I've always sought out sports where boys and girls played together: karate, cross country, ski team, water polo: we practiced with men and women together. And when water polo split into men's team and women's team, I didn't know why but I no longer felt comfortable being involved. I got really anxious when I tried out rugby; I was doing fine, but the all-girls setting felt SUUUPER awkward and I wasn't even questioning yet. All the years I've been really into outdoor activities, I have really enjoyed the company of co-ed group and hanging out without the trappings of societal pressure, and with no mirrors around. Sports bras 24/7. Since I was 7 or 8 and quit figure skating, I never ever did an activity that was all girls. I did a few sleep-away camps, but they were focused on outdoor sports so we were all a pretty adventurous atypical bunch. That's the only thing I can think of... and then I was so relieved when the camp organized a co-ed group. I just love that hiking is one of those things where I can keep up with the cis-guys, and that my body that I can hate so much sometimes can do so much.
I knit and stuff, so not all my hobbies are masculine; but my group activities definitely skew co-ed. And if there's anything that grounds me, it's coed hiking/backpacking/woodly pursuits. I'm starting to think that this made it easy to deny my feelings of discomfort about being female for longer.
Does anyone else feel this way, like they seek comfort in non-gendered settings? What hobbies or activities help you feel good about yourself?
