Strange Realization

[Lady_Oracle]

So I'm like obsessed with my boobs and have been doing a bunch of reading about bra sizing, there's so much info about finding the proper size and what kind bras fit best for your type of breasts. I'll make a separate thread for that since it would be super beneficial to so many of us, so yeah anyways moving on... I'm quite happy with how I've developed so far and especially since they matured a bit more within the past 6 months or so. I've seen pics of cis women with similar areola and breast size, so the dysphoria with my chest is pretty much gone. What's weird is that I keep wanting to make them bigger despite how comfortable I' am with their size. Its like this nagging thought in the back of my mind. I feel like if I had a bigger bust I'd feel/be even more feminine but Im already as fem as you can get body wise so I realized earlier today that the reason why I'm having this reoccurring thought is because I'm still dealing with my bottom dysphoria. So I guess my dysphoria is manifesting with this thought that having bigger boobs for some reason would compensate for not having the right plumbing yet.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I do plan on having bottom surgery in the near future, its just that until then I'm not gonna feel completely whole. This strange disconnect with my bottom gets to me at times and especially now that for the first time in my life I have someone I can be physically intimate with, it just makes me realize how I wont ever be comfortable mentally and physically until I have grs. The further I go in my transition the worst my bottom dysphoria becomes it seems cause when I started transition 5 years ago I didn't have such a strong need for grs.

[Jade_404]

Maybe the bigger they get at some point will be so big you can't see you feet, let alone the other bottom stuff. Maybe you are right and your brain is trying to compensate. Interesting.

-Jade

[Lady_Oracle]

Yeah but thanks to my heavy pelvic tilt I don't ever see it when I look down so I can go all day without seeing it. The image of it doesn't get to me as much as how I feel down there, its such an odd feeling its tough to describe.

(TMI) when I get erections, its really painful and I'm pretty much about to give up on sex completely because of that issue.

[Wild Flower]

I get it. I feel like I need to make my butt and hips wider to compensate for broad~enough shoulders.

Breasts dont need to be huge for me in my opinion to pass. Paris Hilton has large feet and non existant breasts... yet shes confident in her uniqueness. She didnt get a nose job either. In my opinion thats beautiful. Other women would change that to fit with society. But then again, i think she likes being a waif like Audrey Hepburn.

[stephaniec]

my breasts are doing pretty good at 15 months , but I do fantasize bigger all the time

[katiej]

It could also be our societal conditioning that bigger is better...especially having been socialized as boys.

[Lady_Oracle]

Oh yeah I get that about passing but this isn't a passing issue for me. Its just a thought that's been growing in the back of my mind. My rib cage is pretty small so my breasts look great despite them being a cups and I do have semi broad shoulders but still within range of cis women my height. I guess looking at it from a different point of view (other than my bottom dysphoria) I'm like any other girl wanting bigger boobs because I think it would make me feel better about myself. I was looking into breast augmentation through fat transfer since that method has a much more natural aesthetic to it vs implants. Idk though, I'm gonna hold off on seriously considering breast augmentation until I have grs.

It could also be our societal conditioning that bigger is better...especially having been socialized as boys.

I really wasn't ever socialized as a boy. My upbringing was pretty neutral and hands off with how my parents raised me and my sister. It would of been a different story had I been raised in puerto rico though. I also always ended up hanging out with other girls mostly growing up too. The socialization factor in my transition has actually been the easiest part for me. Its this physical stuff that's been a roller coaster ride, so many ups and downs. I'm just happy to finally be past the awkward puberty phase I had going on in the first few years of hrt. I didn't my spend adult life in the male role either, started transition at 20. I think if I had waited another 10 years to transition than yeah that social part would of been really hard. I caught myself just in time thankfully.

[Jennygirl]

I recently looked into BA from fat transfer, it seems like there is some controversy around it. Apparently the fat likes to calcify there and it can be very hard to detect breast cancer because the calcified fat looks exactly like cancer cells. Additionally, it seems like several phases are necessary to get a sizeable augmentation- unless you just wanted to go up about 1 cup size, in which case it would likely be enough.

[lilredneckgirl]

well,  going  back  to  my  transition,  I  got  some  really  good  advise  from  my  shrink.
  he  told  me  that  feelings  like  your having  are totaly  normal.  he  called them  the quick  fix  stuff.    but  they  dont  solve, as you  say,  the  plumbing  issues. 
  so  before  you  install  new  floors  and  siding,  fix  the  plumbing  issues. 
  only  then  can  you  make  informed  choices,  on  how  you  see,  and  relate  to  the  perceptions  you  have  of  your  body. 
  I  have  a post  op friend  in  texas.  pre  op,  she  had  " DD'  boobies  implanted.  then  off  to  srs.   now,  no  money  left  for  surgeries,  she  regretting  that  choice  to  look  ' more feminine'  in  the  short  term  and  stuck  ,  at  least  for  now,  with  "DDD'  {  yep  they  grew  a  bit  on  hrt,  }  that  make  life  difficult  for  her  in  many ways.   

[Jenna Marie]

Perhaps similarly, I felt that the bigger my breasts got the more it "balanced out" my issues with my nether regions; partly, literally, because my breasts were constantly visible/noticeable to me and that thing wasn't, so my brain spent a lot more time processing "boob inputs" than the other. And it helped.  Also, I don't know if Jade was kidding, but - 42DDD did make it  impossible to look down there for me too.

I'd definitely give it a few years before considering augmentation, too; 5 years on HRT next month and I'm not quite done growing, though by now I think it's mostly fat depositing there.

[ImagineKate]

Breasts really aren't a big deal for me (pun intended). I mean they're nice to have and all but I don't want gigantic ones... That said I'm already at 34b and I'm still early in. I may be a C or D or bigger? Mom is a DD.

[Lady_Oracle]

I recently looked into BA from fat transfer, it seems like there is some controversy around it. Apparently the fat likes to calcify there and it can be very hard to detect breast cancer because the calcified fat looks exactly like cancer cells. Additionally, it seems like several phases are necessary to get a sizeable augmentation- unless you just wanted to go up about 1 cup size, in which case it would likely be enough.

Yeah I would only want to go about one cup size larger, which would put me at a 32c I think. As far as breast cancer is concerned I don't have any family history of it, so I think the odds of me getting it are pretty low.

I'd definitely give it a few years before considering augmentation, too; 5 years on HRT next month and I'm not quite done growing, though by now I think it's mostly fat depositing there.

Oh I'm definitely waiting, like I'm not gonna seriously consider breast augmentation till after I'm postop. Also I'm a few months shy of 3 years in and I'm still seeing growth. So yeah breast aug is like way far in the future for me. Then again I'm not ever get it cause I'm pretty happy with my natural curves.

well,  going  back  to  my  transition,  I  got  some  really  good  advise  from  my  shrink.
  he  told  me  that  feelings  like  your having  are totaly  normal.  he  called them  the quick  fix  stuff.    but  they  dont  solve, as you  say,  the  plumbing  issues. 
  so  before  you  install  new  floors  and  siding,  fix  the  plumbing  issues. 
  only  then  can  you  make  informed  choices,  on  how  you  see,  and  relate  to  the  perceptions  you  have  of  your  body. 
  I  have  a post  op friend  in  texas.  pre  op,  she  had  " DD'  boobies  implanted.  then  off  to  srs.   now,  no  money  left  for  surgeries,  she  regretting  that  choice  to  look  ' more feminine'  in  the  short  term  and  stuck  ,  at  least  for  now,  with  "DDD'  {  yep  they  grew  a  bit  on  hrt,  }  that  make  life  difficult  for  her  in  many ways.   

Yeah you see that's exactly what I've been thinking, great therapist you have there! Thanks for the insight cause I was starting to feel like I was bananas again. Yeah I definitely don't want to end up with huge boobs then have to deal with even more back problems cause they can grow even larger over time due to hrt.