Advice

[Randommaturetransgirl]

Im planning on coming out in 3 months on my birthday (11th for those who are curious and don't worry about my age as i have been mistaken for a 16 year old before because of how mature i am) as we will all be relaxed and i am looking for advice on the subject. I want to know weather to take it slowly or just go out with it and tell her bluntly and afterwards giving her time to cope with it so i want to know alot about what to do before my mum/mom thinks i am a weirdo.

[Monika the diva]

If i were you, i'd sit down with your mom first. Dad's aren't easy to deal with when it comes to this topic. If I were you I would make your mom some toast and have some tea and enough time to discuss your feelings and how you feel. And tell her who you really are once you get that out in the open and you allow her into your heart things will get harder but at least you will not be alone. Mom's most of the time will be your bigger supporters it's very rare for a mom to be an opposing member or a wild card. If your parents are very loving people they want the best for you and most importantly they want you to be happy.

Good luck and knock'em dead.

[Ms Grace]

I would agree with taking it easy with her, an in your face approach may be counter productive for everyone.

Also, what will you be saying? You don't have to write a script but just saying "I'm trans" will probably not accomplish a lot, especially if she isn't that aware of the issues and needs. At the very least request to see a counsellor so they know you want to take the path seriously. Tell them what you understand about what is involved and how else yo might like to proceed.

[ImagineKate]

My therapist's advice is to use a letter. I found her advice to be very good. I was hesitant to use the letter, but I found it effective.

She recommends being straightforward but not really going into details. She has a few points:

Focus solely on coming out
Do not try to explain what causes transsexuallity (nobody knows for sure, not important at this point)
Emphasize it's not their fault
Tell them your love won't change
Don't detail plans like hormones, surgery etc.
Let them sit on it for a week

As for the reaction, don't be discouraged by a negative reaction and give them time. Positive reactions are obviously good.


Here is her blog posting:

http://tgmentalhealth.com/2009/12/26/thoughts-on-coming-out-as-transgender-to-family/