoon, actually, and it wasn't totally unaffected by the holiday... but it was something I'd decided weeks ago needed to happen. It helped me not put it off any longer because it seemed like Jan 2 would be a really inelegant date.)

[Nervouspassanger]

I think my situation is very similar in ways. Antidepressants didnt really help and my lonliness built and built till I got to a point were I couldnt pretend anymore and I needed somone to know so I came out to my best friend, I know its only one person and I didnt tell him every little detail but it lifted such a weight off me and made me feel accepted.

[Sandy74]

For me personally I am making baby steps when it comes to me being transgender. I don't think for me I should rush to tell the world. The right people will find out at the right time.

[alexbb]

You dont need to feel ashamed anymore. At all. You have a medical condition, and it can be treated. it wont go away on its own but with medical intervention you can get it sorted and move on! Its fine to tell people in the same way it would be fine to tell them you have arthritis, or need glasses to drive. No shame, no regrets.

Once i stopped feeling ashamed about being transgender, I came out to everyone. it was fun. this was last week and so far everyones had a good laugh (it IS pretty funny!) and been lovely and supportive.
Quite a few even said congratulations! or that they are proud of me! I think youd be surprised how people will be overjoyed to see you so much less stressed.
Ive been ready to block anyone who was horrible but so far no one has!

Everyone has their own speed, but I like to just bulldoze through things at top speed haha, always have! Ill tell you something, going to a shop, buying clothes, hanging out as a girl with accepting friends, it feels SOOOOO good. Who cares if youre not a supermodel. I look scary, but I feel like a real, happy person. That seems more than worth it.


I found instant messenger was a boon for coming out. Rather than sitting people down and awkwardly telling them, and then watching them try to contain their reaction, you can carefully and honestly write a message, maybe include links to resources which might help, show you are happy and just push send! and its done! PHEWWWWW!
its actually super fun! also if you tell a few gossipy people, key nodes in your friend networks if you like, and make it clear you dont mind who they tell, theyll do the work for you. Maybe its hot gossip for 2 mins, then everyone moves on and doesnt care about you again! Good.

And they can compose themselves and respond. Not one has been mean, all have been awesome.
I made a blog to track my progress and use it to show people how much happier i am now as part of my coming out message. People always seem to understand. Maybe that is worth a shot. Good luck, you are stronger than you know after years of coping with chronic mental pain. Coming out disolves a huge amount of that pain. You will be fine!
http://b4and.blogspot.co.uk/