complete 180 (update)

[MelanieH74]

Hi girls,

I wanna thank you again for all your support a couple of days ago. It meant the world to me.

As things stand right now, I'm not trying to talk any more sense into my soon to be ex as it only causes arguments on her part and I don't want my boys to go through that anymore. Now that I have seen this side of her, I don't want to be married to her anymore either. Staying together for the boys would be counter productive and be more stressful on them.

She picked up the divorce packet 2 days ago and we are filling it out together Sunday. This way there won't be any surprises and we are BOTH satisfied.

We will get it notarized and turn it in on Tuesday.

She's giving me til March 22 to go and I'll use some tax refund money to help me get on my feet.  In the meantime, I'm looking for a job I'm able to do and maybe between her and my oldest son for transportation, I can start work and have an income before I go (wish me luck).

As of right now, I have located some studio/efficiency appts at a good price, most with pd utilities, so it looks like I'll probably be headed to Huntington, WV.  I'm in a rural location now with no car or licence, so being in town I at least will have the bus for transportation.  Worse comes to worse there are shelters there I can stay at for a while until I get on my feet and best of all, last year they passed a law against LGBT discrimination. There are also places for support as Marshall University has trans support groups, The Stonewall society is downtown and the city seems more trans friendly than where I am now.

BTW, if you want a chuckle, NOW my mother in law is being NICE to me and even calls me by my femme name.  Talk about another 180 sheesh

[ChiGirl]

Sounds like you've another 180. That sounds really good.  Make sure you fight for your entitled to, but it's good you're taking your boys' feelings into account. 
Good luck with the move.  And remember, you're never alone.

[stephaniec]

good luck

[MelanieH74]

Yeah, I've pretty much done a 180.  After seeing this side of her, the only reason I was wanting to save the marriage was for the boys.  After the realization of all she's put me through, including making me totally dependent on her, and psychological abuse I don't want to be married to her anymore either. (God, how did I stand 17 years)

At least I'll be able to call and see the boys sometimes, and the psychological strain on them will be eased

[MelanieH74]

Thanks Stephanie,

Kinda nervous about being on my own. Either I was married or living at home before.

[ImagineKate]

Good luck. Weight off your shoulders I'm sure. I grieved over my first divorce but I quickly got over it and I cherished my new found freedom,

[MelanieH74]

Kate, I understand the grieving.  I was married 4 years my first marriage and I grieved myself to death and lived inside a bottle for a while. This marriage drove me back to the bottle over these 17 years.  Heck, I have been married over half of my life. When I sought help and accepted myself, I have been off the bottle for almost 2 years.  Much longer staying here and I'd either be back on the bottle, or dead with a whole helping of low self esteem and 0 self worth.

I'm almost looking forward to leaving now that my head has cleared and maybe regain some self respect!