So... I actually came out to one of my friends, yesterday. Someone I know online who I met while we both contributed to this one website. I was turning down a spot he offered me on his site because, really, the subject matter of the columns I would be asked to write about are a subject I don't feel comfortable talking about. He wanted me to talk about my past experiences as a writer and behind the scenes guy for local wrestling promotions, and I don't have good stories from that period. To keep it brief, it's almost as traumatic a period in my life as school was, and I don't like talking about it.
Anyway, I'm telling him all of this, and then I tell him that "I'm not healthy, like, mentally." and go on to say that there are things I need to do now that I've put off for a long time, things I need to do to make myself better. And he was incredibly supporting about that, so much so... I kind of took a chance.
I didn't even really think that long about it. I just figured, "I should probably go all the way with this. He deserves to know what's really up." And so I send him the Facebook profile I have set up as Daria and told him that I was trans. And that when I was saying I wasn't healthy, I meant that I had been living a lie for so long, I honestly don't know what else to be. That, to me, isn't healthy. And he was, like, really really cool about it.
So, sure, it's not like coming out to friends or family. Something that may need to happen sooner than I thought, because some of the people I've met online who are part of my local LGBT community have a few mutual friends (people I've known were gay for like, ever, but only know me as a male), and if I'm going to be out of my house, or hell, even my bedroom, and being Daria, even if I'm not presenting properly (which I likely won't right away), it's going to get back to them eventually, and the last thing I want is for this to spread in my social circle without having some control over it. The one mutual friend is real close with what is, essentially, my best female friend in the world right now, and the fact is that I'm nowhere near ready to tell her. Her husband would totally NOT get it, and while he wouldn't be super hateful about it, he'd be a problem.
But yeah. Came out to a friend, and I was lucky that it was a friend who made it easy and has little repercussion on my day to day life, SO it's really not as big as I may be making it out. But, like, I actually came out to someone. I didn't even think I'd be able to do this for months, maybe even years.
