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Started by CeeCee1973, January 22, 2015, 08:16:37 PM

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CeeCee1973

Hi! I'm new here and have a few questions. My SO told me Thanksgiving weekend that he/she is transgender. It's all new to me and I have questions, concerns and fears. We have been together for a little over 2 years. I trust her but I'm afraid that she is being completely honest with me about things. It feels like she is still keeping things from me and I hate this feeling. When I try to talk to her about how I'm feeling, it's like she doesn't understand. We have known each other since high school so for over 20 years I have only known her as a male. I want to know the woman she is but it feels like I have to drag it out of her. I'm finding her to be very secretive about it and it makes me wonder if I'm over reacting to nothing or if I should try harder. I love her but I'm feeling kinda alone. Any advice would be great!!!
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blueconstancy

Welcome!

It's possible she's still afraid of telling you everything, since it can be hard to spill a secret that's been desperately kept. But she also may not know herself; when my wife came out to me, she really had no idea where she was planning on going with that revelation yet.

My advice would be (and kind of always is, heh) to try to communicate as much as possible. :) Tell her that you want to know the woman she will become, but you wonder why/what she isn't sharing...

Good luck, and my other piece of constant advice is that a happily ever after is usually possible in a relationship where both partners are still in love and still working at it.
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gabimoneratt

Hi there  :)
Sometimes, for fear of rejection or fear of being judged we hide stuff from those we care about. It might still be too soon for her to open up completely as she might also fear that something might make you wanna leave her. Give her some time, make sure she knows you are 100% suportive and that she can tell you everything. Sometimes we need our time to be able to open up and truly be ourselves(specially we those we don't wanna lose) and sometimes, as mentioned, we might still be trying to figure out who we are.
Wish you two the best  ;)
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Embrace

I would suggest that you show her your post, or at least share with her the feelings and concerns you expressed within it.

Open communication in both directions is key. 

Showing her that you're willing to tell her how you feel may also prompt her to open up more about how she feels.

Best wishes to both of you! :)
embrace
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CeeCee1973

Thank you all for the advice!!! We have talked since I posted this and we both know that it is going to take communication. She knows how I'm feeling and I know how she is feeling. I do know it is going to take time but she knows that I'm willing to as she put it "go down this path with her." Again, thanks for the advice and giving me a place to kinda vent about what I was feeling.  :)
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JoanneB

Quote from: CeeCee1973 on January 24, 2015, 10:14:32 AM
Thank you all for the advice!!! We have talked since I posted this and we both know that it is going to take communication. She knows how I'm feeling and I know how she is feeling. I do know it is going to take time but she knows that I'm willing to as she put it "go down this path with her." Again, thanks for the advice and giving me a place to kinda vent about what I was feeling.  :)
The only thing that has kept my marriage intact these past 6 years after dropping the T-Bomb has been plenty of open and honest communication. In other words for me a totally foreign concept. But deep down inside I had to for the "Us" and especially for her. The hardest thing about it is avoiding TMI followed by not having a for real solid honest absolute answer or visions. Being trans all your life is one thing. Doing something about it is totally unknown territory. Where you might eventually wind up is unknown. Sure makes it hard to answer pointed questions. Doing a dump and spitting out all the noise running in your head is sometimes not a good idea
.          (Pile Driver)  
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(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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mrs izzy

CeeCee,
Welcome to Susan's family.
There are many here that can offer information to help.
Check out our Significant other boards https://www.susans.org/so/index.html
So many topics to explore and posts to write.
Pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for site info...
Stay safe and healthy passage on your path, popcorn?

Izzy
Forum News: new for our members under 18 a new safe place just for you. Youth talk.
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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