Mental effects of HRT on MtF?

[ValiyaDS]

Hey all,
It's been about seven or eight months since I first came to terms with my feelings. I have, all my life, had quite some aversion to generally masculine things, and so lately I have chased after those feelings and interpreted them. Now I am here. I have looked at HRT to some depth, and perhaps when/if I come out to my family, that could be an option. However, a certain aspect of HRT concerns me - that being the mental effects and changes to cognition that come with HRT. I have found some people saying it creates a massive change, some that it is subtle, some that it is a negligible, some that it completely changes you as a person. You have to sift through and evaluate how much of this is from the more wholly cognitive side of it, that these changes in personality and thought process are not from the effects of hormones. So the effects of hormones on thought process is what I'm getting at - if they are too extreme, that is a deal-breaker for HRT for me. I like my thought process, my ability to tackle a subject with little distraction, parametrically pull apart data, whole nights of sleeplessness filled with programming, philosophical and scientific research.
So I'm asking: is there any way, or any data to project from, to determine how drastic mental/cognitive changes might be? I sincerely hope I do not lose the way I think.

Thank you all for your responses,
    - Valiya

[Jill F]

Hi Valiya,

Welcome to Susan's Place and congratulations for finding us. 

There has been a lot said here about the mental effects of HRT.  For me, I felt better than I had in ages almost right away and I knew there and then that I would want to take it for the rest of my life.

Here's some quick links to help you along

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Hugs,
~Jill

[mrs izzy]

Welcome Valiya to Susan's family

So many topics to explore and posts to write

Safe passage on your path

[Violet Bloom]

  I don't think it's had any noticeable effects on my thought processes.  HRT just made me feel all-round better.  If anything it's allowed me to make better use of my mind now that I'm no longer consumed by misery and physical discomfort.  If you're already in a good-enough state of mind without HRT to even muse about 'scientific brainstorming' then you're in way better shape than I was before I started.  With a mind such as yours I don't think you need to be too worried.

  I hyper-over-analysed my situation, as any level-headed researcher would, until I ran out of hypotheses and excuses.  I don't regret my decision to start HRT not just because it made me feel better but also because I reached that conclusion based on sound judgment and exhaustive study.  You can see in my signature how long I've been on each hormone medication and then judge for yourself from the way I speak whether you need to be concerned about losing your 'faculties'.

[ValiyaDS]

Thanks Violet Bloom. Very helpful response.
I suppose the largest issue in predicting would be separating the effects caused solely by thoughts, and those caused solely by the HRT. Many changes may come with the relief, others with a change of concept, and still some directly by the effects of the hormones. Some of my research has suggested (I am a natural skeptic, so contradicting studies/data are welcomed) that some post-op individuals adhere to whatever their idea of male or female is. A hypothetical FtM individual whose concept of men includes an inherent liking to cars may find themselves post-op taking a liking to cars, despite men not having a natural affinity to vehicles. My concept of men and women is almost exclusively biological, as my family did not have any gender roles. Both my parents did some kind of work, they both cooked and cleaned, my mother did carpentry and my father was a musician. My sister was a martial artist and anthropologist, my brother a chemist. Gender/sex stereotypes did not work in my head, as when they came in from outside sources, my family shattered them. If the aforementioned tendency to adhere to a concept of male or female is a real phenomenon and not me getting bad data, then in my case, it would have a negligible effect, as men and women are entirely equal in my concepts. It took me some time to realize that other children calling me feminine as a child was supposed to be an insult - at first, I took it as commentary.

    - Valiya

[Violet Bloom]

  I think that my family and my parents in particular have been different-enough in that respect too, in other words open to everyone's fair access to equality, but in a way that is simply instinctive.  Thankfully we're living in an era when the cultural shift is actively in swing.  I mean, geekiness literally became pop culture, and the internet has brought together a critical mass of people that are comfortable having and openly expressing interests in things not typically associated with a particular gender.  I will note that I'm grappling slightly with the idea of being fully open about my hobbies and intellectual ways once I go full-time, but I know that it's always been more important to just be myself even if a lot of people won't 'get me'.  Through the transition process and all the introspection I've put myself through I've become almost fully at ease with this.