Susan's Place Logo

News:

Based on internal web log processing I show 3,417,511 Users made 5,324,115 Visits Accounting for 199,729,420 pageviews and 8.954.49 TB of data transfer for 2017, all on a little over $2,000 per month.

Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! (Updated)

Main Menu

I'm ready to jack it all in because my skull is too small.

Started by ScottyMac, February 01, 2015, 06:40:13 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

spacerace

Quote from: Mr.X on February 02, 2015, 03:57:22 AM
Once I decided to give zero ->-bleeped-<-s about my size and started to transition, a weight was lifted.

This what I finally had to do over this same issue. Right at the beginning of taking T, I was out with a cis male friend, and I saw our reflection in a window at a store. My head was so, so much smaller than his. I had never even thought about head size until that moment. Then, I could not stop thinking about it and got a lot of anxiety about it.

But nothing can be done. And there was no way I was going to say to myself, "Well, I would transition but my head is too small."   "I would be tons happier about myself and in life, but you know what, gosh darn my head is tiny." Yeah, not happening.  So it is what it is. You just gotta get over it.

  •  

aleon515

The skull size difference between men and women is 53 cm vs 57cm. Sounds like a lot? NOt exactly that's cm not inches. I believe it's about an inch and half. Which means all the way around. If you'd compare to height of the person (men average being taller, probably bigger skull size), I think it's probably a wash-- iow, a 5'5" man and a 5'5" woman would have the same skull size. I'd say wear a hat, there are a number of unisex hats out there, usually ball caps. I often wear a newsboy hat. Fishermen or military hats nice on guys with smaller heads.

--Jay

Quote from: spacerace on February 03, 2015, 05:18:34 AM
This what I finally had to do over this same issue. Right at the beginning of taking T, I was out with a cis male friend, and I saw our reflection in a window at a store. My head was so, so much smaller than his. I had never even thought about head size until that moment. Then, I could not stop thinking about it and got a lot of anxiety about it.

But nothing can be done. And there was no way I was going to say to myself, "Well, I would transition but my head is too small."   "I would be tons happier about myself and in life, but you know what, gosh darn my head is tiny." Yeah, not happening.  So it is what it is. You just gotta get over it.
  •  

kast

Quote from: ScottyMac on February 01, 2015, 06:40:13 PM
I am depressed out of my mind, and the only thing I hate the most is the size of my skull and my hands. Most of the problems with my body have solutions, its just my bloody bone structure which can't change. It isn't normal for guys my height to have such a small head, hands, shoulders etc, even if people don't see me as female I'll always look a bit off and strange due to it. I know it isn't all about looks etc etc but there is a difference between looking ugly and basically looking deformed. All the surgeries are going to be so much effort, the whole transition will be.

I just don't see the point, I can either be a female or some odd pin headed freak, both of which are far from appealing. The fact that their is nothing I can do, no solution to making my head, hands or feet larger honestly gives me heart ache. This also maybe upsetting to FTMs, but whenever I see one on YouTube or whatever, they never sound male. They sound like they have the gay accent, or some entrapped voice. I just want to be a normal guy. I can never be, and it breaks my heart.

I don't know why I'm posting here, you can hardly suggest some head enlargement pills to me. My way of coping with things my entire life is "it could change, it might get better in the future". And I've finally found a problem that can never change, and it is driving me insane.

Everyone has already given some great advice and insight, so there's not much else I can add, but I'm curious if you're actually overstating how small your  head is. Dysphoria (and general self-conscious behaviour) can skew your perceptions a bit and cause you to catastrophize things. Maybe it's not as small as you think?
  •  

Ron

I feel similar, most people are giants compared to my frame. I'm 5"5 and even people that are shorter tend to be bigger because I'm a 22 year old chipmunk that looks 14. Then I think about what people have said on this thread because I have seen and been around men read as cis that have a small frame we go hip and hip and I honestly think its a turn on (yeah tmi) to be around hot men my size maybe because I can pick them up and them the same. When it comes to our society I think a majority may determine gender by mannerisms and physical characterists such as flat chest, face hair, jawline? Im very sorry, if this doesn't help. I think the previous answers did it for me and made me think that I need to tweak my thinking a bit, of course my dysphoria will still be there, but trying more positive thoughts...
  •  

J.smallz

I am the same, my stature itself is small... My hands, wrists, head... I am 5'1, 23 yrs old, been on t for a while and still have to wear childrens / youth hats and i jus suck it up


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  •  

GnomeKid

I'm sorry... but this made me laugh... not at you, but because it reminds me of a story. 

Before I was out to anyone except my girlfriend at the time I was taking a bio class at my school.  One of the kids at my lab table just decided I was clearly a boy (despite my overtly female name) and referred to me as he ect.  One lab early on in the semester we were measuring head sizes to essentially discredit the "bigger head/brain = smarter" theory of the past.  Two of the smallest head measurements came from me and this guy at my table.  Neither of us were considered "less male" for it.  I was referred to as male for the rest of that 15 week semester... pre surgery... pre hormones... even pre coming out... pre-attempting to pass. 

Another anecdote:
I was at a mask workshop last week, and the instructor (a big burly man... probably around 5'9 with a shaved head and a foot long beard) commented at one point that he had a "baby head" saying that he legitimately could wear his friend's 3 year old son's hat comfortably.  I would have never noticed.  Even after the comment, when one is of course bound to then take a closer look, his head didn't look small at all. 

As trans people we tend to pick apart any detail of our morphology... ->-bleeped-<- NO ONE else notices or cares about or even connects as being male vs female. 
I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

"Oh what a cute little girl, or boy if you grow up and feel thats whats inside you" - Liz Lemon

Happy to be queer!    ;)
  •  

Taius

You know, I've long likened trans people to artists.

We see our bodies like a painter sees their most recent painting. We pick it apart, we criticize it, we put it down, we insist to everyone around us that there's something wrong with it, even when other people see it and think it's perfectly fine, and in many cases is absolutely gorgeous.

Every cis male I've met, has had their own version of that same problem. They feel it too, for sure. My brother is masculine, tall, and very handsome, and he constantly remarks about he dislikes being so short (5'9) or his hands are too small, or his head is too long, or his legs are too curvy.

The truth is that we are our own worst critics, and it's hard to ask someone you know for an opinion because automatically you believe deep down that they will tell you what you want to hear, even if what they're saying to you, really is the truth but you can't see it.


Now as for a magical head size increasing pill...There's of course no such thing as pills which are magic.
Everyone knows magic medicine is in the form of powders and elixirs!
But aside from that, many men I've met in this incredible community have mentioned that their feet, hands, head, necks, and wrists have all grown larger while on T. The bones can't suddenly change shape, but the muscles, fat, ligaments, etc. Can indeed thicken enough to make you go up a shoe size, or a hat size.

And take it from the man who's made costumes for a living, I've gotten some of my smallest head measurements from men who looked perfectly normal and proportional, even if the circumference and length of their skull was smaller than the average female customer.

I myself range on the small side, and all that does is make my shoulders look bigger!



Now, to address the voice issue.
I have to respectfully disagree on it as a large scale generalization, because the majority of trans men I have met have clearly male voices, even some who haven't had a drop of T.
Yes, some FTM guys DO have slightly more feminine sounding voices, or speech mannerisms. But many of these guys on Youtube are either in the process of beginning their journey into transitioning (Which major vocal changes can happen as quickly as months, or as slow as years depending on your genetics, where you start, and if you do any vocal therapy to assist it.) or are still in a masculine vocal range, but are being listened to by someone who's attuned to picking out flaws in other people's voices, because they do it to themselves, and to discern their own likelihood of being able to sound male based on other people's results. (Which is actually quite inaccurate, mind you.)


All of these things...We pick them out much more harshly than the cis people we're living side by side with, because we think we need to.
But the truth is, we don't. We come in as many shapes and sizes, sounds and looks as cis people do.
Dysphoria hurts, but try not to let yourself be discouraged by self judgement. Transitioning may not be for everyone, but don't convince yourself you /cant/ due to your dysphoria making it so you want to pick yourself apart piece by piece.

You have your brothers and sisters standing beside you. And maybe talking to a gender counselor will help you get an impartial view on these issues, and someone to bounce thoughts off of who you can trust not to sugarcoat it.
"Abusers are only as good as the sympathy they can get, and the empathy they can't give out."
  •  

aleon515

I'm pretty sure he has. Very small skull size is related to severe cognitive disorders. So a slightly smaller skull circumference isn't really too apparent to others and not important in the grand scheme of things. I am not saying that dysphoria isn't real. Just saying that it is likely the OP is hyperaware of a very small difference that others could likely not even notice.

--Jay

Quote from: kast on February 03, 2015, 06:57:32 PM
Everyone has already given some great advice and insight, so there's not much else I can add, but I'm curious if you're actually overstating how small your  head is. Dysphoria (and general self-conscious behaviour) can skew your perceptions a bit and cause you to catastrophize things. Maybe it's not as small as you think?
  •