Sure sign that one has GID?

[Katelyn]

For an MTF:  If you have long hair and keep a relatively androgynous presentation, and if you cut your hair even to shoulder length, you get a lot of anxiety and an ugly feeling, and possibly a sense of loss.

I'm not out and I had very long hair and when I cut it to just below shoulder length, I had a surge of anxiety and a sense of loss and had to talk myself that my hair will grow again, because I was seeing my appearance as more male in the mirror and it was bothering me.  I can only imagine that my gender dysphoria would be uncontrollable and I'd go mad if my hair was cut short.

[LoriLorenz]

Pretty clear to me! As FTM I feel awesome with short hair and the longer it gets, the worse I feel.

[Jessica Merriman]

One sure sign is if you question your gender in the first place.

[Jill F]

One sure sign is if you question your gender in the first place.

And I did that most days, sometimes several times a day.  Before I finally "popped" I did it almost all day long and cried a lot.

[Jennygirl]

This is a really good read, my gender therapist had me read this as homework after the first session. It ended up being a pretty huge stepping stone to coming out to myself.

http://web.uvic.ca/~ahdevor/Witnessing.pdf

I felt the anxiety too, for similar reasons and then some others too. I think it's common when we grow up fearing what we really want in life due to shame society places on us. A really good step is letting go of the shame and learning how to listen to yourself deeply. It's almost like there are layers upon layers from years of societal counter-influence, but eventually you will break through. And if your experience is anything like mine, memories of anxiety will probably start to click in rapid succession- laying waste to the shame and feeling of anxiety in the first place. Aka: "ah-ha!"

Coming out to yourself brings a whole new lease on life. It's both the hardest and most rewarding part of the whole process, imo.

[Seras]

Questioning your gender is not a sure sign. There is no sure sign. The only thing that really comes close is a persisting sense of being the wrong gender physically and wanting to be the other (assuming binary). With various disparate symptoms. For me it was anxiety and a pervasive sense of apathy about all things to do with myself.

[Tessa James]

I can readily relate to long hair issues as one of many clues that connected the dots to transgender for me.  I so wanted to have long hair as a kid and could not understand why I was different than my brothers about those buzz cuts.  Oh i cried every time.  As an adult I maintained long hair and that androgynous presentation for decades.  I made one last attempt to man up in 2008 and cut my hair for what was my last male haircut ever.  Hair length and style are key indicators for that rapid gender identification humans are so capable of.  Seems quite understandably a trigger for dysphoria to be a girl with a traditional guy cut.  Sure sign?   Meh, I missed all of them so i don't feel like a reliable source of certainty.  I might add an annoying bit of PC by saying GID is old stuff.   We have graduated from our "disorder" to mere dysphoria

[Jade_404]

I really think you are on to something with this hair / dysphoria connection. I don't have body hair but I understand that is a huge dysphoria issue for many MtF.

I can relate to the feeling of anxiety and dread when my hair was cut short (a little below the shoulder) 20 years ago, before I ever though about trans issues. Sure in the back of my mind the thoughts were there but I was far too busy (and in denial) to address them. My girlfriend at the time had been hinting I needed a trim. I did need one, the ends were dead and it was looking unhealthy. WARNING: Do not let a girlfriend/friend near your hair with scissors especially if you both have had a few to drink! She said she was going to take off an inch, took 10 inches, and fast!  Too fast to stop her! I lost all trust in her forever at that moment. I was in shock! For a long time. I felt exposed, I looked weird, felt awkward around people, looked horribly ugly. Every time I would run my hands thru my hair or brush it and it got to the end I could feel my heart drop. I even cried. Yes there was this true feeling of loss.

My hair has been long since I was brave enough to tell my grandmother "NO! I am not getting a haircut!" I think around age 10. She used to get us (brothers) a haircut every time we saw her, twice a month. "Lets go to the barber and get you guys a "Boys" haircut, that will be fun right!?" Those dreaded words, and EVERYTIME we visited we had to get a cut. A "boys" haircut back then was a buzz cut, I would cry before going and cry when getting buzzed. My grandma and brothers would call me names and laugh at me crying, saying "Why are you crying you wimp, sissy (add other derogatory terms), your hair can't feel pain its dead... bla bla bla " One day I finally said "Don't touch my f***ing hair ever again!" I think I even ran away for part of that day. Never again did I get a "boys" haircut.

Short hair has just never felt right to me. When people would ask why I had long hair I'd tell them, "Well, if it was meant to be short it would grow like that, same way my eyebrows do." No one ever had a comeback to that.

I had mentioned to my therapist that I felt like having long hair all these years has helped to lighten my dysphoria and made it somewhat bearable all this time. If I had been forced to cut my hair in the last 30 years I probably could not of even looked at myself and would not be able to touch my head... it would be devastating to me, unbearable.

When ever I mention cutting my hair short to anyone these days, they gasp in horror. They all say I would not be me without my hair and it would be too weird. Everyone except my dear old Grandma, when I visit her she still, every time asks when I am going to cut the long hair off, says I would be such a hansom man if I did. EVERY SINGLE TIME I VISIT. Like clockwork. I either respond by saying loudly "NEVER!" and then smiling and laughing or by speaking her exact words as she says them. I even use a whiny girl voice to mock her. hahahaha  I tell her "just forget it" and then steer the conversation away from the hair.

So yes! I do believe hair is related to how we perceive and feel about ourselves and maybe a way many deal with dysphoria. I would go mad if mine were cut too. I once got in a fight with a huge guy at a party, he was shaving heads of people that had passed out. I was not asleep just chilling with my eyes shut and he tried to buzz my hair. I jumped up and took the clippers, started freaking out at him (I had gone mad), I was fast and he was startled. Thats when I learned that he had shaved a few other people at the party. I kicked the living ->-bleeped-<- out of him with the help of three bald drones. It felt like a scene from fight club. I left and the baldies were still kicking his ass. One was a friend from school, he had awesome long hair, he must been passed out hard because his eyebrows were shaved too. I felt so bad for him, at school the kids were relentless with the picking on. I would of lost my mind if I had been shaven.

-Jade

[Cin]

For me there's no 'sure sign', but 'first sign' of GID is consistently questioning about your gender to the point where you start seeking for people who're going through the same identity crisis that you can relate to (online or offline).

[Lady_Oracle]

There were many moments I had as a kid where I would start crying or just become really sad/aloof as soon as I saw my hair cut. There was this one memory that coincidentally popped into my head the other day. My dad took me to get my hair cut and as soon as I saw my hair I started sobbing like you wouldn't believe. I ran out of the place, I was so embarrassed cause that super cuts was packed with people. I think I was like 12.

[Stevie]

I have had my hair long since the 70's, it is something that has provided me solace for many years. I also remember the dreaded regular boy's cuts; I hated those so much I would be so upset after getting one of those. My four older brothers would then seize on the opportunity to tease and harass me to the point of tears. Still have not gone into a barber shop since I was thirteen.

[ameliato]

From 2008-2010  (29-30 yoa) I grew my hair out for the second time in my life. I told people it was to donate it to try and not draw suspicions. After two years of growth and now past my shoulders, my then GF, now wife, made me cut it off. We took tons of photos of the process and some video.

In the pictures I look heartbroken and sad. Have a total look of defeat on my face. I never realized how crushed I would be when that day came. Almost 5 years later and balding very rapidly, I feel even more pain from that day now. It was almost like a part of me was lost.

I didn't understand what was going on at the time in full, and also had some denial about it still. Now having come out to my wife and a friend as well as therapists, I totally understand my dysphoria. I regret not addressing it sooner in life, but am happy I finally have taken it upon myself to just be me. Now if only I could reverse my balding.