Dysphoria Changes after Realising You're Trans*

[Tessa James]

Gender dysphoria for me got progressively stronger year after year.  I would try and forget about it with a million projects and distractions but she would not let up.  It felt like a tremendous relief to finally give up on the man act.  Accepting myself as trans felt incredibly freeing and empowering.  I further realized that my shame and isolation were magnifying my fears.  Now going on two years of HRT I feel much better.   My body has changed nicely, However, I have greater dysphoria about my genitals that feel even less like an appropriate fit.  Bottom surgery is being pursued as I challenge the exclusion riders of the insurance industry.  It is a long haul process for us with no guarantees about those illusive goals some have.