My first support group meeting. What to wear?

[kellizgirl]

I am in an OK place today. My wife and I had a long talk this weekend and though she is still having a hard time it was a step at least. I have my first support group meeting tomorrow night and I am trying to figure out what to wear. I want to be respectful of my sisters and I am still working on losing weight and I have yet to start HRT. So I was thinking some jeans with my boots and a nice sweater top, since it is Ohio and it is cold here still. Do you my sisters have any thoughts on what is appropriate for your first support group meeting?

[JulieBlair]

It doesn't matter a lot, what you intend is perfect.  Be comfortable, respectful, honest and you will be embraced.

Peace,
Julie

[islandgirl]

iI was going to say a similar thing to Julie. It is more important to go in as relaxed as possible. Wear what makes you comfortable and what is you. A first meeting can cause some anxiety, partly because is new and also because you do not necessarily know the other members. Honesty, respect and patience are very important. You are going there for a reason. Don't over think what you are wearing. This will just get in the way of what you can get out of the experience. You will also find that everyone may have a different 'comfort' level and the dress will be varied.

Hope all goes well.
Kelly

[Madison (kiara jamie)]

whatever you do just don't scare yourself out of going, i went in boymode for my first couple meetings and it really helped calm down my nerves and then i felt comfortable going in girlmode, i have known some transfolk that feel like they have to attend the meetings in their preferred gender but it usually freaks them out of even going to the meeting, just make sure you make the meeting because it is an amazing resource for your transition in ways you will never realize

[Newgirl Dani]

Sounds to me like you already have just the right understanding.  A good thing to know, is that they 'know' and will most likely be looking for the one inside the clothes and helping to assure.   Dani

[JoanneB]

My group is located in sort of ruralish Maryland. Our members come presenting whatever way they are comfortable. There is no "Typical" attire. Another woman and myself always tend to be girlie girl. Several others 50:50 skirt or jeans. Others always jeans.  But that isn't your question. My first meeting is still very fresh in my mind and that was well over 5 years ago now. So I suspect I know the real question.

My first meeting was the weekend following after the new member interview. After the interview on the way home (some 90 miles away!) I remembered I forgot to ask What to Wear. Like this was my first ever TG group. So I called up the moderator and she said, whatever you are comfortable in. About 30 seconds after hanging up I realized, I didn't get the answer I wanted, Boy or Girl mode? Somewhere deep inside of me I was hoping for her to make the decision for me.

I guess you can say I got the answer I needed. I went girl mode, sort of business casual skirt and blouse.

The big thing is really how comfortable you will be, which coming and going both at home and the venue are going to be THE biggest anxiety points of the night. And not because of presentation. At the end of the day all that anyone else there is interested in is how to help ease your pain. How they can help you. To let you know that you are not alone and it does get better.

[Jessika]

My Therapist wants me to goto my first "Ladies Group" that has about 4-7 Ladies ages 40+ only by invitation. It last's like 6 weeks and meetings are twice a month. No new people can join in the specific time frame as it is a closed group.
The thing is, my Therapist had to ask the group if they don't mind having a TG Lady as they are all Cis Woman.
They want me to join them.
I know it's about female talk and my therapist thinks it would help me a lot since it could build support, make friends,learn from others, and the experience.
What should I expect ect?
Insights?
Thanks

Jess

[Tessa James]

I was one of those that insisted on skirts and dresses from day one and for about the first 8 months of transition.  I so needed to identify as female.  At support groups there seems to be a very nice mix of people at different stages in the journey and presentation as Joanne notes.  I notice people who have been 'out' longer seem most comfortable and then for some it is one of the only safe places to dress as themselves.  What a fun choice to make now that you can

Jessika you can expect lots of conversation and hopefully some questions you will be comfortable with.  Sounds like a another fun opportunity.

[kellizgirl]

The big thing is really how comfortable you will be, which coming and going both at home and the venue are going to be THE biggest anxiety points of the night. And not because of presentation. At the end of the day all that anyone else there is interested in is how to help ease your pain. How they can help you. To let you know that you are not alone and it does get better.

That is exactly what I needed. I will go as comfortable.  and Jess I will message you and let you know how my first meeting went, I am you are getting help as I am glad I finally have accepted who I am. I am Kelli. I like me!

[April Lee]

My short answer is wear whatever you feel like inside. My monthly support group meeting was last night, but I missed it because I needed to catch up on some work. I have been to 3 of those altogether. I suspect that a few eyebrows have been raised with some of my fashion choices. Although I tone it down (slightly) for those meetings, I usually go dancing when they finish up, and I dress in clothing that would be appropriate for a club. I suspect a few whisper underneath their breath when I enter the room "there goes the neighborhood". I believe a few of them need to have more fun, and I have a long term plan of trying to get a few of them go dancing with me. I bet those girls can party a little, if given a chance.

[amber roskamp]

Yea it really doesn't matter.  I go in boy mode moody the time cuz I leave from work.  Just wear what ever you want I don't think you will be treated any different

[kellizgirl]

Well my first meeting was awesome! I loved being with people that allowed me to be me and feel good about myself. I just went as I am right now because I still need work and I wanted to open and honest. I can't wait to go back next month!

[Newgirl Dani]

Cool, you made the best decision, the one 'you' felt best with.  Happy it worked out well, I always look forward to my next one.  Just recently I was asked out for coffee afterward by some of the regulars, possibly some really good friendships to be had as they are based on the things that matter: honesty, being real with each other, common ground, and maybe best of all that relaxing calm that comes from letting your guard down.  Have fun.   Dani

[JoanneB]

That was wonderful to hear Kelli. I was totally floored my first meeting. So much so I figured it was a lark, because it was such a new experience. The second meeting I felt amazed again afterwards. By the time the third ended I knew I needed to be there