WHY ARE WE HERE?

[orangejuice]

So I just got home from a friends birthday drinks and as usual when I even remotely touch alcohol these days I'm depressed as balls. I just have this feeling-'why are we here?' I mean we are all just a bunch of molecules floating about space, what is the point of it all? Maybe it's coz I'm trans but maybe im just a weirdo. I NEED to know why. I pray to something, I don't know what, God? maybe..but whatever I pray to a higher power every night to show me something I don't know about the universe and our existence that will make me not want to kill myself. I'm a good person.... I think I am anyway.... But I'm so unhappy... Maybe for selfish reasons.... I mean i was born into a good family, I haven't wanted for anything in life, others are born into poverty and disease, they die before they even have a chance.. what is fair about that? And I have every advantage in life and I'm miserable. Sometimes I feeli like I'm just ->-bleeped-<-ed up and no one can help me. Sorry I'm just a few drinks deep and looking for help. If anyone is religious.. Seriously please reply to this. I find religious people fascinating. Sometimes I just want to find one and pick their brains, but I don't have any in my life..I want to believe in something so bad. I want to know there's something more to life... But you know look at the evidence. i want to believe in religion so bad but when I try its just like....that's dumb. Maybe we just haven't figured it out as a species yet, maybe we never will... But I just wish I could wake up and not have this on my mind. That I could just worry about my next pay check like normal people seem to do. And then the shame kicks in about being too spoiled in life. Sorry. I'm a little drunk. Serious post though.....

[AbbyKat]

I'm religious but I don't think hearing me explain my specific path will help you to find your own.

Instead, I'll tell you about my 6-year-old daughter's religion.  It's called "love".  She knows there's something all-important that works like a cosmic fateful glue to keep everything in a macro-harmony.  Her explanation of it is much simpler but, when pressed, she describes it pretty much like that.  It's "love".  When she prays with me or her mother, she may say "god", "goddess", "angels" but she says that god/ess is "love".  Love is what she trusts.

Now, if that was all she ever knew and never lost her faith in Love, she would never be at a loss for explaining the reason we are here.  We are here because Love needs us to be here and because we want to be here.  You may not know you want to be here but you do.  Love will drive you to discovery and your purpose. 

I totally agree with her.  I hope you feel better tomorrow and check in with us.

[orangejuice]

Ye that's cool. Sometimes I think it's all about Love. I mean love lasts. It's the only thing that does. When my Gran died I remember thinking.. It's sad she's gone but she's always there.. Maybe just as a memory.. Maybe more? But she is  always there because I love her. And my Mum loves her. And my grampa loves her. . And we all remember her. But what about when everyone who knew her dies? I don't think that is the end, I really don't, I think there's more to life than we can understand.. But I'm just so unhappy in this life..here and now.. That I feel like I need to know for sure.. So that I can grin and bear it.. Get on with life and appreciate all the advantages that I have been given and not obsess about this trans thing. I really am unhappy. But I'd never kill myself ..that doesn't mean I don't want to though. Sometimes I wish I was able to do it. I mean maybe I get another chance at life as a girl? But maybe killing yourself is such a sin. And that is really how I feel. I could never do it. So im just destined to love a life unhappy. But anyway thank you for the reply and don't worrybik not going to do anything stupid.

[JoanneB]

Why are we here? For me this is all a day in school with the final grade yet to come. I believe we incarnate after first agreeing to what life problems we want to tackle. We wouldn't be given them or allowed to tackle them if we weren't able to handle it, to sort it out. Which does not necessarily mean we will. Like any other exam. Along the way we need to pass on what we know and help others on their journeys.

[stephaniec]

well, personally my love is God , but I find the physics of life pretty cool. we're on this f---ing planet where we are given food and material to build shelter to protect us from weather and depending where you live from hungry bears or whatever. I mean come on this is amazing , we've got something to stand on in the midst of an infinite black void. This experience is really totally mind blowing and to top it off we're given a monster of a ball of fire for free to keep us warm and give us light. I mean as an old hippi this is so F---ing trippy . Just sit back and enjoy the magnitude of space and time it's free.

[Ms Grace]

The need to find a "reason" is a byproduct of our reasoning human mind, we try to give everything meaning and context through whatever explanation best comforts us. Maybe there is a reason for everything that happens, or maybe there is no meaning for it whatsoever. When we suffer we generally need to want to know "why?", "what did I do 'wrong' to deserve this?", etc. What if there is no answer? If finding the meaning to life, to our own existence and purpose, was easy then everyone probably would have sorted it out ages ago.

[V M]

Great, now I'm thinking about the Monty Python movie The Meaning of Life    But yeah, I think nearly everyone thinks about it and asks themselves many of the same questions

Why am I here? How and why has my life turned out as it has? Is there a meaning to it? Is it good or bad? What can or should I do about it?

[darkblade]

From my point of view, as a person who's quite interested in theories of theoretical physics, cosmology, and questions that are most fundamental to understanding our physical reality, I like to think that one can always view thins from either side of the coin, that it's up to you to choose which one you wish to believe. I like to believe in religion, others think the answer is in atheism and secular science, I think these views aren't contradictory but are just another cup half full/half empty kind of situation. For example,  I find the extreme precision required in having the existence of life on earth be feasible (given the set of physical laws in our universe) an incredible thing in its own right, and one may view this as evidence of God's power, or from the atheistic perspective one can just say, thatthe math works out for this one planetand it's just by chance that life exists here, given so many others exist life was bound to exist somewhere. I don't believe that science and religion are in opposition in any way, rather they complement each other for a better understanding of the world. But that's my opinion.

Religious or not, I think everyone has these questions from time to time. But I'd suggest doing some soul searching and a bit of reading. I think religion is beautiful when done right.

[suzifrommd]

I am not at all religious, but I'm very spiritual. I believe we all can find a powerful purpose on this earth. I don't think a god GAVE us this purpose. I think we need to find it. For me, looking inside myself for truth is something I do regularly with some success. I strongly believe that somewhere in my heart I know what's good and right and if I search there, I will find my way.

I belong to a Unitarian Universalist church. They are non-dogmatic. They don't tell you what to believe, and don't have any central position on god or spirituality. Instead they have principles that include "the inherent worth and dignity of every human being" and to help each other with our search for meaning. It's been a very affirming community with a strong LGBT presence.

I hope this helps, OJ. The search for meaning is important and without it, I find it very hard to feel comfortable with myself.

[Tysilio]

But I'm just so unhappy in this life..here and now.. That I feel like I need to know for sure.. So that I can grin and bear it..

This is the human condition, pretty much. People desperately want these answers, and they're just not, definitively, there. People's need to believe that they have found The Answer drives most of the war and strife in the world: once a group of people agrees on "the truth," anyone who believes differently is a threat.

As far as I'm concerned, the meaning of our own lives is the only piece of this over which we have any control at all: our lives mean what we make of them. Loving people (and oneself) is a great place to start.

Every great belief system has the Golden Rule at its foundation; my favorite version comes from Rabbi Hillel, who said "That which is hateful to you, do not unto another: this is the whole Torah. The rest is commentary — now go study."  I take "go study" to be, among other things, an acknowledgement that even this doesn't feel like it answers the question -- but we're stuck with that.

[Tessa James]

A profoundly deep philosophical question that the sages and the ages have provided a million answers for.  A real treat to read the personal responses with the 'Love' line from a wise six year old and Monty Python movie my favs.

One simple answer is that humanity has wrestled with this for a long time and the answers often fit the times.  It is humanity that creates meaning and gives it significance relative to the numbers of like minded folks who share that version.  When i was in Vietnam the brutality and chaos of war found a lot of the disillusioned guys with an answer written on their helmets; "DONT MEAN NOTHING."   We are individually and collectively responsible for the moral and ethical codes we follow and it requires no supernatural explanation or ultimate judges to understand the need for ways we can sustainably live together on a finite and shared planet with a relatively onion skinned thin biosphere. 

I am here to be both witness and advocate for living in harmony and providing stewardship for what we share.  It may be Sunday but i intend no sermon

Go in peace, please!

[Tysilio]

We are individually and collectively responsible for the moral and ethical codes we follow and it requires no supernatural explanation or ultimate judges to understand the need for ways we can sustainably live together on a finite and shared planet with a relatively onion skinned thin biosphere.

This too. Well said!

[sonson]

Im of the belief that there is no reason why we're here, or at least no reason that we will ever find. we just are, and thats incredible in itself. life is an insane ride that we all just got dropped into, with really no control over it at all. Im just going along for the ride and observing life, in total awe of its very existence.


I get it though, sometimes life really sucks. I dont want to be trans, but its out of my control. the universe exploded into existence, and somehow resulted in me lying here in bed writing on a transgender forum with a picture of myself as a girl staring back at me. weird. life is weird.

[orangejuice]

Mmm bit embarrassed reading this back as I was kinda drunk when I posted this! I do feel that way though. I'm just trying to find a way to be happy. Sometimes I feel guilty that I obsess so much in my head about what I like or don't like about what I see in the mirror. I mean isn't it more important what is in the inside? To be a good person, be a good friend, son, brother, or whatever. I just feel like I need a little nudge. Just a heads up that hey when this life is over you'll realise how unimportant what you see in the mirror is. But then I have a very scientific mindset and it's so easy to dismiss religion to me. At least as we've created it. Not even scientifically, just logically. No offence to anyone. I wish I could have blind faith. In fact I pray for it every day.  To me the only  thing we can say for certain is we don't understand why we are here. And that drives me crazy. It could be that I'm depressed. But I've never felt like that is what is really going on with me. I sorta feel like I've rationally assessed everything about myself and life that I can't change and come to the conclusion that it's not enough for me. It doesn't work. It could be because I'm transgender of course. I think for someone like me who would have a low chance of being able to live normally as a female because of the way I look, that is the key question I'm going to have to try and answer. If I feel this way about life because I feel uncomfortable with the gender I am then maybe I'll need to try hormones anyway. But I can't say for certain that link is there. Certainly makes sense though. This is so much fun. Thanks for the replies!

[ImagineKate]

I guess I'm "religious" but I also am an educated engineer which means that I understand and appreciate science.

For me God did it. Period. People don't agree with me on this that is fine.

But if you really want to know, even if we are a wonderful accident why does it even matter? Life is beautiful. That's the way I see it.

Why are we here? Because some atoms and molecules got together and had a party.

[missymay]

I think God did it too, and it's wonderful   

[Emily R]

I hope I am not stirring a wasp nest as I am not sure if something like this is allowed.   Moderators PLEASE DELETE IMMEDIATELY if deemed necessary.   I Do not mean to insult anybody

Religious but NOT fanatical! Believe in evolution and NOT Creation

Since I cannot believe that the Universe just started out of the Big Bang, and life on Earth of the "Primordial Soup"  (amino-acids) with lightning as a catalyst without some guidance, be God, Buddha or whatever you happen to follow.  I have to believe there is a Higher Power with a Master Plan and all of us have a reason to exist the way we are, be LGBT or anything else you happen to be.

Our path or destiny is not cast in concrete, we make decisions that forge our future regardless if they are conscious on unconscious decisions.

I remember reading quite a few years (decades) ago the poem Desiderata by Max Earhman and in moments of despair I read again to get back in touch with reality, as least the way i perceive the World in which we should live.

My Humble Opinion.

Emily

[ImagineKate]

Emily I can agree with you.

My main beef is with man. Man and man made religion. If you believe in God why do you believe God hates anyone??? That is totally absurd.

God loves all of us, even the most non conforming people there are.

If you are a Christian you will know that Jesus surrounded himself with sinners. The pious are not the foundation of the church!!!

Anyway hope I'm not getting too religious and whatever you believe or don't believe is cool with me as long as you don't believe in hate and/or harm. I believe everyone is a gift. Every life is a gift. Even those of us born with what seems to be a curse. To be trans to hate your own body, to me the fact that we can fix ourselves at least to some degree is also a gift and a miracle!!!

[Rachel]

I do not know why we are here.

I have found purpose in life with my wife and daughter. Also, where I work they help a great number of children and I believe and contribute to the mission.

I donate to a lot of causes and even to an individual, I can not help everyone but I do what I can.

When the hollowness and pain inside became unbearable I realized I had to do something and that it was the only way to survive.  I faced my fear, admitted I am weak and I needed others to survive. I needed to embrace my fear and allow it to pass through me.

I have found meaning in life and I continue to learn about myself and how being open and honest really is the foundation of relationships. It has taken a lifetime to learn this lesson and I have caused other pain due to my hiding and lying.

We can not go back in time; we can only go forward and improve upon ourselves.

One thing I have learned that has helped me greatly is forgiveness to those who have hurt you.

For me, I think I am here to accept who I am and make me the best I can be.

[amber roskamp]

i am an atheist and i find the fact that we weren't created for a specific purpose to be enlightening. I don't have purpose but instead i have possibility. I can be who i want, i can be what i want, and i don't have to follow a strict rule book that is telling me how to live my life. It gives me goals to achieve in life and i spend lots of time thinking about how to achieve them. So it is true that i don't have purpose, but i am excited about life because i feel like there are absolutely endless possibilities for where my life can go; and i am excited to see every random unexpected turn of events before i am food for trees.