Just came out the "closet" needing a push in the direction of the start line

[stilldsameJax]

Hey all my name is Jaxson, Jax for short. I'm a female transitioning to male as of thanksgiving 2014. I've always kinda known that there was something wrong with how I felt in my body. I grew up a lesbian, a very butch one at that. Sort of the stereotypical definition of a lesbian. When people would mistake me for a guy my ego would get a huge boost. And it wasn't till I started college that I realized that there were more people with the same issues as me. Yeah I know you're probably thinking how could I go my whole life not knowing about this stuff with the internet and social media readily available. Well I'm a very reclusive person from a small town. And being in the military since I was 17 till 24 kinda helps keeping people in the dark ages. Anyways I got to college and joined the LGBT support group there and my mind was opened up to new stuff once I actually became friends with another FTM. Ok so beside that brief background story of mine, I need help with how to go about starting my transition. I've been binding my chest since October 2014, I came out to my friends as a trans man around the Thanksgiving time frame, and I've been only responding to male pronouns and my male name Jaxson or Jax. I have also been actively seeking out therapist with experience with transgender. Although the pickings are very slim cause I live smack dab in the middle of the bible belt, Lawton Oklahoma; I have gotten one therapist to respond to my emails or phone calls. The timing sucks due to the holidays and I was briefly out of the country for Christmas, but I have returned and jumped right back into the search for help. So basically what I'm asking of you all is some more advice and/or general help on the whole how-to-transition. Thanks and sorry for the long winded story.

[Ms Grace]

Hey Jax

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

It sounds like you have some of the basics off to a great start. I'm not able to offer any suggestions for therapists or support groups in Oklahoma, but maybe there is an online option available? Hopefully some of the others who live in that area can help.

Please check out the following links for site rules, helpful tips and other info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Cheers

Grace

[adrian]

Hey Jax, welcome! If it's any consolation, personally, it took me until nearly forty to figure out I was a gay transguy .

I think you're taking the right steps and, wow, you have come far in just a few months! Finding a therapist is important, I'd say. If you cannot find one who "specializes" in gender stuff, see if you can find an open-minded "general" therapist. This is about helping you solve any problems you encounter as you transition, and helping you to make sure you are doing the "right thing" at the correct pace. Every good therapist willing to educate themselves a bit on trans* could do that. I mean, I'd go for the specialist if the option exists, but it's not the end of the world if you can't find someone. I'm not with a specialist, and there are some bumps once in a while, but it works ok.

I'm not in the US, so I can't say anything about more "practical" stuff, like name changes etc.

[Dex]

A therapist is definitely a great place to start. If you are interested in hormone therapy, you will likely need to see a therapist first anyway, depending on the doctor you choose. The therapist I saw did not specialize in gender identity but did reach out to contacts to help her with things like the letter of recommendation for hormones and things like that. The doctor I see for my hormones is a general family practice doctor but she does specialize in trans patients. She required that I have 3 months of therapy, the letter of recommendation, and a full physical before she would initiate hormone treatment. Any colleges nearby may be a good place to look for information. I'm 31, but was able to get trans resources from the local college that included the physician I see now for my hormones.

I'm in the Midwest as well (wisconsin) so it can sometimes be a little trickier to find resources that are close to you.

[King Malachite]

Hello, Jax, welcome to Susans!!!!

As far as the "how-to's" for transitioning, well, that is completely up to you.  You can choose to take testosterone first, or you could jump right into top surgery, if that is your goal.  I do agree that a therapist would be the best place to start.  If you are having a hard time finding a therapist in your area, then I highly suggest looking into online therapist. If you know you want to start testosterone right away, then maybe search for an informed consent clinic.  I would also check into some possible Facebook transgender groups in your area to see if they can guide you to some helpful resources.

[Bimmer Guy]

Here are some good therapist listings:

https://www.susans.org/Healthcare/Therapists_and_Counselors/USA/Oklahoma/

http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html

I worry about people using psychology today as often there are people other than the therapists choosing which boxes get "checked off" on the therapists' ads.  Many trans people talk about calling therapists on that site who didn't even realize their advertisement had the "transsexual" box checked off.  Call to see if people are truly gender therapists if you see a box checked.

The therapist listings above are people who requested to be listed as a gender therapist on trans sites.

[JayDawg]

https://www.facebook.com/lawtonprideoklahoma/info Might be a good place to ask for recommendations local to you.

I started with therapy, then very slowly came out to family, friends, and co-workers. Next was my legal name change, then I started T, and 3 months later got top surgery. Therapy is the place to start, but the rest can be in any order you're comfortable with on a timeline of your choosing.

I found it easier to come out to people when I could preface it with "I've been seeing a therapist for gender dysphoria." It immediately set the tone that I was SERIOUS about it enough to be in therapy. It also helped my confidence knowing that I had a professional on my side through out. And I will keep seeing her at least once a month (tomorrow, in fact!).

Jay

[stilldsameJax]

Sorry been real busy with work and family stuff. My little sister is about to pop out her first baby, I'm gonna be an uncle!! Anyways thank you all for the hand. I feel so overwhelmed (in a good way).  I have already emailed a few therapist around my area and gotten a few responses. Had to resort to email because my dog that it would be awesome to knock my phone into the toilet. But I do know that its better to have a few options when it comes to therapy. The first person available isn't always the best option, something about you should feel comfortable with the person in order to get the help you need. So on that note I'm still "shopping" around, and the help you all have given me is definitely appreciated. Ok well off I go to check out this list Brett gave me!! Jaydawg, I was actually part of Lawton/Ft. Sill Pride before they shut the group down due to some financial issues.