Bipolar and Transition

[Peacebone]

CW: Mental health, self-harm, suicide

I'm an FtM guy who has a bipolar diagnosis.

I don't get full blown mania, just hypomania, periods of euthymia ("normal" I guess) and longer periods of really bad depression. I can just about work when I'm low, but struggle with suicidal and self-harm thoughts and sometimes I have "paranormal" experiences and weird ideas. Regardless of this, I think I manage pretty well. I have my drinking under control, I work, I'm figuring out ways to lessen body image issues when I'm low and I kind of have a circle of friends.

I'm on a waiting list for the GIC and hope to one day take T. I'm kind of worried though, about the impact it will have on my mental health and was worried especially, if it would make me aggressive when in a hypomanic state because I work with disabled adults. I have only ever been aggressive when put on the wrong medication before and never hurt anyone, but I'm wary of it.

Do any other people here have bipolar disorder?

[Jeneva]

I have bipolar type 1 (full mania with paranoia).  I was not diagnosed until 2 years ago.  Looking back I can see aspects of it in my past life, but it took some really traumatic events to bring it forward as the monster it is today.  I had already had FFS and an Orchi when I was in the hospital and luckily I blended in just fine.  Dwelling on surgery for too long is a sure ticket to depression as is dwelling on my weight gain because of the anti-psychotics which prevents surgery even if I had the money or medicare approval right now.

Can't really speak to T effects, but you aren't alone.

T people have a much higher rate of mental illness than LGB which have a higher rate than the normal population.